yxalitis Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 (edited) I won't call this a Relationship, but I am LDD (D for dating) a girl in the Philippines. She messaged me on Oasis, but I get a lot of foreign girls do that, mostly they are flakes, fakes, or crazies... I start chatting back to this one...she is young (too young, TBH), cute, and actually was literate and articulate, far more so than most. I swap viber details, and we chat every day...so far about 3 weeks. I was sort of testing, interested in seeing what she was after...not believing for a second she was genuine. She...is...really nice! Not a hint of suggesting she wants money, no sick buffaloes to care for. No hint of crazy. We exchanged photos, talked all about her life in Cebu, what we want from life, why she interested in an older guy. Of all the people I have chatted to online she is the most responsive, will initiate communication most of the time, happily sends me cheeky photos of herself in her night clothes... We exchanged some nudes, she was too shy to show me "down there" "maybe next time" but everything else was OK. And that was only once, we mostly just chit chat about our lives, activities, she's put me onto a great TV show (Strike Back), proving her English is excellent if she can follow that no problems. She's actually pretty settled, family close by, she looks after her nieces and nephews, helps run the Internet shop owned by her Aunt... She's looking for an older guy, doesn't like younger men, but hasn't had a bf for three years, bad break up that scarred her... I've told her briefly about my situation. I had already planned a trip to Asia in September, changing it to go see her would be easy...she's very keen on the idea, and even if it all goes to hell in a hand basket (Where does that expression come from?) I still have a nice holiday... But...what's the future? She's happy there, I wouldn't want to drag her to cold Melbourne away from all she knows and loves, and I maaaaybe could see myself having a "sea change" and moving to a quieter lifestyle working casually...but..that's a stretch... Happy to keep texting her as a modern PPWB (Pen Pal with benefits) But... Do I go see her...? I still have 6 weeks before the trip, so if the rapport continues to build... Should I go that far, or leave it as it is? Edited July 29, 2015 by yxalitis Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 I can't offer any knowledge with moving to to the Philippines, but if you enjoy the experience so far then why not visit her. You'll also get a better feel for the country and if you believe it would fit your lifestyle. Some people aren't meant to move to another country, but others will fully embrace the change of scenery and adapt well to their new environment. It depends on you and how you personally feel about it all. As long as you are alright with leaving things behind, then I see no problem in trying a new adventure. There are scammers, fake people all over the world, likewise there are many ways to combat putting yourself at a risk by taking precautions as you deem necessary. It wouldn't be a bad idea to discuss all possible scenarios, even ones you can already conclude won't be an option. Finding a solution you both are happy with should be the end goal, assuming you really do enjoy each other as much as you can possible imagine. Age mean different things to all of us, some it means nothing. As long as two people feel they are connected it doesn't really matter what others may think. Life is about taking chances, we never know how things can unfold unless we take the jump and pursue things we may be interested in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 I can't offer any knowledge with moving to to the Philippines, but if you enjoy the experience so far then why not visit her. You'll also get a better feel for the country and if you believe it would fit your lifestyle. Some people aren't meant to move to another country, but others will fully embrace the change of scenery and adapt well to their new environment. It depends on you and how you personally feel about it all. As long as you are alright with leaving things behind, then I see no problem in trying a new adventure. There are scammers, fake people all over the world, likewise there are many ways to combat putting yourself at a risk by taking precautions as you deem necessary. It wouldn't be a bad idea to discuss all possible scenarios, even ones you can already conclude won't be an option. Finding a solution you both are happy with should be the end goal, assuming you really do enjoy each other as much as you can possible imagine. Age mean different things to all of us, some it means nothing. As long as two people feel they are connected it doesn't really matter what others may think. Life is about taking chances, we never know how things can unfold unless we take the jump and pursue things we may be interested in. What a fantastic reply! Thanks...my life has been pretty tumultuous, I moved all over Australia growing up, so I'm pretty adaptable. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 (edited) Uh.... how young exactly is 'too young'? Have you talked to her with the webcam on? Do you know her real name? Honestly, it's really not common for a 'normal' young Filipina girl to send nudes to a man online whom she's never met and has only been talking to for 3 weeks. So my thought is that either she works for an online scam syndicate, or the photos are being sent to you by someone who isn't her. There ARE genuine Filipina girls who want genuine Rs or dating, but those girls aren't throwing nude photos around like candy. Edited July 29, 2015 by Elswyth 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ohnoo Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Have you two Skyped? If not, you can send me her photo if you want. I can confirm if she's a celebrity or not. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Get her on Skype or FaceTime or some other webcam communication. First confirm that she is real. Since she works in an internet point, this should be very easy for her. If she's sent you some half-naked pictures, she shouldn't be hesitant to speak to you on cam. If she is, you have a problem. And what is the age gap here? If she checks out and is who she says she is, I don't see a problem in at least meeting. Don't worry about the future yet, as you don't really even know her. See who she is in real life first. Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 (edited) Exchanging nudes with a 'too young' Asian girl is always the epitome of class. Seems kind of odd that she's not looking to change her living situation in any way and is perfectly happy right where she is - with her family and helping run the family internet café and all. So why then, would she CHOSE to reach out to an older guy who lives on a different continent? That doesn't make sense at all if she has no intention of leaving her family or her country. I think 'older guy' = money to her. The younger guys probably don't have as much money. LOL. Methinks someone is being scammed. There will eventually be a request for money for some kind of family emergency or a plane ticket for her to come to Australia - or an eventual emigration to Australia. It's coming. Oh yes...it's coming.... Edited July 29, 2015 by Lois_Griffin 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 LOL. Methinks someone is being scammed. There will eventually be a request for money for some kind of family emergency or a plane ticket for her to come to Australia - or an eventual emigration to Australia. Aside from that, there are also other, more sinister possibilities. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted July 29, 2015 Share Posted July 29, 2015 Aside from that, there are also other, more sinister possibilities. Oh my! I checked, he's still alive: he got 15 years! What a nightmare. Not sure he was totally oblivious to what was going on though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 Oh my! I checked, he's still alive: he got 15 years! What a nightmare. Not sure he was totally oblivious to what was going on though. Yeah, what moron isn't suspicious about some guy handing you a bag and redirecting you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 To add more details… Yes we have video chatted, it wasn’t too good with her internet link, but I can confirm she is exactly who she says she is. I asked her why she contacted me, I have exactly the same questions you do… Her answer was that no one in her life interests her, her ex bf of three years revealed he never loved her, only used her for sex. She’s looking for a more mature man, who knows how to treat a girl right. I told her (by way of example) how I was chatting to a Thai girl, and the minute she talked about money problems I cut her off, as I’m not stupid to send money like that… How she reacted to that reassured me… She didn’t act defensively like you might expect if that was her long game. She said “Maybe she wants to share her problems to you” Yes, we exchanged some naughty photos, but once only…and these weren’t canned shots taken earlier, she was revealing more of herself in a teasing game of truth or dare, so she would take a photo in response, exactly as asked. She only went as far as her boobs, no more. She’s not saying she wants to come back home with me, and if I go up and stay with her, we would sleep separately at first, until she was comfortable with me, so she’s not a Thai girl in that respect. I don’t think either of us have an agenda, I enjoy chatting with her tremendously. And we chat for hours each night and throughout the day… She’s very mature (and whilst every guy says that about a younger girl, it’s true) Her music taste blew me away… America, Chicago, Peter Cetera, David Gates…sure as hell not your usual choice for a young girl. This is part of my problem, neither of us seem to be in a position to relocate to be with each other, and it’s not just about a casual encounter on holidays (I’d arrange a few girls on Thai Friendly and go to Bangkok if I wanted that…)…and whilst I guess we would probably end up in bed once she was assured I’m not there to use her…then what? I’m sure as hell not going to take her away from her family. Move to the Philippines? It does have an appeal, but in all reality it’s not likely to happen… I don’t want yet another man to use a foreign girl for free sex on his Asian holiday, then go back home with no intention of ever seeing her again… I asked her all this…you see we talk about these fears too. I guess we'll see...if indeed we really can love each other...we can decide what to do...but until we meet, no point in worrying about it... Yeah…she’s 23… Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted July 29, 2015 Author Share Posted July 29, 2015 Ha! On her Facebook page: STUDY in AUSTRALIA Free Seminar DAVAO CITY She's attending a seminar about studying in Australia...! Link to post Share on other sites
ohnoo Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Ha! On her Facebook page: STUDY in AUSTRALIA Free Seminar DAVAO CITY She's attending a seminar about studying in Australia...! LOL! So that's her agenda. She wants a place to stay. If you think about how she can possibly exchange sex in order to have a place to stay in Australia that's really low. She's using you, drop her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted July 30, 2015 Author Share Posted July 30, 2015 LOL! So that's her agenda. She wants a place to stay. If you think about how she can possibly exchange sex in order to have a place to stay in Australia that's really low. She's using you, drop her. Or...accept it for what it is and happily enjoy a sexy young girl in my bed for a few months while she studies... Dude, expand your mind a bit! Yes, I want true love, but nothing wrong with this in the meantime... Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Or...accept it for what it is and happily enjoy a sexy young girl in my bed for a few months while she studies... Dude, expand your mind a bit! Yes, I want true love, but nothing wrong with this in the meantime... Hmm. If that was the clear deal, then I might agree with you. But if the deal is moving towards bf/gf, then expect meals, going out for dinner, being spoiled in the meantime. She wouldn't have time to clean the house, because she's studying, but she's not an au-pair. You'd think an au-pair deal would fit her situation, but really, who feels like baby sitting or housekeeping in exchange for a place to stay, when you can have a man spoiling you? Ha. Also, what about scheming? How do you explain the ongoing chatting for hours every day and she didn't share she's attending a seminar to study in your country or anyway willing to come to Australia to study? Doesn't that count at all? My guess. She threw it on her FB page, and I suppose that she knows/expects you read her FB page. So now she might wait for you to bring up the subject, like hey, I saw you might be coming to Australia to study... and the next natural evolution would be that you offer her to stay at your place. If you want to test her good faith, turn it around to your advantage: hey, I saw on your FB that you're attending (or about to attend, etc) a seminar to study in Australia, when would you be coming? Where will you stay? She then might tell you the name of the city that's probably near where you live or same city, and she'd tell you the date. You can then go on and say: Oh, bummer (or any exclamation you're familiar with), my brother (or sister, friend Peter, etc.) is coming on [insert date] to stay at my place, unfortunately I don't have any other accomodation in my house. Will you be working in the meantime, or did you save enough money to support yourself while studying? Or are your parents covering all the expenses? You bringing up the subject of money early on messed up her initial plan I guess. Anyway, my impression is that - by now - you're already involved and starting to justify behaviors that you wouldn't have initially tolerated. Food for thought. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ohnoo Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Or...accept it for what it is and happily enjoy a sexy young girl in my bed for a few months while she studies... Dude, expand your mind a bit! Yes, I want true love, but nothing wrong with this in the meantime... Ok, if that's what you truly want then enjoy...although I think you're already so into her which is tricky. I mean, look at you talking about the future with her. I wonder what will happen after the seminar. Will she still be into you after she got what she wanted? I can see this going great for her but might end badly for you. Just keep your feelings in check and good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 Her music taste blew me away… America, Chicago, Peter Cetera, David Gates…sure as hell not your usual choice for a young girl. If you're familiar with these acts/performers, then how old are you? Best, TMichaels 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 30, 2015 Share Posted July 30, 2015 If you're familiar with these acts/performers, then how old are you? Best, TMichaels This is what I'm wondering too. OP, you mentioned her age but not yours. What's the age gap here? And yes, it sounds like she's just looking for somewhere to live during this study program. I know you're imaging a sexed-up scenario, but be aware that she might not want to have sex with you at all once she arrives. And then where would you be? A man stuck with a young girl in his house. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 This is what I'm wondering too. OP, you mentioned her age but not yours. What's the age gap here? Based on his picture, I'd guess 50 minimum. And I'm 53, so that's all my music. OP, what happened to 'last OLD date' - bowling girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted July 31, 2015 Author Share Posted July 31, 2015 Based on his picture, I'd guess 50 minimum. And I'm 53, so that's all my music. OP, what happened to 'last OLD date' - bowling girl? May never returned calls or replied to texts...I have no idea why...so I gave up. I did ask her about the seminar... Her reply was a curt: "My friend ask me to like that" To which I answered: "aww, I thought you might want to come here for study" "I do plan to study but not in Australia, I think it's too expensive" And I left that hanging...she never mentioned it again... Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 If you're familiar with these acts/performers, then how old are you? I think she listens to that stuff because someone introduced her to them... aka another older guy. It's not the kind of stuff you happen to listen by chance... So this leads me to think that she's not new to chatting up older guys. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted July 31, 2015 Share Posted July 31, 2015 Based on his picture, I'd guess 50 minimum. Funny. I'd say 47 or 48. Link to post Share on other sites
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