Njackson Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 (edited) I know my story is a little crazy but I need some advise anyways . I've been knowing this guy from LA ( let's call him Ray ) for like 3 years but we were never dating . I met him when I visited LA 2013 and we started talking more again last year so he flew me to LA for one week last fall . Nothing happened between us and my feelings never really made it to the next level with him . This march he flew me out there again because we wanted to see if in those two weeks we could finally establish something . At first everything was going good and we finally got closer but then one night when he wasn't home he locked me out and had to call me a cab to the studio where he was recording . Me , Ray and his friends rode back in the same car and that's where I first seen his friend . Let's call him Jordan . I instantly felt drawn to him & ever since that night I couldn't get him off my mind . The next night we seen each other again it was really a coincidence. I noticed that he felt that connection to & when we had a moment alone we exchanged contacts and started texting and the next day we went on a date and everything was perfect . I fell for him instantly and knew I was gon stop talking to his friend for sure now . I know it was messed up but the heart wants what it wants . ( I also found our afterward that Ray had a whole nother girlfriend in la anyways so that made it easier ) At first it was all really complicated cause all my stuff was still over his friend place and all that and he noticed that I was barely home now cause I was with Jordan every single day and it was a whole lot of mess . At the end of the day I moved out and spent the last 7 days with Jordan before I had to fly back to Europe . Those were the most beautiful days in my life I fell for him really fast and when I first got home we face timed every night and talked all day long even went to sleep on the phone what I know now was too much . He even got his passport and is planning on coming to Europe in July . Well since the last 4 weeks he has changed on me . He is always annoyed he is mean he has mood swings . I barely hear anything nice from him anymore only when he really feels like he's losing me he starts being nice again but he will stop when he kno he's safe anyways . He even calls me names sometimes when he's mad . I have to admit I'm very needy and I need a lot of attention and that can get annoying + the distance and 9h time difference doesn't make it easier at all . I'm really only focused on him I know who I want and Who I wanna be with but he's constantly aggravated by me . It can be something small now and he goes off . But whenever I tell him let's call it quits if u don't want me anymore he don't want to hear it . He always calls me and texts me and snapchats me and asks me what I'm doing but his attitude is so bad now idk what to do anymore . I'm not happy I don't even feel respected by him anymore . Now I'm wondering if it's just the distance that makes him frustrated or if that's his personality since I only got to experience one week with him in real life . I just don't understand why he would still be with me if he doesn't want me cause he got his passport for me and he even stopped being friends with Ray and the whole crew for me . Edited June 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 He's probably being rude and disrespectful because that's his way. Sure, he was all sweet at the start when everyone is on their best behaviour - but now you're seeing the real him. You now need to work out how long you're going to tolerate it for. Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted June 5, 2016 Share Posted June 5, 2016 What's the long term plan? Over seas long distance is extremely difficult and rarely works. If you have poor communication now and he treats you like crap and the relationship is THIS new when he is supposed to be impressing you, what is the point? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Njackson Posted June 6, 2016 Author Share Posted June 6, 2016 What's the long term plan? Over seas long distance is extremely difficult and rarely works. If you have poor communication now and he treats you like crap and the relationship is THIS new when he is supposed to be impressing you, what is the point? The plan was me moving to the states when I'm done with school this fall ( before me and him even met ) cause my daddy from la . The communication isn't bad we talk all the time it's just the way he talks to me that bothers me . I have to add that I recently found out that his mother has cancer and I was thinking that he might be just stressed by the whole situation ... Idk Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 The plan was me moving to the states when I'm done with school this fall ( before me and him even met ) cause my daddy from la . The communication isn't bad we talk all the time it's just the way he talks to me that bothers me . I have to add that I recently found out that his mother has cancer and I was thinking that he might be just stressed by the whole situation ... Idk Stop making excuses for him. My husband's mother died of cancer and he was never once rude to me during the time she was sick. The way he talks to you is very much a communication issue. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
VeveCakes Posted June 6, 2016 Share Posted June 6, 2016 Stop making excuses for him. My husband's mother died of cancer and he was never once rude to me during the time she was sick. The way he talks to you is very much a communication issue. Thank you. These are huge ref flags. The whole situation. Having no issue with taking you from his friend, the way he talks to you... Etc. This isn't healthy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
greenly24 Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 I would be cautious. It seems like you (and probably he as well) got swept up in everything and kind of lost your perspective on things. Everyone deserves respect and it sounds like you know that you have not been getting respect from him. I say that even if you're a little unsure, trust your gut. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 Had your marriage dissolved from back in Sept 2015 and you are now seeking another relationship? You may want to do a time out from the "heart wants what it wants" , and stabilize your inter-relationship skills. Sorry that this chap is less then respecting.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Njackson Posted June 8, 2016 Author Share Posted June 8, 2016 The marriage issue was for my friend because she didn't want to make her own account on here . They could solve it though and they are going to move in together soon . The issue with my situation I understand now that's how he is and he won't change . I'm young I should just chill . Link to post Share on other sites
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