JohnGoober Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Hello all! I'll try to keep this post as brief as possible. I'm a 23 year old engineering graduate and I come from a traditional Indian family. My parents are quite orthodox and has no belief in long distance relationships or dating. I guess I'm a very open-minded person and I met my SO a year ago. We were friends for 6 months before we got into a relationship. I believe it's time I meet her in person and see how it goes. I have talked to her on video several times and her friends and family know about me and she said I don't have to worry about anything. But the problem is, I don't know if my parents would agree to let me travel all alone to a different country as I've never traveled alone by myself. What bothers me is they still treat me like a child and thinks I can't take care of myself and because of this, I still feel immature and like a child. My parents know me quite well and they wouldn't be surprised if they find out I'm dating a girl from another country. I'm not close with my parents though. I don't know how they'd react if I tell them I want to travel to another country to visit a friend. I don't have the courage to ask their permission and I don't know how or what to tell them about this. Also, one more question..She's going to send me an invite letter from her University. Would that help me getting a visa? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Hello all! I'll try to keep this post as brief as possible. I'm a 23 year old engineering graduate and I come from a traditional Indian family. My parents are quite orthodox and has no belief in long distance relationships or dating. I guess I'm a very open-minded person and I met my SO a year ago. We were friends for 6 months before we got into a relationship. I believe it's time I meet her in person and see how it goes. I have talked to her on video several times and her friends and family know about me and she said I don't have to worry about anything. But the problem is, I don't know if my parents would agree to let me travel all alone to a different country as I've never traveled alone by myself. What bothers me is they still treat me like a child and thinks I can't take care of myself and because of this, I still feel immature and like a child. My parents know me quite well and they wouldn't be surprised if they find out I'm dating a girl from another country. I'm not close with my parents though. I don't know how they'd react if I tell them I want to travel to another country to visit a friend. I don't have the courage to ask their permission and I don't know how or what to tell them about this. Also, one more question..She's going to send me an invite letter from her University. Would that help me getting a visa? I'll address this first. How in the world does she expect to get a letter of invitation if you've not enrolled or paid tuition fees? Most universities require at least that before they'll even consider issuing the letter. If you haven't actually registered and paid some tuition fees, you can forget about the letter. If you get the letter, then yes, it can help with the visa process but it's not the only step you must take. I'm speaking from experience as I live in a different country (Italy, could you guess?!) and have navigated my way through countless bureaucratic channels to obtain valid visa and work permits. Much of this depends on nationality too - what is your home country, and where is she? You need to visit the nearest embassy or consulate of her country to get the information you'll need to apply for any type of visa. To get to the point of the question: at 23, you do not need your parents' permission to travel. If you have the means and motivation, you are free to go where you please. Having said that, you understandably want your parents' blessing and support. I think you have to sit down with them and have an honest conversation about your intentions and their concerns. They might not be open to hearing this. If that's the case, you'll have to decide if traveling to meet this girl is worth creating conflict with your parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnGoober Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 I'll address this first. How in the world does she expect to get a letter of invitation if you've not enrolled or paid tuition fees? Most universities require at least that before they'll even consider issuing the letter. If you haven't actually registered and paid some tuition fees, you can forget about the letter. If you get the letter, then yes, it can help with the visa process but it's not the only step you must take. I'm speaking from experience as I live in a different country (Italy, could you guess?!) and have navigated my way through countless bureaucratic channels to obtain valid visa and work permits. Much of this depends on nationality too - what is your home country, and where is she? You need to visit the nearest embassy or consulate of her country to get the information you'll need to apply for any type of visa. To get to the point of the question: at 23, you do not need your parents' permission to travel. If you have the means and motivation, you are free to go where you please. Having said that, you understandably want your parents' blessing and support. I think you have to sit down with them and have an honest conversation about your intentions and their concerns. They might not be open to hearing this. If that's the case, you'll have to decide if traveling to meet this girl is worth creating conflict with your parents. It's just a letter stating... " Person X is visiting person Y and the person who's inviting me is studying in that university. " I don't know how to tell you.. the university authorizes or grants permission for the visit. She said one of her family friend visited her before using the letter. Once I get the letter, I'm gonna apply for the visa. I'm from India. This is my first time traveling solo so I don't have much idea regarding the visa process. Yes, I believe I have the means and motivation but I guess I still need a bit of support from my parents and mainly, their permission. I respect my parents words and I hope they respect mine as well as I have no bad intentions. I guess my parents a bit narrow minded and judgmental and maybe overprotective. They still treat me like a child which I hate. Hence, I'm not gonna tell them my main intention is to visit her instead, i'll tell the visit for educational reasons. Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Yes, I believe I have the means and motivation but I guess I still need a bit of support from my parents and mainly This, I respect my parents words and I hope they respect mine as well as I have no bad intentions. this, I guess my parents [...]maybe overprotective. They still treat me like a child which I hate. ... and this what you should tell them. You'll find the right words, they're your parents. Put as much sugar and cream on it as necessary, but in the end you have to live your life, and you will have to live with your choices. They can't live your life for you, thus you decide in the end. Otherwise everybody will be unhappy in the end. Tell them their opinion is welcome, but that's as far as it goes. Their decisions are not welcome anymore. It's your decision. Hence, I'm not gonna tell them my main intention is to visit her instead, i'll tell the visit for educational reasons. It's one way of action. It's just that lies make your life difficult as you have to keep track of whom you told what lie, and how to keep it plausible. But obviously you could white wash your lie right after you return by saying you fell in love with a girl you me there. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I don't know much about immigration but are tourist visas really all that hard to get? I read on the US Dept of State website that you need to make an appointment 6 days in advance in Mumbai I never understood that you had to explain who you were coming to see. So I don't think the letter will have an impact. As for your parents, show them a plan, use logic, & be able to pay your own way. That should be enough to convince them. Link to post Share on other sites
CrystalShine2011 Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Where must you travel to meet her? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 I'm a 23 year old engineering graduate Is there anything related to engineering in your friend's university? Or some course that could be useful to you in your profession? Even a simple course of English would be fine, I guess. I come from a traditional Indian family. My parents are quite orthodox Are they the type who want to stick to prearranged marriage? Have they chosen someone for you already? I met my SO a year ago. I'm not sure, but you shouldn't call her your "significant other". That's some big thing. You met her online only, never for real. So put things in perspective, no matter how into her you think you are. I believe it's time I meet her in person and see how it goes. Quite reasonable, surely wise. I have talked to her on video several times and her friends and family know about me and she said I don't have to worry about anything. Is she Indian? Where is she? USA? I don't know if my parents would agree to let me travel all alone to a different country as I've never traveled alone by myself. [...] I'm not close with my parents though. So, I guess you live far from your parents, or anyway not in the same household. How would they know that you went abroad? I don't get it. Also, why would they even worry when you already live on your own? How far from them do you live? they still treat me like a child and thinks I can't take care of myself and because of this, I still feel immature and like a child. That's just as long as you allow that. Ultimately, it depends on you. If you're old enough to be an engineer and design buildings or other big works, then you're definitely old enough to stand for yourself, get on a plane and meet a girl. My parents know me quite well and they wouldn't be surprised if they find out I'm dating a girl from another country. So they wouldn't make a big deal of it? No matter what her descent is? So you're free. Carpe diem. I don't know how they'd react if I tell them I want to travel to another country to visit a friend. I don't have the courage to ask their permission and I don't know how or what to tell them about this. Don't ask for their permission. This is a non problem. She's going to send me an invite letter from her University. Would that help me getting a visa? I happened to write an invite letter for a group of Indians, so that they could come to my country and attend a 2-week training course. Everything went as smooth as it could go. The letter had to be sent to the embassy in Mumbai (in that case). My company had reserved a couple of apartments for them and they stayed for two weeks. So I think that's your best chance. I would not go the other route, because you're not family. So really, your best chance is to enroll in some course at that university or some school nearby and get an invitation from them where they state you'll attend the course. With that, you shouldn't have any problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnGoober Posted March 2, 2015 Author Share Posted March 2, 2015 To answer your questions justwhoiam, 1. No, there aren't any courses like that and secondly, I don't have that much time either. I'm just gonna stay there for a week. 2. My parents are traditional but they're not the type to prearrange my marriage or force me to one. I've talked to them about it already. 3. She's not Indian. She's from Melbourne. 4. I live with my parents but I'll be moving out abroad next year. My parents are quite busy with work most of the time so we hardly talk. 5. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 2, 2015 Share Posted March 2, 2015 Hi John, I guess you wanted to write more? So it seems. Please check your post. So, the first thing you should do is: gather information about vaccines and other things that are required for citizens of your country to go to Australia. For the rest, I guess my post is still valid. Your parents seem to be reasonable people. You shouldn't have any problem. I still think that a course is your best option. If I were you, I'd look into that. You should be able to attend a course that won't take up much time (maybe 2 hours a day?). If you visit a girl for romantic purposes, you'll raise suspicions I guess, and if you say she's just a friend, they'll probably ask more and more questions. Last week I watched this show on tv: Airport Security. The episode was in an Australian airport, and several foreigners were sent back to their countries, because they lied about their reasons for travel. They tried to enter the country with a tourist visa. I had the impression they're overly strict with their laws and policies, like in the USA, especially with people coming from Asian countries. That's based on what I saw on this reality show. Don't bring food, because that can be a nightmare. And if you do, declare it, otherwise you'll cry your eyes out (fines are very very expensive and can cost you more than the whole intercontinental trip). Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnGoober Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Hi John, I guess you wanted to write more? So it seems. Please check your post. So, the first thing you should do is: gather information about vaccines and other things that are required for citizens of your country to go to Australia. For the rest, I guess my post is still valid. Your parents seem to be reasonable people. You shouldn't have any problem. I still think that a course is your best option. If I were you, I'd look into that. You should be able to attend a course that won't take up much time (maybe 2 hours a day?). If you visit a girl for romantic purposes, you'll raise suspicions I guess, and if you say she's just a friend, they'll probably ask more and more questions. Last week I watched this show on tv: Airport Security. The episode was in an Australian airport, and several foreigners were sent back to their countries, because they lied about their reasons for travel. They tried to enter the country with a tourist visa. I had the impression they're overly strict with their laws and policies, like in the USA, especially with people coming from Asian countries. That's based on what I saw on this reality show. I'll be stating my purpose is to visit a friend. If I tell them I'm visiting a friend, do I require her ID or the letter is enough? basically, the letter goes like this "Hello..I'm inviting my friend John for a 5 day visit and I'll be taking care of him ( not money wise ). " Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Instead of fiddle-farting around and asking complete strangers what you need to do to get a visa, why aren't you checking out what the Australian government says is required? Quit wasting your time and get the facts by taking a look here. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnGoober Posted March 3, 2015 Author Share Posted March 3, 2015 Instead of fiddle-farting around and asking complete strangers what you need to do to get a visa, why aren't you checking out what the Australian government says is required? Quit wasting your time and get the facts by taking a look here. Best, TMichaels I've done my research and checked everything. Just wanted to get a second opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 I've done my research and checked everything. Just wanted to get a second opinion. There is no second opinion when it comes to visas and bureaucracy. You either follow their instructions or there is no visa. Do you have what you need to apply? If so, get yourself to the nearest Embassy or Consulate! Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted March 3, 2015 Share Posted March 3, 2015 Instead of fiddle-farting around and asking complete strangers what you need to do to get a visa, why aren't you checking out what the Australian government says is required? Quit wasting your time and get the facts by taking a look here. Best, TMichaels "If you are visiting family and friends provide an invitation from your inviter in Australia, evidence of your relationship with the inviter and evidence of your inviter’s passport and status in Australia." For the reasons stated above, I still don't think it's a good idea. You could try the visit for tourism, but expect getting questioned and retained, because you're visiting all alone and coming from India (this is what it is), or you have the simplest route: enrolling in a school. Link to post Share on other sites
TMichaels Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I've done my research and checked everything. Just wanted to get a second opinion. The odds are 99.99% that no one in this forum works for the Australian High Commission. Therefore, a second opinion from a LS member is irrelevant and will do nothing to ensure your successful entry into Australia. Talk to and get advice from the embassy and stop wasting your and others' time. Best, TMichaels Link to post Share on other sites
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