Keeping a Mexican woman interested.

[jsm789]

Hi friends!

 

I recently met a Mexican woman, who lives in Mexico, on a dating site. We are hitting it off really well. She seems to be much different, in a good way, then anybody I have ever had interest in. I spent the last two years being single, having fun, not giving my heart to anyone. I had been cheated on so much and lied to that I gave up. This one gives me a vibe that the others didn't. It's exciting and I forgot what it was like to feel this way. I want to try my hardest to make this work.

 

We have plans for me to visit her in 3 months. She lives in Cabo San Lucas and has a son. If it worked out and we still had the same feelings a year down the road I could easily marry her and bring her home to America. I know all the rules about dating American women. I don't know all the rules about dating Mexican woman, though. During this initial and long distance phase, would it be smart for me to be in contact everyday? Should I have a few off days? Should I let her message me first or should I try and make a balance off who makes initial contact? I guess my biggest fear is that so much talking may kill the attraction in that 3 month window before we are together in person. I know when we are in person, I will show her the greatest and romantic date of her life. It's all about keeping this thing moving until we can get together in person. That's when the real magic will happen.

 

Any tips on keeping the attraction lasting long enough?

[d0nnivain]

Don't get too invested in this until you meet. Even if things are fantastic you will still have immigration issues to overcome. There is not guarantee that things will be good IRL. Right now this is barely more than a fantasy.

 

Keep chatting but move to phone then facetime / Skype as soon as practical. Don't forget snail mail but do not send expensive gifts or money until after you meet in person.

[Tayla]

let her steal your heart in america, down there they steal your being and hold ya for ransom! yikes!!

 

seriously, welcome to the board and we look forward to your contributing words. Be well!

[carhill]

I don't know all the rules about dating Mexican woman, though. During this initial and long distance phase, would it be smart for me to be in contact everyday?

Each woman is different; however, generally, such long distance contacts should be focused on real life, either you visiting or she visiting and meeting up and seeing if attraction and chemistry are mutual. I'd probably not do daily contact or, if so, nothing extended. Why? Easy to burn out without pressing flesh and/or become inappropriately invested

Should I have a few off days? Should I let her message me first or should I try and make a balance off who makes initial contact?

IMO, yes on both counts

I guess my biggest fear is that so much talking may kill the attraction in that 3 month window before we are together in person.

In today's environment, 3 months is probably too long.

I know when we are in person, I will show her the greatest and romantic date of her life. It's all about keeping this thing moving until we can get together in person. That's when the real magic will happen.

While admirable, and I remember feeling similar when a young man, beware of investing inappropriately. Also, continue to meet and greet local ladies as found. In reality, you know nothing of her circumstances, only what she's told you and all of it is unverifiable.

 

If you're traveling, look at it as a vacation with a possible friend to enjoy time with. That way, if things change (happens!), there's always a plan B.

 

My international dating experience spanned about 3 years and took me to Eastern and Western Europe. The overriding takeaway was meet in person as soon as practical, always have a planB and guard against inappropriate investment. Romance will take care of itself. Good luck!

[OnlyHonesty]

You have a lot to learn. You are rushing into things too quickly. She seems different than the rest? How do you know? There hasn't been enough time.

 

If you knew anything about marriage, the courts, the bias laws and the risks to a man, you would not even consider it. I suggest you start thinking with logic and your mind, not with your desire.

 

You should also ask yourself why the father is no longer in the picture.

Edited March 28, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Irrelevant content redacted

[jsm789]

Don't get too invested in this until you meet. Even if things are fantastic you will still have immigration issues to overcome. There is not guarantee that things will be good IRL. Right now this is barely more than a fantasy.

 

Keep chatting but move to phone then facetime / Skype as soon as practical. Don't forget snail mail but do not send expensive gifts or money until after you meet in person.

 

I totally agree. I think my kryptonite is Latina women. I am the smartest guy with any other type of women but with Latina women I lower my guard too much too fast, lol. You are right. It really is a fantasy. Something I hope happens but something that could crumble by tomorrow, with the blink of an eye. I will keep proceeding but with low expectations.

 

let her steal your heart in america, down there they steal your being and hold ya for ransom! yikes!!

 

seriously, welcome to the board and we look forward to your contributing words. Be well!

 

Thanks for the welcome! I appreciate it!

 

Carhill - I agree with all you are saying. She lives in Baja California which means if things don't work out I can catch a bus up to Tijuana, have some fun, then head to San Diego. I always am sure to have a plan B. I honestly hate texting back and forth a lot with any woman. I know that texting is meant for setting up dates. That's why I have always had trouble with LDRs. too much room for boredom, and misunderstood messages that can cause trouble. I absolutely am going to keep trying to connect with women around me.

 

You have a lot to learn. You are rushing into things too quickly. She seems different than the rest? How do you know? There hasn't been enough time.

 

If you knew anything about marriage, the courts, the bias laws and the risks to a man, you would not even consider it. I suggest you start thinking with logic and your mind, not with your desire.

 

You should also ask yourself why the father is no longer in the picture.

 

You are right. I don't know anything about her. I haven't fallen for any woman in the last 2 or 3 years. It's because I learned that some of the ones that seem the best end up being absolutely terrible-hearted. I'm just letting down my guard because my love of Latinas. I'm going to have to tighten up my ship and keep myself guarded on this one. The father thing is a good point to. I haven't asked her that yet. That will come later on.