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Hi. I was in an LDR relationship with a girl in UAE for 2 years. I have plans of moving to the country but may take awhile because of financial reasons. The relationship was running smooth. We communicate everyday thru chat videocalling etc. for more than a year. But situation suddenly changed and it became lesser. She became cold so i wonder and looked for reasons. Then i found some posts on fb that somewhat matches the posts of some guy on the same area. I became suspicious and began to question her. She told me that was nothing. So i believd her. But situation worsen and likes comments and posts did not stop with that guy. I told her if she has respect on me she will stop doing those things. But instead of listening, she became distant. Months have passed and we argued for the same reason. So she deleted on all her social connections and asked some space. After 2 weeks we got back together but did not accept my friend request on fb. I didnt mind. I decided to trust her. She told me she loves me and that there's noone else in her life. But one day she told me that we should just stay as friends. I dont want to push her off so i agreed. After that incident, i have not contacted her but i never heard from her either. It's been 2 weeks. So i decided to check her fb with help of common friends. So there i realized that she's still in contact with that guy. She's coming home next week. I don't know if i still need to see and talk her. Please help.

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ExpatInItaly

Have you ever met her in person?

 

I don't think there's much point trying to talk to her. It doesn't sound as though you'd be in the same place for quite some time anyway, and she's met a local guy. You can't really compete with that, to be honest.

 

It would be a far better use of your time to go No Contact and date locally.

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TaraMaiden2

She's already told you she just wants to be friends.

That is as much a 'you are dumped' as any phrase could be.

 

You also haven't communicated for a while. And spying on her fb page (when she hasn't friended you, remember?) is confirmation you are no longer in her line of sight.

 

Buddy, as far as she is concerned, you are history and it's over.

 

Accept it, leave it, and move on.

 

She certainly has.

 

Go No Contact (see link in my signature) and stick to it.

Do NOT give into the temptation to re-connect with her when she returns.

 

You'll just make a fool of yourself.

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Have you ever met her in person?

 

I don't think there's much point trying to talk to her. It doesn't sound as though you'd be in the same place for quite some time anyway, and she's met a local guy. You can't really compete with that, to be honest.

 

It would be a far better use of your time to go No Contact and date locally.

Yes. She went on vacation last February 2015 and another vacation last September and was a very romantic one. The changes occured february this year where our relationship was on and off. And she is scheduled to come home next week. Before she broke up with me, we had plans of going out of town and was so excited about it. She told me she loves me just the same that things have changed because of her work loads. She said i should trust her and not to be jealous of anyone. She broke up with me because she got tired of my jealosy over that guy. We have been agruing and having the same issue for months so she said to each other some time to think and just be friends for now.

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She's already told you she just wants to be friends.

That is as much a 'you are dumped' as any phrase could be.

 

You also haven't communicated for a while. And spying on her fb page (when she hasn't friended you, remember?) is confirmation you are no longer in her line of sight.

 

Buddy, as far as she is concerned, you are history and it's over.

 

Accept it, leave it, and move on.

 

She certainly has.

 

Go No Contact (see link in my signature) and stick to it.

Do NOT give into the temptation to re-connect with her when she returns.

 

You'll just make a fool of yourself.

Thanks buddy! I love her so much and i don't wanna lose her. We had plans of going out of town when she arrives home. I have not contacted her since the break up to allow some time to think things over. On our last conversation, she told me that we should meet so we can save the relationship. So i am confused. She always laughed at me whenever i ask about the posts. Same reaction when i got mad and told her to just be with that guy. She said i need to relax and that that was nothing really. She did not accept me on fb so i will stop from stalking her. I just need to trust her and that's it. Am i being paranoid?

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ExpatInItaly
Yes. She went on vacation last February 2015 and another vacation last September and was a very romantic one. The changes occured february this year where our relationship was on and off. And she is scheduled to come home next week. Before she broke up with me, we had plans of going out of town and was so excited about it. She told me she loves me just the same that things have changed because of her work loads. She said i should trust her and not to be jealous of anyone. She broke up with me because she got tired of my jealosy over that guy. We have been agruing and having the same issue for months so she said to each other some time to think and just be friends for now.

 

I think it's probably best to just cut ties.

 

While you shared some nice memories, you have comparatively spent little time together in person. It doesn't sound as though you two would be able to close the distance in the near future either, given that you mentioned financial constraints which prevent you from moving. From an objective standpoint, that's not a lot to build on when she's got someone local. Distance is very difficult for many people and she has discovered it doesn't work for her.

 

It seems you weren't totally off-base about this guy. It sounds like there's something between them and you would probably be wasting your energy and setting yourself up for pain if you try to reconnect with her when she's home.

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Thanks buddy! I have plans of moving hopefully this Decemeber and she knew that. And btw, the guy is not on that area but is in a different country.

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ExpatInItaly

I'm confused, OP. In your first post, you stated that this guy is in the same area. Can you clarify?

 

The important factor here is that she told you she just wants to be friends. She didn't accept your FB request (After two years together, this is very odd) And you haven't heard from her. That's all you need to know. She doesn't want a relationship anymore.

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I'm confused, OP. In your first post, you stated that this guy is in the same area. Can you clarify?

 

The important factor here is that she told you she just wants to be friends. She didn't accept your FB request (After two years together, this is very odd) And you haven't heard from her. That's all you need to know. She doesn't want a relationship anymore.

Yes he was. But is working in a different country. She's home. Friends told me she's here since monday but havent heard from her till now. She messaged me on fb last sat. The message was, "what's up?!" I did not respond. And was it. I am hoping she'll show up before she leaves the country again.

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TaraMaiden2

No; you need to hope and pray she DOESN'T.

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She is not interested in dating you exclusively. She may want to be friends. She gets an ego boost from you liking her but if she's not willing to cut ties with this other LDR guy what do you really have?

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She is not interested in dating you exclusively. She may want to be friends. She gets an ego boost from you liking her but if she's not willing to cut ties with this other LDR guy what do you really have?

If she doesn't i'll be sad. But will just accept and move on. Thanks for responding!

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If she doesn't i'll be sad. But will just accept and move on. Thanks for responding!

Yeah. I don't know. I just love her so much. Thanks for responding.

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I got a message from her that she's droping by our house tommorrow. She wants to talk things out. And now i'm scared. I'm having negative thoughts that she needs closure.

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I hope to get positive results tommorrow. She texted me that she will drop by our house. Now i can't sleep. I'm worried.

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ExpatInItaly
I hope to get positive results tommorrow. She texted me that she will drop by our house. Now i can't sleep. I'm worried.

 

I think she's toying with you. She already told you she only wants to be friends.

 

I don't think seeing her is a good idea, for your own well-being.

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TaraMaiden2

You should be.

This will end in tears, mostly yours. sadly.

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You should be.

This will end in tears, mostly yours. sadly.

You're right. I cried and she did not. It was like wishing you'd never had to see each other. And it hurts like hell.

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justwhoiam

What country are you in? And what's the other country she's going to back & forth? UAE?

 

Where do you both reside exactly?

 

And where's the other guy?

 

So she came to your house and talked to you? I would have stayed out all day.... Anyway, what did she say? What was the deal?

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What country are you in? And what's the other country she's going to back & forth? UAE?

 

Where do you both reside exactly?

 

And where's the other guy?

 

So she came to your house and talked to you? I would have stayed out all day.... Anyway, what did she say? What was the deal?

We are both from the Philippines. The guy is from dubai and is working in saudi. What happened? It's over. So yes time to move on. Thanks to everyone who finds time to give advices.

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She's already told you she just wants to be friends.

That is as much a 'you are dumped' as any phrase could be.

 

You also haven't communicated for a while. And spying on her fb page (when she hasn't friended you, remember?) is confirmation you are no longer in her line of sight.

 

Buddy, as far as she is concerned, you are history and it's over.

 

Accept it, leave it, and move on.

 

She certainly has.

 

Go No Contact (see link in my signature) and stick to it.

Do NOT give into the temptation to re-connect with her when she returns.

 

You'll just make a fool of yourself.

Hi. I forgot to thank you for your response. Thanks! ? She went here last night and we talked. She said she isnt ready to commit again but she loves me. She said there was nothing going on between her and the guy and agreed to remove the guy of fb and then we made love. It was not good. Probably because i am a bit confused or mad. She said that she would wait me to get there by december and our will pursue plans for out-of-town next week. But when i woke up this morning, i found out that she has deleted my friends and relatives on fb. The guy is still on her list. So i texted her. She told me that the guy is in town and she's meeting her this afternoon. I was shocked. She canceled our trip and told me to stop. She doesnt want to hurt me anymore. I was so mad that i deleted all her contacts and blocked her on fb and other social media. I felt betrayed and hurts like hell. What will i do next? Will she ever come back? Please help!

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justwhoiam

That was a stupid move. You said it was over, then why having sex with her? I know it probably wasn't easy to resist... but you would have had more chances standing your ground.

 

Now, I guess it felt like chemistry was not there anymore. Sex was mediocre. Her last memory with you is nothing amazing or unforgettable. Obviously she turned to the other guy to see if it goes any better with him. It's sad, but she used you.

 

Now leave her alone. Go out. Make sure you advertise as single on FB. Then start posting pictures of you with other sexy girls having fun. And ignore:

a) her posts

b) her messages

 

You will get over this current crush and will eventually find someone better.

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That was a stupid move. You said it was over, then why having sex with her? I know it probably wasn't easy to resist... but you would have had more chances standing your ground.

 

Now, I guess it felt like chemistry was not there anymore. Sex was mediocre. Her last memory with you is nothing amazing or unforgettable. Obviously she turned to the other guy to see if it goes any better with him. It's sad, but she used you.

 

Now leave her alone. Go out. Make sure you advertise as single on FB. Then start posting pictures of you with other sexy girls having fun. And ignore:

a) her posts

b) her messages

 

You will get over this current crush and will eventually find someone better.

She initiated. And i don't want to reject her. But yes i guess she was just testing her feelings for me. Do you think she chose the other guy over me? I was hoping she'll change her mind and come back before she leaves. I deleted her contacts and blocked her on social media. So there's no way we can she each other's posts. She did not add me up anyway.

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justwhoiam
Do you think she chose the other guy over me?
I think she didn't make any decision yet. She might have other options on the backburner. She will pick what she feels best for her. And I don't want to sound materialistic, but as you said she's from the Philippines, I guess if he's wealthy, the better.
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I think she didn't make any decision yet. She might have other options on the backburner. She will pick what she feels best for her. And I don't want to sound materialistic, but as you said she's from the Philippines, I guess if he's wealthy, the better.

Do you think she will contact me again?

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