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I'm not sure how to handle the long distance


Lonely utah wants tx

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Lonely utah wants tx

I'm in a long distance relationship and I miss my boyfriend so much I cry myself to sleep cause of that we video chat and text and talk on the phone but being g apart is one of the hardest things that I have had to deal with also there is a twist I'm a single mother of 4 and I want to move to where my boyfriend is at but my exhusband will not let me take my kids if I try and go. I want my happiness so bad because I was so unhappy for the longest time that now that I have this chance I don't want to pass it up am I being to selfish for wanting my happiness? Am I being selfish for wanting to just go knowing that my kids are very well taken care of? Someone please give me some advice

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You would leave your children to move to a different state for a guy?

 

Yes, you're very selfish for wanting your own happiness at the expense of your children. And I'm sad for your children that their mother doesn't value her role as their parent enough to want to take care of them properly. Perhaps they are better off with their father. But the damage you would be doing to your children is irreparable. What's even more sad is that your relationship is likely to fail as it's very improbable that a man would respect a woman who would leave her children because she was so dependent on him.

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Hi "Lonely utah wants tx",

 

Welcome to the LS LDR forum.

 

I'm in a long distance relationship and I miss my boyfriend so much I cry myself to sleep cause of that we video chat and text and talk on the phone
Stupid question: Have you ever met this guy in real life? If so, for how long? How much time did you spend together in person? And how long has he been your boyfriend?

 

my exhusband will not let me take my kids if I try and go
How often does he see the kids? You have four children? How old are they?

 

I was so unhappy for the longest time
Which is? 15 years? 2 years?

 

now that I have this chance I don't want to pass it up
After a divorce and with 4 children to support, your best chance is having a stable job and a comfortable house. Do you have those? Leaving to try out a relationship is more like a risk than a chance, though I understand your desire for freedom and starting off a new life. Nevertheless, you can't ignore your past in the process. That has a huge role in your life. You made decisions in the past, you got married and had 4 children. You can't erase that and start from scratch. I mean, you could, but with serious legal and likely psychological consequences.

 

am I being to selfish for wanting my happiness?
Obviously not. Who wouldn't. But you need to find a way to pursue your well-being/happiness which is not at the expense of others around you. Talk to a lawyer and see what are the options available in your state.

 

Am I being selfish for wanting to just go knowing that my kids are very well taken care of?
I don't understand this. Do you want peace of mind leaving your kids with someone else while you stop living with them? If you can deal with broken communication with your children, detachment, and other possible negative feelings for the rest of your life, then sure, you can do that. How often would you be able to be with them? Should they travel to you then? Or would you still have a place where you currently live (supposedly Utah)? You need to think of the practical sides of this decision. Also, should things not work out with this man, what would happen? Would you still have a house and a job to go back to? Or would you be broke and homeless?

 

My man experienced detachment from his mother when he was like 7 years old or so. The mother left to live with another man. She returned after like a year. That was a wound that took time to heal, and even in his adult life, things never returned back to normal after that.

Edited by justwhoiam
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It is unbelievable that you want to leave your kids for a man. . That speaks volumes about you as a person. . Anything that has the dismay of someone as a foundation won't go well, more so if the ones receiving the worst part are four innocent kids.

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