MissKarissa Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Hey everyone! I've been in a long-distance relationship with a man for a few years now and we have lived geographically apart for quite some time; him in California and me in the Midwest. We seem to have a very strong relationship despite the distance, and temporarily living far apart was never an issue. I struggle with a stress disorder and although I have managed it well in recent years, I had an episode last week in which I got tired of dealing with all of the stressful things in my life and began lashing out on nearly everybody close to me. I began saying harsh things to him in a text message (not directed towards him, but towards myself if that makes sense) and he decided that we need to take a break so that I can focus on being myself again. He made it completely clear that he wasn't upset or mad at me and we have been texting on and off throughout the week, but only when I initiate the conversation. Normally, he tells me good morning and that he loves me but this has completely stopped. So I'll let some time pass in the day and then say hi to him in the afternoon. We will text for a good bit, and then he just leaves me hanging without a "goodnight" or any indication that he won't be texting anymore that day. He is acting relatively normal (ex: says he misses me, loves me, etc.) but is being VERY short. I asked him the other day why he isn't talking much and he claims that it's because he's "very busy" (although he wasn't too busy to reply to Facebook posts). Is this normal? I almost feel as if he's trying to get rid of me completely. I am so used to talking to him a lot throughout the day (hey, it's tough being long distance, so being able to text throughout the day helps a ton) and now it's like he'll say a few things and is done. What do I do? Should I give him space and just stop texting him for now? Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Is it possible that he believes he's being helpful? In that, if he thinks that maybe he has become one of the sources of your stress, then he might think that backing off might relieve that source of stress, and therefore help you. This would be consistent with his stated intention that "you can focus on being yourself again." I don't know if I'm even convinced of this, but I just wanted to toss it out there as a possibility. I suppose it's also possible that your stress has become a source of stress for him, and that he is preserving himself by withdrawing. Again, not saying I'm sure of this, nor that I necessarily agree, but just tossing out ideas. Is it "normal"? I don't know if there is a "normal" in a case like this. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Tell him you didn't mean any of the things you said............. and that you want him back etc. Don't just consider your own feelings. Men hardly talk about them, but they have feelings too and they count as much as yours. You messed up, now you should fix it. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 He told you he needed space, so that's why he's been less involved in your life the last few days. He apparently meant it. What I am not clear on is whether he wants to continue the relationship. It evidently isn't working for him at the moment, but you can't continue this way forever either. I'd step back for a few days. Clear your head and ask yourself if this is right for you. Then discuss it with him. Staying on a prolonged "break" isn't going to end well. Link to post Share on other sites
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