mini. Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Hello everyone, Me and my ex bf met on our first night in europe while we both were away from home, doing a voluntary job in the same organisation. It felt like we've known each other for many years and everything happened so quickly. He would tell me he loved me, and never felt anything like that before, he would buy me small presents etc. But at the same time he would contact to his ex all the time and also I've caught him saying bad things about me to two friends, and that he doesnt love me. I confronted him and he started crying and apologising, telling me he didnt know why he said such thing but he loves me so much.. It did hurt me and broke my trust. After the voluntary job, we've travelled around the europe together. And made plans that 6 months after turning back to our own countries, I would move to Australia (where he lives), to work or start studying etc. When we returned our homes, he was acting differently, ignoring me most of the time, always telling me he was with friends and he cant talk but I was lucky to even get that much respond.. And one day he broke up with me. After that he wanted to talk again, would only talk about our past memories and would tell me he loves me, we were like back to normal. And surprisingly:laugh:, after a month he told me it felt like nothing has changed and we shouldn't speak until I go to Australia, but he will be waiting at the airport when I get off the plane. We didnt speak for 2 months. Until he decided to contact me and ask me how my plans on going to australia were. (I am going to australia in 2 months). I am not calling or writing to him this time so its always him calling me, especially when he is out drinking with his friends... And yesterday he told me he wants to be honest and that for these 2 months we havent talked, he has been sleeping with a woman who is way older than him(around 22 years). I ask him if he is planning to stop and he was again crying and said yes, he will stop, he only wants me no one else, he misses me terribly that it breaks his heart, it meant nothing,no feelings no connection, he said he even told her about me and she knew he loved me and i will be there in 2 months so this can not continue.. but What would stop them doing it again when i return back to my country? She is a woman he works with so she will be in his life even if they stop sleeping together. then he told me that he liked someone else very much, but they stopped talking because he realised his feelings for me were stronger and he didnt want to go further with her. but he tried to talk to her, she didnt return to his calls(she has depression from what he said) and he was worried about her. I personally can not believe that his feelings for me were the reason he stopped.. i feel like its just an excuse.. Like if she answers one day and says she is fine and wants to meet up, he would meet her... i feel betrayed even though i know we were broken up.. but it still hurts to know he had (probably still has imo) feelings for someone else, or that he slept with someone else... I havent spoken to him yet because i dont know how to react. i havent been in a LDR before, i dont know whats acceptable whats not.. what do you guys think? is he playing with me? am I a doormat? I even considered cancelling my trip to australia, even though going there would be an amazing opportunity for me.. I really appreciate anyone who would answer. thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Nowty V Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Going to Australia sounds cool, but you shouldn't go to see him, or go anywhere near him. He's all over the shop, act's like a player and then starts crying. What is he trying to prove with the crying? Quite few things in your post are red flags or potential red flags. It's a long way to go and a scary place to be if you're on your own. He doesn't sound as though he is committed to your emotional well-being or your welfare. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 22, 2016 Share Posted August 22, 2016 Don't go to Australia for him. He's been yo-yoing you around and exhibiting very inconsistent behaviour for a long while. He clearly has no idea what he wants and it's hurting you. Don't expose yourself to more of this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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