Should I pretend to not be here?

[DexterLS]

Hello guys,

 

So I recently got into a relationship with my friends of 10 years. I always admired her and she is one of the smartest, kindest and sweetest person I know.

 

It's great to be with her. Unfortunately, due to some circumstances, we have to do a LDR. She is doing her Masters in France while I recently got an amazing job in another country.

 

The job is amazing and I get to travel every two weeks. The company is kind enough to let me go to France every 2 months and I get to meet up with her but, even then being in a LDR is incredibly hard. However, having her with me is worthwhile.

 

So, the point of this post is to discuss about something else. Mobile phone plans are quite expensive in France, especially for a student. So when she leaves home in the morning, I don't get in touch with her at all for the day. I can't.

 

She has her own friends and they hang out a lot as well as a group and I try as much as possible not to interfere with her space when it's happening. Tomorrow, she is going on a little trip to another country with them and I won't get to talk to her for two days.

 

However, it seems I am always here for her and in a matter of minutes. I *always* have internet access even when I'm out of the country and I reply to her texts/skype requests in a matter of seconds. I hate to give her the feeling that my life is all about her, if you know what I mean.

 

I don't want her to take me for granted. Unfortunately, due to my work and other circumstances, mainly because I'm anti-social, I don't have a big circle of friends like her. I'm incredibly focused with my work all the time and tend to be alone for the most part of it.

 

How do I give her the impression that I have my own life, if you understand what I mean? I'm not sure if I made myself clear enough.

Edited May 20, 2016 by DexterLS

[lazcas]

Even if you don't have a very active social life for sure you have a hobby or you could get one. It would be good if you can not just pretend not to be there, but to be actually busy doing something you like. It is not healthy that you focus on her too much.

[emi]

How about stop caring about what she think about you making her ur whole world , and start actually focus on sth else. If u get to travel so much you have zillion interesting things to do. May i ask what is ur job?

[DexterLS]

How about stop caring about what she think about you making her ur whole world , and start actually focus on sth else. If u get to travel so much you have zillion interesting things to do. May i ask what is ur job?

 

I am the Director of Soft. Engineering at a multi-national company. We have branches in other countries and I have to fly out at least twice per month.

 

Travelling on business doesn't mean I get to do a lot of interesting things unfortunately.

[coolheadal]

What do you from all of this? Is there some sort of plan. Doesn't matter if you have social life but your life right now all about her otherwise you would have moved on with someone local. We all fall some fantasy love but in the truth of it all need to wake-up from this love dream if your completely okay with your life as you see it right now?

[DexterLS]

What do you from all of this? Is there some sort of plan. Doesn't matter if you have social life but your life right now all about her otherwise you would have moved on with someone local. We all fall some fantasy love but in the truth of it all need to wake-up from this love dream if your completely okay with your life as you see it right now?

 

I am okay with my life as it is. This is someone I knew for 10 years. If I am with her right now, it means I have plans to be together for a long time.

 

I just don't want it to end badly like my previous relationship. So I'm trying my best for her not to eventually take me for granted.