lazcas Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 Does it make sense for someone to ask for "faithfulness" in a LDR when they haven't met yet? In my opinion if the couple hasn't met and there isn't a commitment yet, it is not realistic, healthy or even fair for any of the people involved to ask the other for faithfulness. What do you all think about this? Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 The short answer to this would be no. Personally, I think it's ridiculous to ask for exclusivity before you've ever met. Being face to face is very different than talking on the phone and/or skyping online. You also can't really call it a 'relationship' if you've either never met in person or only see each other once a year. At least that's how I feel about it as someone who has been in a LDR. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author lazcas Posted July 26, 2016 Author Share Posted July 26, 2016 The short answer to this would be no. Personally, I think it's ridiculous to ask for exclusivity before you've ever met. Being face to face is very different than talking on the phone and/or skyping online. You also can't really call it a 'relationship' if you've either never met in person or only see each other once a year. At least that's how I feel about it as someone who has been in a LDR. Thanks for taking the time to comment. I fully agree with you Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 26, 2016 Share Posted July 26, 2016 To be blunt? I think it's an absurd thing to ask of someone you've never laid eyes on in person. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 I don't think it makes sense to close off real life, flesh and blood opportunities in favor of a pen pal who you have never met. It's very easy to be one person in the "virtual world" and another in real life. Until you spend time, in person with someone, you don't really know them. Besides, doesn't exclusive usually mean sex? How are you exclusive to someone you have never touched? Lastly, I am opposed to long distance relationships unless there is a feasible plan to move to the same location in the near future. Long term, long distance is a waste of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 (edited) I feel differently from the others here, I think it's fine as long as it's what both people want (and not one person trying to guilt-trip the other into it). My guy and I were exclusive during the few months before we met IRL. It wasn't something we 'asked' of the other, we just wanted to be that way ourselves. We're just not the kind of people who can 'multi-date', it's not how we work - when I'm interested in someone, I can't feign interest in anyone else. Even if we hadn't worked out, I wouldn't have regretted it, as a few months without dating certainly wouldn't kill me. I do look askance at people who start planning their entire future before having met, though, or people who drag out the time before the first meeting needlessly. I understand that finances/schedule can be an issue, but we were poor students living over five thousand miles apart and still made it happen in a few months' time, so I do think that if both people really want it enough it will happen. Edited July 27, 2016 by Elswyth 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 27, 2016 Share Posted July 27, 2016 Besides, doesn't exclusive usually mean sex? How are you exclusive to someone you have never touched? No, exclusivity is a frame of mind, doesn't necessarily have anything to do with sex. Where I come from, lots of couples wait for months or even years before having sex, but they are still in a relationship and exclusive before that happens. Sex doesn't change anything for them. Same as how people can have an 'emotional affair' which doesn't involve sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 28, 2016 Share Posted July 28, 2016 Does it make sense for someone to ask for "faithfulness" in a LDR when they haven't met yet? In my opinion if the couple hasn't met and there isn't a commitment yet, it is not realistic, healthy or even fair for any of the people involved to ask the other for faithfulness. What do you all think about this? LOL. How does that work with an online 'relationship' when you've never even met? Does that mean you're not allowed to Skype with anyone else or it's cheating? Personally, I think anyone who wastes their time engaging in these nonsense 'relationships' - while their real lives are passing them by - are just kind of sad. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted July 31, 2016 Share Posted July 31, 2016 Does it make sense for someone to ask for "faithfulness" in a LDR when they haven't met yet? The real question is: does it make sense to start a relationship with someone you never met? If you were crazy enough to get into something like that, being faithful can be in line with it. Link to post Share on other sites
CiaoBellaaa Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Does it make sense for someone to ask for "faithfulness" in a LDR when they haven't met yet? In my opinion if the couple hasn't met and there isn't a commitment yet, it is not realistic, healthy or even fair for any of the people involved to ask the other for faithfulness. What do you all think about this? Okay so I disagree with most. I will explain, but first - not every situation is cookie cutter, being subjective and considerate of the circumstances is key. So what exactly is your situation and how far apart are you from each other? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Personally, I think anyone who wastes their time engaging in these nonsense 'relationships' - while their real lives are passing them by - are just kind of sad. Lots of those 'nonsense relationships' (by which, based on your previous posts on the topic, I presume you mean all LDRs, not just LDRs where the two people haven't met) have closed the distance and ended up with both people spending many happy years or even their lifetimes together, though. My parents were in a LDR during college and have now been happily married for decades, for instance. I think the truly 'sad' behaviour is judging something that you do not really know or understand. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CiaoBellaaa Posted August 1, 2016 Share Posted August 1, 2016 Lots of those 'nonsense relationships' (by which, based on your previous posts on the topic, I presume you mean all LDRs, not just LDRs where the two people haven't met) have closed the distance and ended up with both people spending many happy years or even their lifetimes together, though. My parents were in a LDR during college and have now been happily married for decades, for instance. I think the truly 'sad' behaviour is judging something that you do not really know or understand. Bingo! Well said! Link to post Share on other sites
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