Kbb Posted April 9, 2016 Share Posted April 9, 2016 Hi guys, so I met my girlfriend, well now my ex, in July last year. It was going good, really good in fact and we both agreed it was the best time of our lives until Christmas and January, and the weeks around that time. We had such a strong relationship, we would tell each other everything. We still tell each other everything but we both feel as if it's lost a bit of its spark. We still love each other, but something is missing. For the first 5 months or so it was amazing. But after that it seemed to go downhill a bit and we were on and off. Mainly because it's a long distance relationship and her parents wouldnt let her travel to see me. Even when I offered to go the whole way, her parents still wouldn't let her see me. I think that's because she thought it was a lie. I have no explanation other than that. Anyway, for both of us it's our first relationship, first kiss, etc. Because im only 16 and she is 17. A lot of memories have been made in this relationship and its genuinely killing me, knowing that she isn't my girlfriend. In February we broke up, we tried again in March but it didn't work out because we couldn't meet, her mum went back on her word for some reason. Sorry for this being so long.. Most of its probably pointless information you don't need to know in order to help me, but I want to put everything out there. She's also under a lot of stress with doing her a levels, and she's unsure about other things in her life as well. We also seem to have a lot of Petty arguments. Not big ones. But small ones, and too many of them. I can't stand the thought of her being with another guy. It breaks my heart. It annoys me, I really don't want it to happen And a week or 2 ago I asked her if there's any way she sees us getting back together again in the future, and she said, and I quote "probably not". I literally felt my heart break when she said that. But then she said she doesn't want to say we're not getting back together for sure, in case she changes her mind. She's so special to me, and she's my world. She's not like any of the other girls I've spoken to and I don't want to lose her forever. Is there anything I can do? Also I don't really understand how you can love someone, yet say there's very little if any hope on our future? She says she still wants a future with me but whether it will happen is another story. I really don't know what to do. I've asked her if she's looking to move on and she says no. So I have given her an opportunity, I'm not holding her back. I just.. I don't know what she wants.we were talking about it earlier and she says she wants time to think. Any advice is greatly appreciated on this situation. I really don't want to lose her. Thank you so so much for taking time to read about my problems, I appreciate it. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 Relationships do not last for ever. Especially when you're so young, especially when you're LDR. All odds are against you. You are very hurt now, but you have no choice but to accept that, and move on. One thing I can promise you: A few years from now, you will find a girl (or girls) that is (are) so different and so much suitable for you, much more than her. You will be laughing how narrow minded you were on those early years. It's a guarantee! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kbb Posted April 10, 2016 Author Share Posted April 10, 2016 Thanks for the reply lolablue17! I really appreciate what you've said, and I'll take your advice on board, seeing as I'm so young like you say and inexperienced with relationships. I completely get what your saying, but I'm finding it really hard to accept it and try and move on from her. Purely because i love her so much have you got any tips for moving on? Maybe from your past experiences you might have had something thats worked well for you. Thank you so much again. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted April 10, 2016 Share Posted April 10, 2016 have you got any tips for moving on? Maybe from your past experiences you might have had something thats worked well for you. Thank you so much again. Everyone has their own personality, and there are many ways to move on, and thing that effect one, might not work on others. For me I can tell you that for me first of all, I must stop expecting for the pain to go away quickly. If the break up involves lies, deception, cheating, than it's the longest for me to heal. For me if I'm dating with another girl, it might help a lot. There is another thing that helped me, I'm not proud about it, and it's very immature (Yes, you can be immature also in my age). If I've managed to have a final winning in an ego battle with her, it always helped. For example, if she needs something, I never refuse and never agree, keeping her mind in the fog. If she's testing the water after a while, I will never give her the satisfaction and tell her nothing about me. (I'm not talking about a clean break up, I'm talking about deception, lies, and so...) If I can make her feel bad about herself - great healing for me... and so and so... Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted April 11, 2016 Share Posted April 11, 2016 This girl loves you but she as you has someone in the background. Sure you could have future together but when? It could be years or never? Just don't know because if she doesn't know you will never know. Like a cat and mouse love story. If you like this sort of life then you are welling to put up with it. Sure you have a love like no other type of love because that's what it is no other type or relationship that is so challenging like this one is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kbb Posted May 23, 2016 Author Share Posted May 23, 2016 My apologies for taking so long to reply guys, I just had to give myself a long time to think, not that it helped at all... And apologies for bringing a new thread back to life but I figured id continue on this one rather than start a new one. Anyway, I don't know whats going on with our relationship in all honesty. Shes saying she loves me, but yesterday we had a talk about it and I asked does she see me as a friend and nothing more at the moment, But im putting that down to the fact that we haven't met since October, and shes busy with her a levels revising like 8 hours a day at least. Im hoping to see her in a week or two. But what im wondering is, is the fact that she sees me as a friend going to change? Maybe when she sees me in person it will reignite the spark? Or does that not happen? Im going through a lot of stuff atm and its killing me shes not my gf, and we only talk for an hour or two each day any tips from you guys? Anything at all??? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts