trying to get used to my husband working out of town a lot lately

[Emerald_11]

It is hard to have a relationship with someone you can not see or touch everyday. I am trying to get used to being without him a lot more than we have ever been from one another. I have been having a hard time with that. I know it is for the best because he is making way more money at this job than he was before. He is thinking of different ways to stay working with this company and work closer to home but it seems like most of the big jobs are a few hours drive away at least so I don't see that changing anytime soon.

Also the jobs are all over the region so we can't just move closer because it would just be further away from some other jobs...

 

 

We talk on the phone every day but maybe we should try face time or Skype also.

My husband looked super sexy & like he had been working out when I saw him last weekend! It is just from him working at his job. You really notice changes in a person when you only see them once a week.

[d0nnivain]

I know the feeling. My husband is out of town for a month on business. Our bed feels awfully big & cold without him.

 

Keep the lines of communication open & know this has a end date.

 

Can you go to him & spend a romantic weekend together?

[cerridwen]

We talk on the phone every day but maybe we should try face time or Skype also.

My husband looked super sexy & like he had been working out when I saw him last weekend! It is just from him working at his job. You really notice changes in a person when you only see them once a week.

 

This is a very good idea.

Getting to see the person in addition to hearing their voice, makes a huge difference.

 

Don't feel limited to having Skype on for just the phone call either.

I know couples at a distance who have it on in the room as they go about their regular routine in the evenings.

It allows for spontaneous conversation and a increased sense of accessibility.

 

Try it.

[Emerald_11]

We have been doing face time on our phones about every other day and I think its nicer to be able to see each other so that helped.

 

 

My husband will be home for the weekend tomorrow. BUT he says he has to interview some new guys for jobs he needs to fill on Saturday AND go look at another potential job that is close to where we live this weekend. So it sounds like he is just So busy! His uncle invited us to a family dinner/BBQ this weekend but my husband declined that invite after I told him I really just wanted to spend time with just him. I guess it may seem selfish but I don't feel like sharing my husband with his cousins/ family after not seeing him all week while he has been gone. Plus another reason I don't want to go is his family seems to encourage my husband to get really drunk -way more so than he does just at home. I have talked to his cousin about it but nothing changed they always seem to bust out the shot glasses so just not going as often when they invite us is my solution. Don't get me wrong though I am not trying to stop my husband from seeing his family but I am glad that he told me he declined this most recent invite.

 

 

I am happy for my husband that he is successful but it has been hard. I told my husband I really want to spend some good alone time with him and suggested a trip to some hot springs that are about an hour and a half drive away. He seemed to like the idea but says he can't do that until January or February. So I am looking forward to that but it seems like a long time from now. I don't know why we cant set aside time for that one weekend a little sooner than after the next year begins.

 

 

He says he will help me get my wedding ring fixed soon...but he has been saying that for a while like I said before he is super busy with his work. I think I will take my ring to the place we bought it from and check to see about the cost to do that next week sometime.

That way if I have a ring on it will be less stressful for me and the guys at my college & at work will know I am married without awkward situations having to happen first.

 

 

I don't think I have overstepped any boundaries with the guy from one of my classes who asked me out. Even though I thought of him later....nothing happened and won't happen....It is no where near an emotional affair as I do not have any contact with him outside of class. Never exchanged numbers no facebooking going on---nothing. We are just classmates and conversations are bound to happen in class. I talk to other classmates male & female alike.

 

 

I work so hard all week long studying going to school, spending time with and taking care of our kids, and working part time. I really look forward to seeing my husband.

This trip of his out of town of his was sort of stressful for me because my husband has been waiting on a payment check in the mail and it is late so he ran out of money while out of town. Luckily I just got my financial aid money for college. I was planning on buying some winter boots for myself and some clothes and things for my kids but instead I ended up putting it in my husbands business account so he wasn't stranded out of town. So we will just wait on the boots and clothes until after my husbands jobs pay off.

I know my husband works hard and he says he is doing it for us so we can accomplish goals of ours but I just don't know how long I can have him so absent and detached from my life and from our kids like he has been. I feel like a single parent often. People who see me in public with my kids probably assume I am a single mom also since I can't wear my ring right now since it is broken. I am not one to care too much what others think though.

Feeling like a single mom is rough when I am not a single mom technically but have to be a lot of the time. It gets exhausting and is lonely being the only adult most of the time.

 

 

I guess I just don't feel like a priority of his. I know he cares & I try to be understanding and patient....

I mentioned to him that I think we should see a marriage counselor & I looked into it but with his work schedule it doesn't look like it fits into the already crammed schedule. My husband also doesn't think we need counseling....

 

 

I just don't know how to make this work for me. I am a happy person & love life. I just want to live my life with my husband and he is just not too available....

I just need his attention!! & I know that is why I enjoyed the other attention I received just a little too much.

 

 

What are your thoughts/opinions/ suggestions? Does it sound like it is selfish of me to want more?

Edited November 14, 2014 by Emerald_11

[LittleTiger]

Hi Emerald, sorry you're having such a rough time.

 

It seems to me that your main problem is you don't feel your husband is making enough time for you and you're therefore feeling lonely and neglected. This a very dangerous situation for any relationship, long distance or not.

 

I would suggest you tell your husband how you're feeling. That you need more of his attention and you and your kids need to feel as though you're his priority. That's not an unreasonable request.

 

My guy and I are apart for at least six months of the year. He works twelve hour shifts, seven days on the trot, and he still makes time to talk to me twice a day, every day - and at least one of those conversations is a video chat on Skype. On his days off, both are Skype calls which usually last at least an hour.

 

We are 10,000 miles apart but I know I'm his number one priority 95% of the time when he's not working. I prioritise him in the same way. That's why our relationship continues to work so well, even though we've been long distance for five years.

 

If your marriage is going to survive this separation, you both have to make more of an effort to spend quality time together - when you're physically together and when you're not. It's time for a very important conversation. Good luck.

[d0nnivain]

I know my husband works hard and he says he is doing it for us so we can accomplish goals of ours but I just don't know how long I can have him so absent and detached from my life and from our kids like he has been.

 

 

I guess I just don't feel like a priority of his. I know he cares & I try to be understanding and patient....

 

It's not selfish of you to want more but it would be selfish to give him grief. You need to shift your mindset, which isn't easy. You know as you have said, he's doing all this for you. When you feel blue or left out, remind yourself of this.

 

Try to figure out some way he can make you feel more special without detracting from the time he needs to work in order to provide for your family. I'm thinking a text throughout the day: maybe a snail mail card if he's gone for more than 2 weeks at a time; have him leave little love notes hidden around the house etc.

[Emerald_11]

It's not selfish of you to want more but it would be selfish to give him grief. You need to shift your mindset, which isn't easy. You know as you have said, he's doing all this for you. When you feel blue or left out, remind yourself of this.

 

Try to figure out some way he can make you feel more special without detracting from the time he needs to work in order to provide for your family. I'm thinking a text throughout the day: maybe a snail mail card if he's gone for more than 2 weeks at a time; have him leave little love notes hidden around the house etc.

 

 

 

I do not know how to ask someone to do special things for me. I won't ask. I feel like special things like that need to be his idea, not mine or else it is not special.

BTW My husband has never ever sent me or bought me flowers or written me a single letter that wasn't a text message the whole time I have known him. He has also never given me any sort of card---birthday, valentines...nothing. I give him cards sometimes on special occasions. I cannot picture him leaving letters in places for me to be surprised by.....He gives me gifts sometimes. On my most recent birthday he said we could not afford a gift and I got nothing but we did spend the day together and I was content with that.

Edited November 14, 2014 by Emerald_11

[d0nnivain]

To some extent you have to "train" him. Before the rest of the board jumps all over me I know that is an imperfect word. It's about managing expectations & being clear in what you want so it's easier for your SO to give it to you.

 

When I met my husband he didn't do any of those things either. He used to give me sappy cards for occasions like Valentine's Day, Christmas, my birthday etc. On the bottom of the card at the end he'd sign his name. That was it: no date, no Dear D0nnivain, no Love, husband -- just his name. It's a little thing but it made me bonkers. So I sat down & taught him how to sign a card. It took a while but I figured since he was going for the mushy cards anyway, it would be OK. Now he signs cards to my liking & even occasionally manages to handwrite I love you. Receiving cards like that -- even though I basically dictated what I wanted -- doesn't make them any less special. In fact it makes me happy to know he was willing to make that change to make me happy.

 

When I met him, he also used to give cheap practical presents. There is little I hate more than practical presents. I took him to a jewelry store & explained that this is where presents come from. I was joking but I also said that if he bought me another small appliance without me specifically asking for it, I was going to bonk him over the head with it.

 

You need to specify what you want. Since your time together is limited, sit him down & talk. explain that you are feeling neglected but intellectually you understand that he's making these sacrifices of time now for the financial well-being of the family but it would help if he could make an effort to step up the romance with a few notes, a card, sending flowers from the road or if that's too expensive grabbing some at the grocery store on his way home (the farmer's markets by me sell cute bouquets of mixed blossoms for $7.99)

 

Men don't always think about this stuff so you have to educate him. A loving guy will make the effort.

 

It's not a one way street. You have to have his favorite meal prepared for the day he's home & maybe set up a sleep over for the kids that 1st or 2nd night.

[Emerald_11]

Thank you for that D0nnivain!! So funny!

One year I got a vacuum cleaner as a Christmas gift from him...I liked it & it is a nice one that I did say I wanted to get...I was grateful for the gesture but I did have a secret urge to bonk him over the head with it...like you said. It would have been better to just bring it home but to wrap it up as a gift was just too much!! It was not what I expected to see after I unwrapped it... & I already told him about that without being rude or ungrateful so he knows now! I too do not like appliances as gifts because they are not romantic.

 

 

My husband also just recently bought me a new car. It wasn't a gift for any particular reason. He was basically just tired of fixing and working on my other rig. He said since he is gone so much lately he couldn't have me & our kids driving in a car with so many potential issues. It was super nice of him to do that!! & I love him for it. He does take good care of his family.

 

 

You are right I just need to train him better! He will be home later today * I do have a plan to make him a nice dinner tonight!!

[d0nnivain]

If he's buying you new cars you won't have much "training" to do. Just talk to him. Remember that he is working so hard BECAUSE he loves you. Remember that when you are feeling neglected.

[mikethemechanic]

To some extent you have to "train" him. Before the rest of the board jumps all over me I know that is an imperfect word. It's about managing expectations & being clear in what you want so it's easier for your SO to give it to you.

 

When I met my husband he didn't do any of those things either. He used to give me sappy cards for occasions like Valentine's Day, Christmas, my birthday etc. On the bottom of the card at the end he'd sign his name. That was it: no date, no Dear D0nnivain, no Love, husband -- just his name. It's a little thing but it made me bonkers. So I sat down & taught him how to sign a card. It took a while but I figured since he was going for the mushy cards anyway, it would be OK. Now he signs cards to my liking & even occasionally manages to handwrite I love you. Receiving cards like that -- even though I basically dictated what I wanted -- doesn't make them any less special. In fact it makes me happy to know he was willing to make that change to make me happy.

 

When I met him, he also used to give cheap practical presents. There is little I hate more than practical presents. I took him to a jewelry store & explained that this is where presents come from. I was joking but I also said that if he bought me another small appliance without me specifically asking for it, I was going to bonk him over the head with it.

 

You need to specify what you want. Since your time together is limited, sit him down & talk. explain that you are feeling neglected but intellectually you understand that he's making these sacrifices of time now for the financial well-being of the family but it would help if he could make an effort to step up the romance with a few notes, a card, sending flowers from the road or if that's too expensive grabbing some at the grocery store on his way home (the farmer's markets by me sell cute bouquets of mixed blossoms for $7.99)

 

Men don't always think about this stuff so you have to educate him. A loving guy will make the effort.

 

It's not a one way street. You have to have his favorite meal prepared for the day he's home & maybe set up a sleep over for the kids that 1st or 2nd night.

Donnievain if your Husband had faith in you he'd probably tell you everyday that he loved you. Trust is the biggest factor.

[d0nnivain]

Donnievain if your Husband had faith in you he'd probably tell you everyday that he loved you. Trust is the biggest factor.

 

 

Really? We're going to start this again?

 

 

You seem to be obsessed with my marriage which is just fine by any measure other than yours.

 

 

Stop commenting on my life unless I specifically ask you to. I promise I NEVER will.

[elaine567]

My husband also just recently bought me a new car. It wasn't a gift for any particular reason. He was basically just tired of fixing and working on my other rig. He said since he is gone so much lately he couldn't have me & our kids driving in a car with so many potential issues. It was super nice of him to do that!! & I love him for it. He does take good care of his family.

 

He bought you a vacuum cleaner as a Christmas present and he replaced the car without even consulting you and he couldn't afford a gift for your birthday and you think that is good??

[justwhoiam]

1) I have no idea: how do you break a wedding ring? I've never heard this before.

 

2) No ring above $50 should break... if it's made of gold.

 

3)

I feel like special things like that need to be his idea, not mine or else it is not special.

I think that way too. And I guess it's not just me and you thinking that way.

 

4)

BTW My husband has never ever sent me or bought me flowers or written me a single letter that wasn't a text message the whole time I have known him. He has also never given me any sort of card---birthday, valentines...nothing. I give him cards sometimes on special occasions.

My dear, if you have always been OK with that, especially when he was your boyfriend, you knew who you were going to marry and you were fine with it. So, if you're being consistent, you need to be fine with it now too. I'm sorry that often parents don't pass on some wisdom on such things, unfortunately.

 

5) And now to your core question: what to do when he's away most of the time? Sit down with him and see how long this will be going on. 2 years? 5 years? Is it going to be his career? Then, depending on the plans he thought out for you as a couple, have your say. Anything beyond 3 years will be putting your relationship in danger. Anything withing 3 years will still be putting you both at risk, but can be worked out together, making plans and arrangements that will keep you on track. It's something that needs to be discussed together, and he shouldn't make any decision leaving you out of it.

 

6) Now, my personal suggestion on your specific situation. Please, start checking his business account or any of your/his accounts. Analyse any expense in detail and see if things match. You'll spend some time on it, but it can be useful in two ways: one because you can figure out if he's taking people out (or even just one person...............), and two because you can shrink the expenses if you start being on a budget. How much does he spend for lunch? And for dinner? How much does he spend for a hotel? Being away so much, he might earn points with hotel chains, and then have free nights that he can spend with you. Check all these things. Can you track any expense or is there money that seems to go into a black hole? Make your homework and see if he's being good at managing money. If things don't match or you can't track how money is spent, then look into it.

[TMichaels]

I work so hard all week long studying going to school, spending time with and taking care of our kids, and working part time. I really look forward to seeing my husband.

 

How old are you? How old is your husband? How many kids do you have? Are they your kids or kids you/he brought into your marriage?

 

This trip of his out of town of his was sort of stressful for me because my husband has been waiting on a payment check in the mail and it is late so he ran out of money while out of town. Luckily I just got my financial aid money for college. I was planning on buying some winter boots for myself and some clothes and things for my kids but instead I ended up putting it in my husbands business account so he wasn't stranded out of town. So we will just wait on the boots and clothes until after my husbands jobs pay off.

 

So has he paid you back yet? If he doesn't, forget about buying boots and clothes how will you pay tuition? Buy books? Don't you have to present proof that the money was spent on your education?'

 

I know my husband works hard and he says he is doing it for us so we can accomplish goals of ours...

 

And, what goals might those be? You say: "our goals." How were they determined? What do you think/feel about them?

 

My husband also doesn't think we need counseling....

 

I'm not surprised to hear that at all.

 

I just don't know how to make this work for me.

 

How long have you known/been married to this guy?

 

I just need his attention!! & I know that is why I enjoyed the other attention I received just a little too much.

 

You'd better be careful about this. Be careful that you don't crave attention so much that you have an affair. But, also be careful as I have a feeling that trying to discuss this in a rational way with your husband isn't possible and that instead of him changing his behavior you're going to be told you have to discontinue your education, stay at home and mind the kids, or end up with a black eye (or worse).

 

What are your thoughts/opinions/ suggestions? Does it sound like it is selfish of me to want more?

 

No, you're not the one who sounds selfish. But, you do sound like someone who doesn't stand up for herself. If I were you, I'd be spending some of the money you get from your part-time job and get your wedding ring fixed so that you can wear it again. If your husband doesn't like the fact you did, remind him that he promised to do it for months, but didn't, and being able to wear it is important to you.

 

Pay attention to how he reacts to you being more assertive. It sounds to me like he won't be happy about that. Only you can decide whether you're happy to live your life like you are and whether that type of relationship is one you want your children to think is acceptable.

 

 

Best,

TMichaels

[FitChick]

Sounds like an affair waiting to happen. Get the wedding ring fixed and wear it.

[Emerald_11]

1) I have no idea: how do you break a wedding ring? I've never heard this before.

 

2) No ring above $50 should break... if it's made of gold.

 

3) I think that way too. And I guess it's not just me and you thinking that way.

 

4) My dear, if you have always been OK with that, especially when he was your boyfriend, you knew who you were going to marry and you were fine with it. So, if you're being consistent, you need to be fine with it now too. I'm sorry that often parents don't pass on some wisdom on such things, unfortunately.

 

5) And now to your core question: what to do when he's away most of the time? Sit down with him and see how long this will be going on. 2 years? 5 years? Is it going to be his career? Then, depending on the plans he thought out for you as a couple, have your say. Anything beyond 3 years will be putting your relationship in danger. Anything withing 3 years will still be putting you both at risk, but can be worked out together, making plans and arrangements that will keep you on track. It's something that needs to be discussed together, and he shouldn't make any decision leaving you out of it.

 

6) Now, my personal suggestion on your specific situation. Please, start checking his business account or any of your/his accounts. Analyse any expense in detail and see if things match. You'll spend some time on it, but it can be useful in two ways: one because you can figure out if he's taking people out (or even just one person...............), and two because you can shrink the expenses if you start being on a budget. How much does he spend for lunch? And for dinner? How much does he spend for a hotel? Being away so much, he might earn points with hotel chains, and then have free nights that he can spend with you. Check all these things. Can you track any expense or is there money that seems to go into a black hole? Make your homework and see if he's being good at managing money. If things don't match or you can't track how money is spent, then look into it.

 

 

 

Thank you for your response.

One of the smaller diamonds fell out of the ring. It is white gold. There is a sharp claw where the diamond used to be. I tried to wear it like that but it snagged on everything and scratched a small child on the arm one day as she gave me a hug so I stopped wearing it. If I ever punched someone with that hand with it on they would probably need stitches.

 

 

I have already talked to him about his working out of town and how long he will have to do that and he hopes to hire other workers to replace him for those jobs in the future and he will only have to stop by to oversee the jobs on a weekly or biweekly basis. He hopes to be in a position to do that within a year or so if every thing goes as planned...So that is his goal/ plan.

My husband does already get discounts off hotel expenses. He plans to purchase an RV to stay in while he travels instead of spending money on hotels. We could also use the RV for camping or traveling in the future. Then he could bring food and have a place to cook as well. So we have talked about better ways to keep costs down.

I actually have no access to view his business account. I was able to deposit money but do not have any way to view the transactions or anything.

 

 

About the gifts/ things- You're right I have never been a very material person. Things do not matter that much to me. I would much rather spend time with someone than receive gifts from them. I just think it could be nice to get flowers on my birthday or something....

Edited November 26, 2014 by Emerald_11

[Emerald_11]

How old are you? How old is your husband? How many kids do you have? Are they your kids or kids you/he brought into your marriage?

 

 

 

So has he paid you back yet? If he doesn't, forget about buying boots and clothes how will you pay tuition? Buy books? Don't you have to present proof that the money was spent on your education?'

 

 

 

And, what goals might those be? You say: "our goals." How were they determined? What do you think/feel about them?

 

 

 

I'm not surprised to hear that at all.

 

 

 

How long have you known/been married to this guy?

 

 

 

You'd better be careful about this. Be careful that you don't crave attention so much that you have an affair. But, also be careful as I have a feeling that trying to discuss this in a rational way with your husband isn't possible and that instead of him changing his behavior you're going to be told you have to discontinue your education, stay at home and mind the kids, or end up with a black eye (or worse).

 

 

 

No, you're not the one who sounds selfish. But, you do sound like someone who doesn't stand up for herself. If I were you, I'd be spending some of the money you get from your part-time job and get your wedding ring fixed so that you can wear it again. If your husband doesn't like the fact you did, remind him that he promised to do it for months, but didn't, and being able to wear it is important to you.

 

Pay attention to how he reacts to you being more assertive. It sounds to me like he won't be happy about that. Only you can decide whether you're happy to live your life like you are and whether that type of relationship is one you want your children to think is acceptable.

 

 

Best,

TMichaels

 

 

 

 

thank you-

I am 34 my husband is 31. We have been married 8 years we dated for about 2 years before getting married. We have two kids that are both of ours. I actually did not know how old my husband was until we had been seeing each other for about 5 months. He thought I would not like him if I knew he was younger than me. I had not really dated anyone younger than me before him.

 

 

Our goals are to buy or build a different house with some acreage. I want to have my own fruit orchard and garden. We want the property to have a private water well. We want to live a self sufficient lifestyle away from town but not too far out (still able to get internet service). We want to have our own shooting range. Also I would like to have a few more outdoor animals. I hope to be a bigger contributor financially after I get my degree from college and find a job. We have talked about this quite a bit and both think it is what we want.

 

He still has not produced the $ that was lost in the mail that company is resending it. I believed my husband that he would get me $ the next day but it did not happen. My financial aid money does not specifically have to be spent on school. It can be for living expenses or clothing etc..just to help while in school. I actually was lucky enough to get a full ride scholarship so my tuition is covered.

I am very mad about the money thing happening because bills I was also going to pay with it did not get paid. Our power was shut off and it was only 54 degrees in my house. My husband was out of town still. I called my boss to tell him I might not make it to work because of my power being out and not being able to take a shower at home etc...I was planning on staying at a friends house with my kids. My boss is super nice and he paid my past due balance & now I have to pay him back on my next payday. I am sort of embarrassed about that but my boss assured me no one at work will hear anything about it. I will never give up all my money to my husband ever again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I do need to be more independent & less codependent. I am working on it!! Once I go back to work full time it will make up for his irregular pay schedule.

Edited November 26, 2014 by Emerald_11

[spanz1]

I highly recommend a Skype call every night in your situation. What are you two working for? A better life together. YOu need to see each other to remind yourselves of that.

 

 

Phone calls are too easy to blow off the other person, like watching tv while talking on the phone. You want a REAL conversation.

[spanz1]

 

Our goals are to buy or build a different house with some acreage. I want to have my own fruit orchard and garden. We want the property to have a private water well. We want to live a self sufficient lifestyle away from town but not too far out (still able to get internet service). We want to have our own shooting range. Also I would like to have a few more outdoor animals. I hope to be a bigger contributor financially after I get my degree from college and find a job. We have talked about this quite a bit and both think it is what we want.

.

 

 

 

sounds like a great plan. You can often get land butting up against a state/national forest, and it is like your own hunting/fishing preserve! No neighbors nearby, thousands of acres at your disposal, but still close enough to major highways and civilization. go for it. throw in a few solar panels and a wood burning stove, and you will never by cold again.

[justwhoiam]

Emerald, as soon as he gets home, you ask him to show you his bank account(s). I would not accept being in the dark about his finances, especially if I am lending him money. That's the stupidest thing you could do. He might be an addicted gambler, you cannot know for sure. He's out of home for weeks in a row. Bills couldn't be paid. Please stop daydreaming right now, and be more practical. He might be really really broke. Why doesn't he get any credit from the bank? Why didn't he set any line of credit? I guess maybe he already drained that line. Please don't just wait there doing nothing. You have two kids.

[Emerald_11]

My husband finally got the payment that was late and I paid my boss back and other bills. My boss wants to meet my husband and has invited everyone at work & their spouses to a company holiday party. I think it sounds fun but my husband doesn't want to go.

It is frustrating that my husband barely ever wants to do anything I want to do. I want him to meet my boss & co workers. We don't have to stay too long.. He is not going to be out of town that day.....

[justwhoiam]

I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for, since you ignored the advice we gave so far. Go back and reread the thread.

[Emerald_11]

I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for, since you ignored the advice we gave so far. Go back and reread the thread.

 

 

 

I want you all to know I appreciate every piece of advice you give on this forum. I am not ignoring it!!

 

 

So my husband changed his mind and will go to the Christmas party with me this weekend. But he made a strange comment about why he decided to go --he said he plans to scare all the guys so they wont think about trying to steal me from him. I am not even interested or attracted to any of the guys I work with so his comment was very strange to me...We were on the phone when we were talking about this..When he said that I said something like "what?? please explain?" and then my husband hung up! When he got back home I asked him why he hung up on me and he blamed it on bad cell phone reception..I don't believe the bad reception story But let it go.

My boss is older but not ancient he is in his late 50's and very smart. He also has a psychology degree. He is usually correct when he makes assumptions about people. I told him a little about my crush on the guy in class and he also thinks it is not a good idea to be in contact with that guy at all outside of class even if I keep it totally platonic. I respect his opinion. My boss really is looking forward to meeting my husband. I think it will be a good thing.

[justwhoiam]

I want you all to know I appreciate every piece of advice you give on this forum. I am not ignoring it!!

And you did what exactly of what was suggested in here? Can you please let us know what advice are you taking to heart and what you're discarding? What you are going to follow and what not?