No Longer In Love?

[Dreamwalkers]

This is my first time using this forum, but I want to hear somebody's input or maybe even get an advice on what to do. I just hope this won't be a long read but I have thought about this.

 

I am a bisexual female, I been in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend for three years and the past two years of our relationship everything was fine. She was sweet, funny and supportive in every way you can think of and she was so accepting of everybody until nine months ago when she found out her father was seeing a single mother of a six year old, our relationship went bad. (She's 26 and still lives with her father because of her disability).

 

And long story short, they went camping for the weekend but then almost two weeks later she texted me on her phone telling me that her phone was broken when her dad left it where it would've fell and get broken off of their camper and he blamed her for it, so therefore he and his girlfriend forced her to give them her phone and cut off communication with me for three months. I have no idea why but I felt it is more than just a phone having a broken glass. I mean I had my phone broken but my parents don't blame me, they helped me get a phone and make a transfer. But my girlfriend's dad and his girlfriend refused to buy another phone, and we pretty much went separated for two weeks.

 

Then she gotten onto her Nintendo DS where we began communicating secretly BUT then a week later he finds out and took it from her too, completely shutting me and her both from each other. The only time I would ever talk to her on the phone was when he gives her the phone to use when she's going out to a friend's house and I confided in my family about it and they didn't like how I was being treated cause it was obvious the whole ordeal was against me or my family for whatever reason there is.

 

But the relationship got even worst when she blamed me for it, saying I didn't want to go visit her or buy a plane ticket. But yet she knows 1) I cannot afford it, 2) I have such a bad fear of heights and she even knows that but still went on to say everything was my fault.

 

Now months later her dad gave her the phone and DS back. But this is where it got bad, she became more distant with me and never really gave any thought to what I say such as I have concerns about her well being and that I wanted to try to be there for her emotionally but it's like talking to a blank wall. And we began arguing by phone and internet constantly because she takes what I say the wrong way and I tried to work the relationship out in hopes she would realize that just cause she's angry at somebody it don't mean it shouldn't be me she's mad at cause she knows that I care about her.

 

Then this is where I became nothing but a emotional dumping ground for her, like venting about something is one thing but when she's constantly complaining about the same situation and the problem with her dad, his girlfriend or the girlfriend's child (whom she hated so much that she even hopes he rots in hell and I am not kidding she told me) which honestly her hate towards kids scares me more because I love kids, I have kids in my life whom I care about so the way she is with them makes me scared of having children through adoption or surrogate with her in near future so I decided that I won't take a huge chance at it if we do end up being together.

 

But back to the emotional dumping ground, whenever it is a small thing with her family that sets her off or something that I think shouldn't be a big deal she acts as if I was defending them when I wasn't, and if she's mad at them for calling her stupid, ugly, trampy, trashy just cause of the clothes she wears (she always wore jeans and t-shirts) and I tried and tried to tell her to leave the house go to a friend's house for a few hours or even spend a weekend and she never wants any of that. She always stays with them and she even remains angry at them.

 

And when I try to bring up a positive subject she ignores it and continues rambling about how much she hates living with them and how she wants to leave then we get into a argument whenever I tell her to simply leave, she has every right to leave and she is an adult. She tells me she isn't scared but she just goes back to the people who clearly have no intentions of caring about her at all.

 

She never really gives any thought that maybe I want to talk about something less negative and she never really cares about what I feel or think just what she wants and when she gets what she wants, I think she just takes advantage of the fact that I hate to say anything because I don't want to fight with anybody anymore. But when I do say I want to sleep, I want to eat or hang out with my parents she just gets upset more and the result is she stops talking to me for weeks just to hurt me.

 

She also goes as far as flaunting her new friends she finds more attractive than me to make me jealous when what's she really doing is hurting me. She hits on other girls just to hurt me and she knows what she is doing and this is where I am more angry at the fact she was mad that SHE made her own choice to stay hateful and made her own choice to stay with the people who have done nothing but hurt her like she has hurt me.

 

Then she claims she still loves me and wants me to stay in the relationship. I did gave a thought that she's going through a rough patch so I can try to be there for her. I tried to work the relationship out and I mean I have to do all the work when she never gave any effort into it. After a while we became distant and I went back to spend more time with friends, my family and spend time writing short stories and writing with online friends who actually supported me when three of them know my situation. I realize that somehow my heart doesn't feel anything for her anymore. Whatever love and hope I had for her left is dying out and I am not sure if I am falling out of love from her or I am going crazy but honestly, I just can't keep going on with this emotional waste she constantly dumps on me anymore.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, can you clarify: Have you ever met her in person? I didn't see this detail in your post, sorry if I missed it.

 

She doesn't love you. She takes full advantage of your attention and concern while she behaves like a spoiled brat. Also, I have a very hard time believing her father confiscated her phone for months. That sounds like a right load of BS. Are you sure it's her father she lives with? So many details don't add up.

 

Why in heaven's name are you tolerating this and wasting your time?

[Dreamwalkers]

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Edited February 9, 2016 by Dreamwalkers
Still newbie, sorry.