minimus Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Hey everybody, so my girlfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. We love each other and we get along really well. But last week she left to South America where she will be staying with family until the beginning of September. If im being honest, this is starting to feel alot harder than I originally thought. I didnt fully realize just how close we were until she left. Now, weve talked on the phone every day since she left and we message each other every chance we get. But it just doesnt feel right. I mean I understand thats an issue with every LDR, but at the same time, Im really worried that the lack of intimacy (nonsexual) that comes with phone and video calls being the main source of contact is going to cause us to drift apart. Im worried that when she finally does come back, we may not be the same as we were before she left. And thats my ultimate fear. So do you guys have tips on how to maintain the closeness that we have until she finally comes back to the US this fall? Any help would be much appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
isRaven Posted May 22, 2015 Share Posted May 22, 2015 Seriously? You won't meet her for ONLY around 3,5 months and you're worried? Many couples get separated for months, years, even after they're married and have kids, but they still go on. I know everyone isn't the same, but to think of it... are you sure you really love her if you want to give up that easily? So do you guys have tips on how to maintain the closeness that we have until she finally comes back to the US this fall? You already know the answer: phone and video calls. You should be thankful. Before we have internet and stuff, people wrote letters for their beloved ones and they would write back after 2 weeks or even a month. Don't lose. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author minimus Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 I know everyone isn't the same, but to think of it... are you sure you really love her if you want to give up that easily Thanks for your response. But just to clarify, giving up is the absolute last thing I want to do. Just the opposite! I value this relationship so much and want to make sure I'm doing everything in my power to keeps things as amazing as they have been since we've been together Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Well, yes, there will be a degree of 'less intimacy' (both sexual and non-sexual) when you aren't together IRL - that is a given. However the majority of long-term couples eventually do go through a period of 'less intimacy' for various reasons - traveling/LDR, illness, difficult family/financial/job situation, etc. My thoughts on this is that if a couple cannot withstand even a few months of the 'lows', the 'highs' in a R are pretty meaningless (assuming one is looking for a long-term R and not some quick enjoyment). So, do your best to maintain contact and talk to each other via Skype and send each other the occasional gift or card - but also understand that if it was meant to be, it would withstand a few months of distance. It really will. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
okc85 Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 (edited) Hey everybody, so my girlfriend and I have been together for about 9 months. We love each other and we get along really well. But last week she left to South America where she will be staying with family until the beginning of September. If im being honest, this is starting to feel alot harder than I originally thought. I didnt fully realize just how close we were until she left. Now, weve talked on the phone every day since she left and we message each other every chance we get. But it just doesnt feel right. I mean I understand thats an issue with every LDR, but at the same time, Im really worried that the lack of intimacy (nonsexual) that comes with phone and video calls being the main source of contact is going to cause us to drift apart. Im worried that when she finally does come back, we may not be the same as we were before she left. And thats my ultimate fear. So do you guys have tips on how to maintain the closeness that we have until she finally comes back to the US this fall? Any help would be much appreciated Can you visit her in the summer? 4 months is a long time without sex, for sure, (don't listen to the people telling you that you don't love her because you miss the intimacy, lol. We are merely humans, after all) If you two are a good match, you'll pick up where you left off in September. You just need to be patient, or try to visit her in the summer. That's my advice. Good luck Edited May 24, 2015 by okc85 typo Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 hmmm... does make ya wonder when a guy is off on a military duty, how his family survives. ? Chances are they do mighty fine. how would you think ppl with families or loved ones endure til their return? Link to post Share on other sites
Manchester45 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 hmmm... does make ya wonder when a guy is off on a military duty, how his family survives. ? Chances are they do mighty fine. how would you think ppl with families or loved ones endure til their return? You can not compare a miltary guy with a family to a boyfriend/girlfriend situation. The difference is the commitment and bond of the military guy who has a family (married with kids). A bf/gf in ldr can go either way, it can break easily if there is no trust. Walking away is more easy for the latter. Link to post Share on other sites
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