love1336x Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 I live in NY, and my girlfriend lives in North Dakota. She's in the Airforce. I work in retail. She has come here once to see me, and expect to see me in June where she lives. Now I can't afford to see her in June. I told her July so I can saved up. She wants me to spend a week there. If I don't work I don't make any money. On like her who makes salary. She's has plenty of vacation time. Now she's is angry with me. I think it's so unfair. What takes me a month to make takes her literally a week. She has paid for our vacation back in January. Plus when she came here spent another 1200 dollars on plane tickets and hotel room. I feel like she's testing me to see if I'm a gold digger. I am basically failing at it HARD. I simply can't go a week without paid then 600 dollars round trip to where she's live. She has not ask to help either she like, "Come up with the money, or don't see me simple as that." I would liked at least 100 bucks. I have to paid for parking as well at the airport. Nobody will drive me there... Blah. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
D-Fens Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 If I paid for a vacation for my partner and me, and then paid to visit him, there is no way he would expect me to pay for his visit to me too, regardless of how much money we each make. My ex would expected it, though. That's why he's my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Fens Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 ...that I WOULD pay. I would pay happily. Just not if I felt it was expected. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 If you don't have the pennies in the bank you can't spend them... If she has a problem with that then I am afraid she is not the one for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Maybe get a job that actually pays good? You get out of a relationship what you put into it.. And yes if you're too broke to see her, that's a problem and its not her fault. Also having been in the Airforce, it doesn't pay THAT good, unless she's a Senior NCO or a Commisioned Officer, then it pays OKAY.... Do you work at Walmart? lol. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 If you work in retail, you can move to North Dakota and find a similar job. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 (edited) 1) You're selfish - Your GF had to pay for the entire vacation in January, and then another $1200 in airfare and hotel coming out to see you the next time you got together. 2) You lack ambition- You're settling for a crappy low paying retail job. 3) You most likely live with your folks - I mean why else would she have to pay for a hotel? To be honest, you should be lucky to even have a woman in your life. But come on man, you're in a LDR. It never occurred to you that there would be travel expenses? I think anyone in your GF's situation would be upset. It's time for you to put some money and effort in for a change. I mean you can't just sit back and allow your GF to foot all the expenses and do all the work. Edited March 26, 2015 by fitnessfan365 4 Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 If you work in retail, you can move to North Dakota and find a similar job. There are a few areas in North Dakota IIRC that pay extremely well even for McDonalds workers. Lol. Something like $15/hr. 1) You're selfish - Your GF had to pay for the entire vacation in January, and then another $1200 in airfare and hotel coming out to see you the next time you got together. 2) You lack ambition- You're settling for a crappy low paying retail job. 3) You most likely live with your folks - I mean why else would she have to pay for a hotel? To be honest, you should be lucky to even have a woman in your life. But come on man, you're in a LDR. It never occurred to you that there would be travel expenses? I think anyone in your GF's situation would be upset. It's time for you to put some money and effort in for a change. I mean you can't just sit back and allow your GF to foot all the expenses and do all the work. Couldn't have said it better... OP has a girlfriend who is persevering in the Air Force, and he's working a dead end retail job... Quite the odd match! Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 She has come here once to see me, and expect to see me in June where she lives. She has paid for our vacation back in January. Plus when she came here spent another 1200 dollars on plane tickets and hotel room. She has not ask to help either she like, "Come up with the money, or don't see me simple as that." I would liked at least 100 bucks. I have to paid for parking as well at the airport. Nobody will drive me there... Blah. [/b] You're swimming out of your depth with her. What I'm reading is that she has already shelled out a bunch of money accommodating you and you're mad at her because you're working a job that doesn't pay you enough to take paid vacations? Two visits and a vacation she paid for. I'm not seeing why she should give you $100---why can't you get a second job and save that? Take the subway/cab to the airport or the super shuttle. You're not in a position to be in a LDR with anyone. You need to get solvent--that means finding a better paying job or a second and/or third job to amass your "mad money" that you spend on such things as traveling. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 The main thing I want confirmed is if the OP still lives with his folks. Since his GF actually had to pay for a hotel when she came to NY, I'm assuming that's the case. "My folks wouldn't like hearing us through the basement walls so you'll have to get a hotel so we can have a place to have sex". :laugh::laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
haribogumsnickers Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Join the air force. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Join the air force. That's what I did when I was working a dead end retail job Best decision I ever made. http://militaryhumor.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/military-humor-join-the-army-they-said.jpg I had one that said air force >_> close enough though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 >>"I feel like she's testing me to see if I'm a golddigger."<< --------------- Haha....that's a new one. A girl testing a guy to see if HE is a golddigger? Or is this a lesbian relationship? Not judging at all, it's fine if that's the case. But knowing that might be helpful in advising you here. Link to post Share on other sites
SawtoothMars Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 I just wonder if comments here would be different if OP was female. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 I just wonder if comments here would be different if OP was female. Read my above post. He (she?) very well could be! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Read my above post. He (she?) very well could be! Hahaha.. Well "he" is acting rather feminine in behavior expecting the girlfriend to do everything and foot the bill. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 Hahaha.. Well "he" is acting rather feminine in behavior expecting the girlfriend to do everything and foot the bill. Yeah my guess is this is lesbian relationship. Look at her avatar! Is that really the avatar a man would display? Again, I have absolutely no issue if this is lesbian relationship. And I doubt anyone else here would either. So OP, if it is, please come back and clarify ... it would be helpful knowing that as the female/female dynamic is quite different from the male/female dynamic. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 By the way, I just checked her profile. She is, in fact, female. So there ya go..... Link to post Share on other sites
D-Fens Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 I just wonder if comments here would be different if OP was female. OP IS female. As am I. And my reply would have been the same if OP was male. Nobody should be EXPECTED to pay for everything, not because of their sex and not because they work hard and make decent money. Especially the relationship is only at the stage of dating and not living together...only reasons one person should pay for everything is if their partner is a SAHP looking after the kids they have together or if their partner is disabled. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 I think this is just compatibility issues. One earns money and is prepared to spend it. The other doesn't and doesn't want to. Ergo relationship over. I don't think anyone should be goaded into doing something that they simply can not afford. If she doesn't want to step up and get a better paid job etc then thats the way she is and these two just are not going to get along... Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 No, she should not pay. She is your girlfriend, not your parents, nor an ATM. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 (edited) Guys, if you know anything about lesbian relationships, there is still a "masculine" and "feminine" dynamic/energy at play. If I had to take a wild guess ...it would be the OP is the feminine energy and her girlfriend is the masculine energy. So that said, her girlfriend (the male energy,) makes more money. A lot more money. She came to visit the OP first, as we often advise MEN in this same situation to do. Now she wants her girlfriend (the "female" energy) to visit her. Fair enough. Problem is, the OP won't have the money until July....but her girlfriend (the male energy) wants her to come in June, and is upset the OP can't do that. As again she WON'T have the money saved to go until JULY! So what's the solution? Fitnessfan what would you do in this situation? Bitch and moan that your girlfriend can't come until July because she doesn't have the money saved yet? Or chip in a measley $100 (which is all the OP needs) so she can come when YOU want??? Keep in mind, you make a lot more money than she does. Think about it.... :) Edited March 26, 2015 by katiegrl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 So what's the solution? Fitnessfan what would you do in this situation? Bitch and moan that your girlfriend can't come until July because she doesn't have the money saved yet? Or chip in a measley $100 (which is all she needs) so she can come when YOU want??? Think about it.... :) Hahahahaha... Such a damn feisty smart ass. But you should know enough about me by now that I'd never be in that situation. Why? I would never be in a LDR. The reason why the OP bugs me, is she seems like she has a sense of entitlement. In the end, we're all responsible for our own actions and choices. If she can't afford to travel, she shouldn't be in a LDR and it's not right for her to sponge off her GF. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 So have we established the OP is a female? Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted March 26, 2015 Share Posted March 26, 2015 I would liked at least 100 bucks. I have to paid for parking as well at the airport. Nobody will drive me there... Blah. This just screams entitlement. This is why I say that the OP's girlfriend shouldn't pay. It's ridiculous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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