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Long distance heart break.


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Hello everybody, I'm new to the forum. I decided to join because I wanted to find a place where I could vent my feelings and hear the opinion of people who may be going through similar stuff. English is not my native language, so forgive any mistakes I might make. So, let's go to my story.

 

In late 2013, in an anonymous chat site, I met a girl from a country in another continent (let's just say she's from North-Eastern Europe and I'm from South America). She was impressed because of the knowledge I had about her country, and there was some kind of chemistry between us. Before ending the convo, she gave me her Facebook, I added her and we have been talking there ever since. We quickly became friends.

 

The thing is, this girl is (at least to me), surprisingly charming, pretty and smart. I have never met a girl like that. Two or three months after we "met", I couldn't help falling in love with her. We talked a lot those days, she sent me postcards and I set her postcards too. We later began sending each other gifts for our birthdays: It all began when she spent one of her birthdays in the hospital, because of a minor surgery, and I sent her a bouquet of flowers I bought throught the net. So far so good.

 

Given the distance that separated us, I never confessed my feelings to her. I thought that doing so would mean the end of our friendship, which had become very important to me. I thought she would say to me that she liked me as a friend, that it was not possible to have something because we were separated by the Atlantic Ocean, and so on. Nevertheless... I always had the feeling she suspected something, because women are pretty smart when it comes to this.

 

So, here comes the "sad part". It's 2016, three years after we became friends, and I find she has a boyfriend. I always knew this day would come, and I thought I was prepared for it, but I wasn't, really. I cannot say I'm shattered or devastated, but it still hurts, makes me sad. She has invited me to go visit her when I travel to Europe (I have already been there, but never close to her country), but now I don't know if I can cope with it. I was planning to visit her in Febrary 2017, but the idea of her receiving me and then meeting her boyfriend is too much for me, I can't handle it.

 

I don't wanna stop talking to her, she's really a great person and I value our friendship a lot, I don't know if I will be able to accept the fact that our thing is simply not meant to be.

 

So people, what's your advice? Feel free to ask for more details, perhaps you need them to give better opinions. Thanks a lot for your time.

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Hi Quijote1993,

 

Welcome to the LS LDR forum.

 

Was the boyfriend in the picture since when you started chatting with her? Or has she just started a relationship?

 

If it's the former, then it's sad she never mentioned anything about him before. If it's the latter, you might have an advantage on him, if they just met. Because you've known her for some time already.

 

Anyway, if you really want your chance, come up with some hints. Like: "you look gorgeous in that dress." Or "I'm getting jealous here about you and this guy going out..." If she responds well to your feelings, you can even tell her "I was seriously tempted to come visit you in a few months, but really this new guy you're seeing now broke down all my hopes to see you. I know you might want to see me anyway, but knowing you're not single anymore puts everything on a different level now".

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Hi Quijote1993,

 

Welcome to the LS LDR forum.

 

Was the boyfriend in the picture since when you started chatting with her? Or has she just started a relationship?

 

If it's the former, then it's sad she never mentioned anything about him before. If it's the latter, you might have an advantage on him, if they just met. Because you've known her for some time already.

 

Anyway, if you really want your chance, come up with some hints. Like: "you look gorgeous in that dress." Or "I'm getting jealous here about you and this guy going out..." If she responds well to your feelings, you can even tell her "I was seriously tempted to come visit you in a few months, but really this new guy you're seeing now broke down all my hopes to see you. I know you might want to see me anyway, but knowing you're not single anymore puts everything on a different level now".

 

Hello justwhoiam! Well, when we began to talk there was definitely no hint of a boyfriend or significant other whatsoever. Of course, that doesn't mean she didn't have any in these 3 years. At least if she had, I never knew. All seems to indicate her relationship with this guy is quite recent.

 

Now I'm feeling a bit better, not completely ok but better. I have talked to her like always, not showing any signs of discomfort. I should have clarified this, but I've told her many times how much I admire her, how pretty she is, how smart, sweet etc. (and I really mean it), to which she has replied very positively... but as I said, I've never pressed further because I was afraid of rejection, after all, she lives so many thousands of miles away from me. Perhaps that was a mistake from my part, I should have tried, and now it's a bit too late. :(

Edited by Quijote1993
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