Jmarie Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Me and this guy I have been pretty close to for the past 2 years have finally planned, and saved up enough to be able to meet each other for the first time. The past few months have been a little rocky though, we started having issues which caused us to breakup and since then I just haven't been able to talk to him the way I used to. We still kept contact because we still have feelings for each other and eventually wanted to meet up, see if we could physically work out those problems and see how everything goes from there. The thing is I'm extremely nervous about meeting up. Aside from the fact that our issues have sort of closed me off from having much of a conversation with him, I always go crazy trying to think of what to say to people during conversations which usually ends up with me going blank. I really do care for this guy a lot, but I'm terrified that my stupid tendencies will just make it an awkward experience. Any tips on what to do when meeting your S.O for the first time? Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 You shouldn't be so nervous to meet someone you have invested TWO YEARS into. I am a little perplexed by "break up" - what were you calling this relationship with a man you had never met? And what is the game plan? Is one of you going to move so that you can be together? Online isnt real life, and all too often people invest too much time and emotion into what is really a fantasy, while real life, local, available people pass them by. Be yourself, that is what matters most. Does it make sense to be worried about being able to have a conversation with someone you have known for two years? Does he know the REAL you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jmarie Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 By break up I guess in a sense it was just that we were no longer investing all that time in each other romantically. No frequent skype calls, sharing our intimate feelings towards each other, etc. He knows me inside and out. I really wish for things to go smoothly. I overthink even though I know I should be relaxed about situations like this which just ends up being a mess. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 So what kind of distance are we talking about? What's the plan if you DO hit it off? Online forever os no way to live. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jmarie Posted June 15, 2016 Author Share Posted June 15, 2016 So what kind of distance are we talking about? What's the plan if you DO hit it off? Online forever os no way to live. Just a few states away. I'm in New York and he is in Chicago. We both have jobs to support seeing each other until a final decision is made, but for now if the first visit goes well we'll continue to visit each other as much as possible from there. He's also expressed wanting to move here if we do hit it off. I completely agree. I don't believe there is much or any of a relationship online 24/7. If it weren't for the definite possibility of meeting I don't think I would be able to keep anything up much longer. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 If you were only a few states away from each other, I think it's a bit concerning that it took 2 years for a first visit... That being said, for your first visit, just relax honestly. Don't expect it to be perfect. Yes, awkwardness can happen initially, but if you two were meant to be, it'll all come naturally and you'll hit it off just like you do online. Trust a fellow shy/awkward girl. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 If you were only a few states away from each other, I think it's a bit concerning that it took 2 years for a first visit... Except for the fact that "a few states away" is equivalent to 800 miles -- about the distance between Paris and Algeria. Driving in a car straight through it's a 12-hr trip on highways/toll roads that are also heavily used by transport lorries. Not exactly the kind of trip that's a walk in the park... Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 20, 2016 Share Posted June 20, 2016 (edited) Except for the fact that "a few states away" is equivalent to 800 miles -- about the distance between Paris and Algeria. Driving in a car straight through it's a 12-hr trip on highways/toll roads that are also heavily used by transport lorries. Not exactly the kind of trip that's a walk in the park... Best, TMichaels Yes, but they don't have to drive. Domestic air tickets within the US are a couple hundred bucks round trip if you buy the cheapest ones, no? And the flight should take a couple hours tops? And no need to muck around with getting a visa, so in general much easier to visit than a LDR where both people are in different countries/continents. I mean, I understand that it's still a much bigger challenge than if they were living in the same town, but two years is a very long time to be in a relationship without having ever met before, especially when we're not talking about a flight that takes 10+ hours or costs a few thousands. (Edit: I just looked up NY - Chicago flights and they were $71 round trip) Edited June 20, 2016 by Elswyth Link to post Share on other sites
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