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Share your first meet up stories? When to book flight tickets & etc?


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So it's few weeks more to 2015 & i'm gonna meet my LDR boyfriend for the first time early next year! Anyone care to share their story?

 

I'm excited but also scared! I'm afraid that there wouldn't be any chemistry or he won't like how i am but i'm not letting fear contain me now :)

Plane tickets & accommodation haven't been booked yet but he will be visiting me on my birthday.

How early before the trip should we book the tickets & start planning?

 

He told me he is still saving up more for his tickets and travelling expenses (which mostly will come from his salary bonus) before he would book the tickets. Sometimes i feel i am more excited than him but i understand that girls tend to worry more. Advice would be welcomed :)

 

Thank you in advance to everyone!

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Is this an international flight and are you meeting up in January?

 

If the answer to both is yes, IMO he should book the ticket ASAP and save up for expenses later (you could also help contribute to expenses). International flight tickets tend to get MUCH more expensive as the time draws near. Yes occasionally you could save some money by buying at the last minute or a random discount deal, but that's really a huge coin flip and is best saved for holidays where it is 'okay' if things turn out badly and you can't go. Not a good idea for first meetings, especially when you have been waiting for over a year...

 

Planning the actual trip can wait for closer to the date, though if it is a peak time (close to new year's day) then booking accommodation ahead of time is also recommended.

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Is this an international flight and are you meeting up in January?

 

If the answer to both is yes, IMO he should book the ticket ASAP and save up for expenses later (you could also help contribute to expenses). International flight tickets tend to get MUCH more expensive as the time draws near. Yes occasionally you could save some money by buying at the last minute or a random discount deal, but that's really a huge coin flip and is best saved for holidays where it is 'okay' if things turn out badly and you can't go. Not a good idea for first meetings, especially when you have been waiting for over a year...

 

Planning the actual trip can wait for closer to the date, though if it is a peak time (close to new year's day) then booking accommodation ahead of time is also recommended.

 

Sadly not January but March so i guess we still have some time. It's a international flight from US to EU. I'll be providing his transport/food allowance as he will only be in my city for 1 week :)

 

Is it okay if we waited till end of January? That's when he will get his bonus. Well but anytime time seems to be moving really fast & i'm excited!

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I agree with Elswyth. The sooner, the cheaper (this is my experience in 3.5 years).

 

What country/city in Europe? There might be holidays in March.

March might be low season, but it greatly depends on your destination.

 

I guess being a bit scared is healthy. Things might not turn out as expected, and at times - BIG WARNING - it might feel great while you're there, just to see communication dropping when you're back and everything fizzles out. So just know that all that might happen, and be careful. It's like a first date. Treat it for what it is. Don't give all yourself right there and then to have your heart broken. Be wise.

 

How long will you be spending with him? I would want to be sure about him before jumping to sex, and probably wait for the next visit.

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I agree with Elswyth. The sooner, the cheaper (this is my experience in 3.5 years).

 

What country/city in Europe? There might be holidays in March.

March might be low season, but it greatly depends on your destination.

 

I guess being a bit scared is healthy. Things might not turn out as expected, and at times - BIG WARNING - it might feel great while you're there, just to see communication dropping when you're back and everything fizzles out. So just know that all that might happen, and be careful. It's like a first date. Treat it for what it is. Don't give all yourself right there and then to have your heart broken. Be wise.

 

How long will you be spending with him? I would want to be sure about him before jumping to sex, and probably wait for the next visit.

 

I've checked, march is a low season here :) The only problem is he needs to wait till he gets his salary bonus first.

 

Yeah i guess that's my main worry that it will just fizzles out after he goes back. But i'm just wondering, wouldn't our relationship be stronger after meeting up? We have been talking online for a year & basically know each other bad habits as well. But i'm still cautious about everything.

 

We will be spending a week together and no, i'm not gonna jump into sex. We both are more reserved as well. If it goes well, i'll visit him later in the year.

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wouldn't our relationship be stronger after meeting up?

There is no way to know unless you have a good psychic. If things go well, who will move where? You do know that you will have to marry unless one of you has a job that is approved by immigration for the country you will move to.

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I once entered into a relationship with a girl I had never met before. Sounds crazy, and I still can't believe I did it, but eventually the day came when we decided to meet up. At this point, all we knew about each other, physically, was what we had seen in pictures, and I even uploaded a video of myself driving my Mach 1, to show her I was real, and not some creep.

 

One night, I pulled into town, where she lived. It was a long drive. We chose a very public place to meet, and I pulled into the parking lot. At this point, a lot of people probably get disappointed. The person they might be meeting, turns out to look different face to face, and not what they were expecting. But when I got out of my car, walked over to her, I was floored. At that particular time, in 2011, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and I leaned in and kissed her. We stayed together for a while, but eventually, as the relationship went on, some things happened, and we realized we weren't right for each other.

 

But that night I met her, I completely lost any argument I had about people who start relationships online. It can work, and does work. And as of this post, it was the most meaningful relationship I have ever been in. So good luck to OP, and anyone else who is nervous about meeting someone who lives far away. I wouldn't trade my memories from my LDR for the world, and they really have shaped who I am today, in regards to dating.

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I've checked, march is a low season here :) The only problem is he needs to wait till he gets his salary bonus first.

 

If he absolutely cannot afford the tickets without the bonus then there is no choice but to wait. If he can, he will save some money by buying them now, though buying in Jan will hopefully still be okay.

 

Yeah i guess that's my main worry that it will just fizzles out after he goes back. But i'm just wondering, wouldn't our relationship be stronger after meeting up? We have been talking online for a year & basically know each other bad habits as well. But i'm still cautious about everything.

Nobody can guarantee you anything - Rs can and do fizzle, not just LDRs. But IF you were meant to be, yes, meeting in person will strengthen it.

 

We will be spending a week together and no, i'm not gonna jump into sex. We both are more reserved as well. If it goes well, i'll visit him later in the year.

Is he going to be staying at your place? Edited by Elswyth
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There is no way to know unless you have a good psychic. If things go well, who will move where? You do know that you will have to marry unless one of you has a job that is approved by immigration for the country you will move to.

 

We had talked about this way early into our r/s as if both feel that it's necessary. I'll move to US and i'm trying the green card lottery now. With my work experience, i could get a job there as i'm kind of counted as a skilled worker. We did say eventually we will get married but we need to be stable enough first, being realistic. I've been in a LDR before this & i know how things work, but it's his first.

 

I once entered into a relationship with a girl I had never met before. Sounds crazy, and I still can't believe I did it, but eventually the day came when we decided to meet up. At this point, all we knew about each other, physically, was what we had seen in pictures, and I even uploaded a video of myself driving my Mach 1, to show her I was real, and not some creep.

 

One night, I pulled into town, where she lived. It was a long drive. We chose a very public place to meet, and I pulled into the parking lot. At this point, a lot of people probably get disappointed. The person they might be meeting, turns out to look different face to face, and not what they were expecting. But when I got out of my car, walked over to her, I was floored. At that particular time, in 2011, she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, and I leaned in and kissed her. We stayed together for a while, but eventually, as the relationship went on, some things happened, and we realized we weren't right for each other.

 

But that night I met her, I completely lost any argument I had about people who start relationships online. It can work, and does work. And as of this post, it was the most meaningful relationship I have ever been in. So good luck to OP, and anyone else who is nervous about meeting someone who lives far away. I wouldn't trade my memories from my LDR for the world, and they really have shaped who I am today, in regards to dating.

 

Wow that's an amazing story you have there :) I guess people who get disappointed, is because they have expectations. I wouldn't even be disappointed if he looks different in real life. We webcam almost everyday, even for 5 mins :) I had a LDR before and we split out due to being too different. I knew right from the start that we ain't suitable but i still choose to "work it out". In the end, we were just too different. But i had already met him once on a holiday trip. It was SO awkward when we met up. I didn't even have those "omg i want to kiss and hug you so badly" feeling. It's more like "um... that's awkward. i don't even want a hug" :/ I don't understand why until we broke up, he's just not my type but i fell for him "online". So i guess we live in fantasy most of the time. We even webcammed and all before meeting but i ignored many red flags. But with this guy, i felt totally different, that's why i'm so nervous!

 

If he absolutely cannot afford the tickets without the bonus then there is no choice but to wait. If he can, he will save some money by buying them now, though buying in Jan will hopefully still be okay.

 

Nobody can guarantee you anything - Rs can and do fizzle, not just LDRs. But IF you were meant to be, yes, meeting in person will strengthen it.

 

Is he going to be staying at your place?

 

We didn't plan that yet but most likely he's staying at a hotel nearby first. And if it goes well, he can come to stay with me :)

I guess we could only wait but hopefully it wouldn't be that expensive. He said he wouldnt mind paying more after he gets his bonus as long as he gets to make it to my birthday.

 

I'm just hoping we will have chemistry like what we have online. But is it weird that we had already reached the "comfortable stage" before meeting? Even if he do something gross, i'll just laugh over it. It just doesn't bother me at all. Even if he smells bad lol

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We all have different experiences though... and I hope yours will go well! The ride down there, to her town, and listening to music, knowing I was about to meet a very special person, all made it more emotionally powerful. I got lucky though, I could have been disappointed, but it turned out to be the real deal. The one thing I always will advise people to remember though, when entering into a relationship, is to make sure you and the other person are on the same page about dating, and what you want. I won't type you a long reply, because I tend to ramble a bit, but I hope everything works out for you, and that you get a similar experience that I did, because it was an awesome thing I got to experience with this LDR girl I knew, and yours will hopefully be even more awesome!!!

 

 

More power to you!

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You can start checking flight rates. And you can even book. There are travel agencies that can book for free and ask for your confirmation in 20/30 days, because they have an advantage on single consumers (then they would charge you like 30 or 40€). And obviously you pay after you confirm. But that would allow you to book a seat and block a cheap rate. Also, there are airline companies that allow you to block a rate and seat for peanuts for a week (ex. United).

 

Good luck

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We didn't plan that yet but most likely he's staying at a hotel nearby first. And if it goes well, he can come to stay with me :)

I guess we could only wait but hopefully it wouldn't be that expensive. He said he wouldnt mind paying more after he gets his bonus as long as he gets to make it to my birthday.

 

That's sweet. :) Yeah, I think it should be fine. Definitely a good idea for him to stay at a hotel first. If you're not planning to have sex on the first meet, be careful about inviting him to stay at your place, as depending on his culture some might view that as an invitation for sex.

 

I'm just hoping we will have chemistry like what we have online. But is it weird that we had already reached the "comfortable stage" before meeting? Even if he do something gross, i'll just laugh over it. It just doesn't bother me at all. Even if he smells bad lol

 

Ah, don't worry about this. :) It will still be exciting and tingle-worthy having them there in person if there is chemistry, I promise! Just don't have excessively high expectations and know that there might be a little bit of awkwardness at first, it isn't necessarily a bad thing.

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I met my boyfriend on World of Warcraft. Silly as it sounds. It was something we both enjoyed and were into. I never thought I would like someone online, or someone I met on the game. But we ended up talking on personal levels. I got to really know him for the person he was. We shared pictures, Skyped, webcammed, talked every single day and played together. We had an online relationship for 8 months before we met in person.

 

I was really nervous before we met. I remember how nervous I was. I was already in love with him, but a lot of thoughts ran in my head. What if he didn't like me in person or what if he's disappointed or what if he doesn't think I'm cute in real life, etc. I was really nervous. Then the second I saw him, I remember thinking in my head, "oh my gosh he's so cute, cute cute cute oh my gosh it's him. Just how I pictured." He had red roses for me, and he hugged and kissed me. I was so happy and nervous, it was a really wonderful time. I had butterflies in my stomach for what seemed like forever.

 

We ended up sitting down and talking, and the butterflies disappeared and I realized it's just the guy I've been talking to for 8 months. There was no need to be nervous. It was the person I was in love with. I was so happy. I couldn't stop looking at him, smiling, kissing him. He ended up telling me I was beautiful in person and I was a bit hard on myself. Meeting him in person was such a happy moment. He stayed for 2 weeks, then went back home and we see each other regularly but still deal with long distance until I move down here. It's been 2 years+ since we met.

 

If you find someone that you like, go for it. Meet them. It can work.

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Hi jenmarie. Did you not ever think what if you don't like him and he is ugly? What if he tried to kiss you and you didn't like him?

 

How come you were only thinking about him not liking you or him being disappointed? What about you?

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Hi jenmarie. Did you not ever think what if you don't like him and he is ugly? What if he tried to kiss you and you didn't like him?

 

How come you were only thinking about him not liking you or him being disappointed? What about you?

 

Honestly, that never really crossed my mind. I guess at the beginning it did, like the first week or so that we started talking online, but eventually I never thought of that. I was just confident that I would really like him, because I loved how we got along so well online and how well we got to know each other. I really liked the person he was, our skype webcam calls got to show me him rather well but I was still worried about myself.

 

It's strange, haha. It is very weird that I had more confidence of liking him rather than him liking me. I can't really explain why, but I worried about it but as we met in real life, the worrying stopped.

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Honestly, that never really crossed my mind. I guess at the beginning it did, like the first week or so that we started talking online, but eventually I never thought of that. I was just confident that I would really like him, because I loved how we got along so well online and how well we got to know each other. I really liked the person he was, our skype webcam calls got to show me him rather well but I was still worried about myself.

 

It's strange, haha. It is very weird that I had more confidence of liking him rather than him liking me. I can't really explain why, but I worried about it but as we met in real life, the worrying stopped.

 

 

hey some quetsions im curious about if you dont mind.

who suggested to speak on webcam or phone calls?

how long from when you were chatting online to speaking on phone or webcam?

and how long till you met up for the first time?

and how was the arrangment for the first time you met up? did you fly there etc? you stay together in a hotel etc?

 

thanx

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fred, don't hijack mariekatie's thread.

 

It's not weird that we trust ourself more than we trust someone we've never met before.

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From my experience international flight should be booked many month's in advance unless you have the cash to spend on expensive last min tickets the price could triple the closer you get to the trip..

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