santaclaus123 Posted November 27, 2014 Share Posted November 27, 2014 hi there...4 months ago i met a girl online and we hit it off straight away, we finally met after 3 weeks and hit it off straight away in person, we were meeting each other every fortnight and then weekly at the weekend and both said we loved each other a month ago, were 1 and half hours away from each other and said we would make a ago of it but all suddenly she went all weird and said she was ''confused about her feelings towards me'' and said she needs time to think and needs space, i sent the why and when and i miss you messages and i got '' please give me space'' and i told her i m sorry fr the messages and il leave it at that.....the thing is we both were and im sure still are madly in love i cant stop thinking bout her and when she did tell me she loved me she said she truly meant it...we get on like we have known each other all our lives and that's the reason im scared i might loose her but i don't kno what to do, we use to talk everyday about anything and everything texting and this happened all of a sudden...anyody have any insight on what to do and does give me spce ever worked in this kind of a relationship Link to post Share on other sites
scubasteve Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Ah the old routine about i need space, please don't communicate with me. I had this happened to me a lot with my ex-ldr. Shes thinking about your relationship, while shes probably talking to another guy behind your back or her ex. Go no communication, meet other girls. Trust me this is what i exactly went through, we said we loved each other, please for the love of god move on, save yourself the heart break please. I wish i had the balls to tell my girl to f**k off when she brought up her ex. Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 It is common to think that only men want to conquer women, and after they do, they lose interest. Well, there are many women who are conqueror, and lose interest after a short while, and turn ahead to the next object. Link to post Share on other sites
Author santaclaus123 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 Thing is im not sure its someone else, maybe it could be but its defo not her ex....does no contact work in this type of relationship. ...the times we had even only recently she said herself she has never felt so close to someone in all her life....I cant accept this over how close we were...she text the that night saying that she is sorry and am I ok...which I replied to im fine and how are you...I dont kno if I should of text her back Link to post Share on other sites
Author santaclaus123 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 If she has lost interest will she ever miss the times we had as there nearly impossible to forget. ...we were like 2 young kids who fell in love only a matter of days ago...holding hands ect....this is very hard to deal with..should I ask is there someone else?? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Who knows what happened? It could be she lost interest, or she's thinking about someone else, or the honeymoon phase was over too soon, or you did something wrong. Also, I think there are two kinds of women, the ones who'll really want to be left alone and the ones who want you to do something about it if you really care. If you take a path and it's the wrong one, I guess you're kinda f--ked. It's like when a woman says "leave me alone!" Have I ever really wanted that when I said that? Uhm, no. I wanted him to make it up to me and go out of his way with that, so that everything could be fine again. Now, that said, is this your case? I have no idea. But probably it's more like scubasteve said. It looks like she lost interest. So I suggest you ignore her and she'll probably get back to you. Let her stew in her own juice. Give it at least a month before you seriously date again or it'll be evident you never loved her. By the way, 1.5 hour-drive is not a LDR! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author santaclaus123 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 Thanks justwhoiam....jus a little more info...only a week ago we were counting down the days till we meet again im totally confused myself as it was very strong....she said firstly to me that recently has nothing much to say to me and that I was always complaining but ive been goin tru stress and she knows that too with a past relationship. ...we both have kids to ex's and both accepted ourseves to each other fully committed. ....do you think that she could be going tru a emotional time and will miss the times we had if I dont talk back to her....I havent been myself ever since she told me also it was in text form should I ask for her to ring me and talk to me or even meet me one more time and say it to my face???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author santaclaus123 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 Ive just asked her to be honest and tell me if theres someone else Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I wouldn't trust texts to handle something like this, or a break up. But it seems to be kinda popular nowadays. At least in some countries more than others. I wouldn't take a break up through a text. And many other women I know wouldn't. It also depends on the emotional level you reached with the other person. If it's just a 3-month relationship, then I guess I could let it go. If it's a 3-year relationship, heck no, a text won't do for me. He needs to tell it to my face. At least talk to me on the phone, or even face to face. As it's almost always the case, men walk on egg shells. I feel for you. They should man up and stick to a plan or go out of their way, but at the same time understand when it's time to let her go and not give a thing anymore. Often times, they mess up. I have no idea if she means what she said or not. It sounds as if you had become unbearable with your nagging or for whatever reason. At times people vent with the same person over and over again, instead of using a buddy for that, and in the long run it ruins the relationship. If I were you, I would find a way to let her know that: 1) I love her so much like no other 2) she's losing something invaluable How... you need to think for yourself. Something overt but discreet. First of all you need to say sorry and crawl. And then profess all your love to her. You get the ball rolling. Then it's up to her. You give it a month. Then move on without looking back. And if she comes back you, let her wait a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author santaclaus123 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 I wouldn't trust texts to handle something like this, or a break up. But it seems to be kinda popular nowadays. At least in some countries more than others. I wouldn't take a break up through a text. And many other women I know wouldn't. It also depends on the emotional level you reached with the other person. If it's just a 3-month relationship, then I guess I could let it go. If it's a 3-year relationship, heck no, a text won't do for me. He needs to tell it to my face. At least talk to me on the phone, or even face to face. As it's almost always the case, men walk on egg shells. I feel for you. They should man up and stick to a plan or go out of their way, but at the same time understand when it's time to let her go and not give a thing anymore. Often times, they mess up. I have no idea if she means what she said or not. It sounds as if you had become unbearable with your nagging or for whatever reason. At times people vent with the same person over and over again, instead of using a buddy for that, and in the long run it ruins the relationship. If I were you, I would find a way to let her know that: 1) I love her so much like no other 2) she's losing something invaluable How... you need to think for yourself. Something overt but discreet. First of all you need to say sorry and crawl. And then profess all your love to her. You get the ball rolling. Then it's up to her. You give it a month. Then move on without looking back. And if she comes back you, let her wait a bit. ok i sent her a maessage asking was there someone else and she replied no and i believe her as i kno its not the case...i waited a few hours and asked could i give her a call later on this evening for a chat as most and all of this stuff was spoken over text form and i dont like it...she replies yea ok...what should i do when i call, should i express my love for her and tell her she can have all the time she needs or what as i dont want to be a needy begging person, i kno the times we had are irreplacable and we have never even had an argument at all so i really want to tell her to give it some more time with each other to see every side of our lives before she makes her mind up...any help please??? i do strongly believe she still loves me...i hope so anyways but even of the spark has gone and she has lost intrest is it common for them to come back to a girl, i feel that the distance could of been a problem and i was willing to move closer to her in the new year but never said anything about it yet...should i tell her this when i call or is it too much??/ thanks everyone ye have helped me a lot Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted November 29, 2014 Share Posted November 29, 2014 I guess now it's too late. You must have talked to her already. How did it go? Link to post Share on other sites
Author santaclaus123 Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 I guess now it's too late. You must have talked to her already. How did it go? It went ok, she just said she dosent kno how she feels and I asked does she want this yes or no but replied she dosent kno, it was due to me complaining over a few days that put her off, I asked could I come meet her in a few days to chat to face and she said yes and she also had a little giggle with me as I brought up something naughty, she then said she'd text me the next day I stupidly sent her a naughty joke message in the morning and it took her 5 hrs to reply back asked me how I was and how was my day, im thinking she's just texting me out of pity im still over confused and am starting to obsess over her checking my fone ect....she did question our future over the phone and I said I was willing to move closer in the new year if that's the problem...what to do nw I dont kno....it very hard to take in that she dont feel the same wen we were completely crazy fr each other just a week ago....any ideas?? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 Ok. Well, it looks like she was a bit excited when you said you'll visit her. That's positive. Anyway, when you meet her, just behave like you used to, which I hope means: loving, nice, cute, passionate, etc. But don't make any move before you have talked about the issue. She might turn you down. So you first talked about what happened, you say sorry, and ask her if she really has mixed feelings or if she was just hurt. If she says she still has mixed feelings, you leave. You tell her that you're in love with her and knowing she's not in love with you anymore is not easy for you, and your presence there is useless. If she says that she was just hurt, then everything is resolved. You say how happy you are that you can make up and then you give her all your love......... Come back and let us know. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author santaclaus123 Posted November 30, 2014 Author Share Posted November 30, 2014 Ok. Well, it looks like she was a bit excited when you said you'll visit her. That's positive. Anyway, when you meet her, just behave like you used to, which I hope means: loving, nice, cute, passionate, etc. But don't make any move before you have talked about the issue. She might turn you down. So you first talked about what happened, you say sorry, and ask her if she really has mixed feelings or if she was just hurt. If she says she still has mixed feelings, you leave. You tell her that you're in love with her and knowing she's not in love with you anymore is not easy for you, and your presence there is useless. If she says that she was just hurt, then everything is resolved. You say how happy you are that you can make up and then you give her all your love......... Come back and let us know. Good luck! Well I also noticed something else I never mentioned....when she said she dosent kno how she feels she said that once a week or once every 2 weeks is not enough for her in a relationship. ..could the distance be causing the mixed feelings. ..if so would.letting her kno again im willing to move closer after the new year? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted November 30, 2014 Share Posted November 30, 2014 she said that once a week or once every 2 weeks is not enough for her in a relationship. What is not enough? Link to post Share on other sites
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