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He calls me a psycho.


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Hey guys I need help, I've been trying many many times to solve this huge problem of mine. I don't need you to discourage me about this because I want to keep it so I'd just need your opinions.

I've been talking to this guy since 1 year and half, like a distance relationship of kinda. Never met yet.

It's a sad story since we met at first I pretended because I was insecure but he found out and I told him everything about me. He didn't really hate me about it because he and I love each other so much. I might of lied few times and I swear I've truly felt bad as I have always apologised.

I'm not going to defend myself in general I do have a fault.

We've haven't been getting along since a very long time, I would act nice and stuff but he just ignores me or doesn't care. Says things to hurt me and he knows that I should hate him but I don't.

There are times we get along perfectly and I sometimes feel that he might still love me but just hide it because I do too. And because there aren't any chances to meet I slowly lose hope. He has been jealous, he has been worried about me. I've noticed that last month. But this month whatever I do or say without meaning it he takes it seriously and say that I'm weird, crazy, obsessed, psycho. How to prove him I'm not???????

I'm not any of that... I've tried to get along, I've been honest an year and I've promised myself to not do this ever again.

This month tho things are going disastrous.

If I message him first he gets annoyed, ignores, swears at me makes me feel so ****ty. Brings me down and I can't explain the right reason for it. I know you'd say get over him. He's not worth it. Stuff like that but I seriously don't want to give up on my dream and that's to meet him someday.

I let him bring me down because I don't want to lose him but I'm so enough with it I'm thinking to not message him this rest of the month. Because I'm tired of being treated like one psycho. And one nothing.

 

Anyways

Thanks for reading please respond.

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Michelle ma Belle

This isn't a relationship and certainly not a healthy one.

 

Although I don't approve of how he might be treating you (we're only getting one side of the story after all), you have to remember that you started out lying to him. It obviously changed how he sees and feels about you despite your promises of never doing that again.

 

The damage is done I'm afraid.

 

My question to you is if you know there is no chance of ever meeting in real life, what exactly were you hoping to come of this?

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This isn't a relationship and certainly not a healthy one.

 

Although I don't approve of how he might be treating you (we're only getting one side of the story after all), you have to remember that you started out lying to him. It obviously changed how he sees and feels about you despite your promises of never doing that again.

 

The damage is done I'm afraid.

 

My question to you is if you know there is no chance of ever meeting in real life, what exactly were you hoping to come of this?

 

 

Maybe there is a chance but it depends on him. I know he sees me differently and yet he said I never thought you were a psycho, and I wish I could change his mind. :( everything is so confusing to me, can't clear my mind. He would say he has a girlfriend so he could make me feel even worse. Now.

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Michelle ma Belle
Maybe there is a chance but it depends on him. I know he sees me differently and yet he said I never thought you were a psycho, and I wish I could change his mind. :( everything is so confusing to me, can't clear my mind. He would say he has a girlfriend so he could make me feel even worse. Now.

 

If he is this abusive in the way he speaks to you then why do you continue to put up with it?

 

And don't tell me it's because you "love" him. You might THINK you love him but being truly in love with someone doesn't look or feel like this.

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If he is this abusive in the way he speaks to you then why do you continue to put up with it?

 

And don't tell me it's because you "love" him. You might THINK you love him but being truly in love with someone doesn't look or feel like this.

 

Oh yes you're so right about this. He knows exactly why is he abusive. I realized that he blames me for everything.

Never ever believed a guy such as him to turn into like a nightmare for me, I'm even scared to approach him at times, he'd just snap calling me psycho and whether I explain it he wouldn't listen. Maybe I hold on to him to much and that creeps him out. After all that had happened I still love him and he wouldn't believe it. Talking to him about love is forbidden I've been apologising and apologising a lot but nothing he's extremely mad at me. I remember how he said I'd wait a lifetime to be with you for a day now if I say something like that he'd be like ok that's weird.

Maybe he is used to behave like this because back then last Christmas turned out we weren't gonna meet so he tried to make me hate him and acted almost the same way as now. Maybe that's why.

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This whole mess was flawed from the beginning.

 

You lied at first. Somehow he found out but for unexplained reasons kept talking to you. Most people would have been gone after the lies were discovered. Lesson for you: tell the truth.

 

He ignores you; he calls you psycho & says things to hurt you. You yourself acknowledge that you should hate him, yet you keep coming back for more. That is a sign of very low self esteem & you need to address it. Therapy would be a good start. Learning that silence means: go away would also help.

 

You don't have any realistic chance to meet so what are you hanging on to? instead of obsessing about this guy you will never meet in person, go out into the real world & interact with people near you. Exercise. Get some sun on your face. Move away from your keyboard.

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This whole mess was flawed from the beginning.

 

You lied at first. Somehow he found out but for unexplained reasons kept talking to you. Most people would have been gone after the lies were discovered. Lesson for you: tell the truth.

 

He ignores you; he calls you psycho & says things to hurt you. You yourself acknowledge that you should hate him, yet you keep coming back for more. That is a sign of very low self esteem & you need to address it. Therapy would be a good start. Learning that silence means: go away would also help.

 

You don't have any realistic chance to meet so what are you hanging on to? instead of obsessing about this guy you will never meet in person, go out into the real world & interact with people near you. Exercise. Get some sun on your face. Move away from your keyboard.

 

Look I have done all of that, I would distract myself, exercise, hang with friends but later I get back home and when I get in my bed at night I remember the times we have constantly talked and loved and cared for each other so much, breaks my heart because I know he deeply loved me and I hurt him. I was thinking to wait but idk I'm losing hope everyday.

I don't really like giving up. Because of all this i have done to him has make me hate myself and have a low self worth. I ****ing regret it.

My aunt met a guy like this over the Internet and he is the love of her life.

And talking to him made my heart beat fast and I've never felt the same way before as I did for a guy in my life.

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Your aunt met a guy who was mean to her & intentionally hurt her? That's the real problem here, not the distance (although that's not great either).

 

If you won't believe us, tell your aunt about him calling you psycho & ignoring you. I bet even she will tell you to walk away from him.

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Your aunt met a guy who was mean to her & intentionally hurt her? That's the real problem here, not the distance (although that's not great either).

 

If you won't believe us, tell your aunt about him calling you psycho & ignoring you. I bet even she will tell you to walk away from him.

 

You guys will never know how I felt about him. I'm giving myself a last chance and a risk.

When I get hurt, hurts but not like before anymore because I'm used to it.

And if I ask myself did him and I wasted all this time of our lives for nothing and at the end just give up.

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Hey guys I need help, I've been trying many many times to solve this huge problem of mine. I don't need you to discourage me about this because I want to keep it so I'd just need your opinions.
So you pretended to be who you are not. He found out and you admitted to it. After that, you were caught in more lies. He didn't cut you off, but kept talking to you. But now, you're complaining about his behavior.

 

My opinion is that facts led him to see you as non-girlfriend material. When he talks to you, it's to kill his time. No big deal. No kind of effort. There's nothing serious behind his talking to you. Just casual talk. No matter how flirty it can get.

 

Besides, did he say he now has a girlfriend? I don't care if you think he said that in spite or because you think it was to make you jealous. Start thinking he has a girlfriend and he's not interested in you as more than a virtual friend.

 

But this month whatever I do or say without meaning it he takes it seriously and say that I'm weird, crazy, obsessed, psycho. How to prove him I'm not???????
Stop talking to him. Can you? If you can't, then he's right and it means you're obsessed with him. No matter how much you claim to be the opposite.

 

but I seriously don't want to give up on my dream and that's to meet him someday.

If you don't come to a change of course, there's little to no chance of meeting him ever. You don't prove behaviors with words, you can prove it with actions. Stop being invasive, stop bombing him with messages/texts, stop reaching out to him all the time. Give him space. Send him a good morning card now and then to wish him a good day. Congratulate with him about his achievements if you know of any. Say happy bday on his birthday. And leave it at that. Don't start conversations with him if he doesn't show any interest in that. You need him to want to talk to you in the first place. If that's even possible, I don't know. At times, there's no turning back for our wrongdoing.

 

I let him bring me down because I don't want to lose him
With that, you're just showing him your lack of self-respect and loads of low self-esteem. I guess most guys wouldn't be intrigued by that, because that's not charming. It just sucks. It can be a huge turn-off.

 

So you might mean well, but it looks like you're doing it wrong all the way.

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OK, ok I'd be the blame. It turned out worse than I have expected it to be. He gave up hope because there wasn't a good time to meet and I remember when I said if I find a boyfriend I have to stop talking to you, you ok? Then he hesitated and was like oh I guess I will have to be :(.

He said he still thinks of me and sometime would message me. But there was one night he called me multiple times on Skype acting like an ******* on cam and I was like you're acting bit weird don't you think later he called back and acted like nothing happened as he said I don't want to talk to you and he hangup on me since then till now is like this and I'm ****ing hated. I don't know what I said wrong since he approached me first. He left me speechless :(. You don't know the whole story tho, but now I'm just going to leave him alone for the time being as things calm down.

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You guys will never know how I felt about him. I'm giving myself a last chance and a risk.

When I get hurt, hurts but not like before anymore because I'm used to it.

And if I ask myself did him and I wasted all this time of our lives for nothing and at the end just give up.

 

Yeah been there and done that wasted a good many years with a man like this 1st on line then I was stupid enough to ignore his BS on line I thought like you prob do he will change or I can help him yea NO..didn't happen more years wasted in RL!

 

As well as being verbally/mentally/physically abused so some of us DO know and believe me its not worth it. Even if you did do something wrong hes not acting like a healthy adult man would about it.

 

But up to you enjoy learning this the hard way if you so choose best to have the local police and women's shelter handy if you do decide to have a go of things with a man like this..

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Yeah been there and done that wasted a good many years with a man like this 1st on line then I was stupid enough to ignore his BS on line I thought like you prob do he will change or I can help him yea NO..didn't happen more years wasted in RL!

 

As well as being verbally/mentally/physically abused so some of us DO know and believe me its not worth it. Even if you did do something wrong hes not acting like a healthy adult man would about it.

 

But up to you enjoy learning this the hard way if you so choose best to have the local police and women's shelter handy if you do decide to have a go of things with a man like this..

 

Leave it, tell me to give up ok. I've killed something beautiful. And sometimes have to leave things like that, unsolved, him to hate me, have the wrong idea about me. It's such a mess but yeah. I'm probably not mature enough to just let go and live my life like before. Useless.

You don't know what is to feel treated like something you aren't.

Nobody tells me how to prove him wrong. As I said I'd leave him a lot of time. Apologize and move on.

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Leave it, tell me to give up ok. I've killed something beautiful. And sometimes have to leave things like that, unsolved, him to hate me, have the wrong idea about me. It's such a mess but yeah. I'm probably not mature enough to just let go and live my life like before. Useless.

You don't know what is to feel treated like something you aren't.

Nobody tells me how to prove him wrong. As I said I'd leave him a lot of time. Apologize and move on.

 

Your not getting what I said doesn't matter what you did wrong hes handling it the wrong way and the way hes acting is bringing up huge RED FLAGS..hes choosing to be abusive instead of just acting like a adult and ether getting over it or moving on and cutting contact..

 

Believe me I know what being treated like that is and you know what? I don't give a **** what people think of me long as I am respectful and considerate I know Im a good person past that they can hate me for all they like more power to them..:laugh:

 

You want to know the best way to prove him wrong? cut him out of your life and start over don't lie in the future and find a respectful mature man and have a healthy relashionship. Im sorry I know it hurts but trust me I don't think any good will ever come of this situation even if he dose a 180 and meets you IRL tomorrow..

 

But all this said ultimately its your choice how much abuse you want to take? and when you will walk away so im done trying to help you best of luck...Ps your only as useless as you allow yourself to be thats the beauty of self worth ...;)

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Your not getting what I said doesn't matter what you did wrong hes handling it the wrong way and the way hes acting is bringing up huge RED FLAGS..hes choosing to be abusive instead of just acting like a adult and ether getting over it or moving on and cutting contact..

 

Believe me I know what being treated like that is and you know what? I don't give a **** what people think of me long as I am respectful and considerate I know Im a good person past that they can hate me for all they like more power to them..:laugh:

 

You want to know the best way to prove him wrong? cut him out of your life and start over don't lie in the future and find a respectful mature man and have a healthy relashionship. Im sorry I know it hurts but trust me I don't think any good will ever come of this situation even if he dose a 180 and meets you IRL tomorrow..

 

But all this said ultimately its your choice how much abuse you want to take? and when you will walk away so im done trying to help you best of luck...Ps your only as useless as you allow yourself to be thats the beauty of self worth ...;)

 

You know what I'm thinking, he is abusive everybody knows it even himself. He wouldn't be doing it for no reason. He does it for a reason and he's mad at me about it. I let him like control my happiness for a long time. So I made a huge mistake and ever since a long time even before I met him I haven't had a self worth but now it's getting even worse. If he just apologies and so do I. I'd turn the next page. To a better life.

Falling in love hurts but even more when you leave it like this.

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Leave it, tell me to give up ok. I've killed something beautiful. And sometimes have to leave things like that, unsolved, him to hate me, have the wrong idea about me. It's such a mess but yeah. I'm probably not mature enough to just let go and live my life like before. Useless.

You don't know what is to feel treated like something you aren't.

Nobody tells me how to prove him wrong. As I said I'd leave him a lot of time. Apologize and move on.

 

How do you know what anyone here has been through? You cannot presume to know that people here have felt or not felt. Your case is not so unique. Don't make assumptions.

 

As for you, you have a very unhealthy attachment and dependency on someone you've never met. Your behaviour from the beginning was unacceptable and not normal. I don't think he should be calling you psychotic, but your actions have not been very respectable either.

 

The bottom line is that you can't prove anything to him. He clearly doesn't want a relationship with you, and you don't seem to want to believe that. I understand it's hurtful but you simply cannot force someone to see the real you if they don't want to. And remember, you shattered his trust a long time ago. It's time to walk away.

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How do you know what anyone here has been through? You cannot presume to know that people here have felt or not felt. Your case is not so unique. Don't make assumptions.

 

As for you, you have a very unhealthy attachment and dependency on someone you've never met. Your behaviour from the beginning was unacceptable and not normal. I don't think he should be calling you psychotic, but your actions have not been very respectable either.

 

The bottom line is that you can't prove anything to him. He clearly doesn't want a relationship with you, and you don't seem to want to believe that. I understand it's hurtful but you simply cannot force someone to see the real you if they don't want to. And remember, you shattered his trust a long time ago. It's time to walk away.

 

It's true everybody would say that but how would you feel knowing that the guy you love most hates you because you let him have the wrong idea of you. I wake up and my heart is telling me that something isn't right. Weeks will pass, months will pass but it will still be there, a part of me wouldn't be happy.

Even my parents had the wrong idea of me thinking that I can't do nothing with my life but I'm proving them wrong, now they see me differently and im glad

I'm motivated to make a move so don't discourage me instead let me give this time a shot.

I can end up somewhere else. Why is always have to be bad. I want to become a better person from now on. I'm sure everyone will notice.

Btw the story is bit misleading, had to write it off real quickly. If you want to know exactly how it is I would like to share. :)

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I'm motivated to make a move so don't discourage me instead let me give this time a shot.

I can end up somewhere else. Why is always have to be bad. I want to become a better person from now on. I'm sure everyone will notice.

Btw the story is bit misleading, had to write it off real quickly. If you want to know exactly how it is I would like to share. :)

 

Im sorry I don't understand what your saying give what a shot? make a move how? you cant make a move on a man who doesn't want you..you wasted our time with a misleading story? :mad:

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Im sorry I don't understand what your saying give what a shot? make a move how? you cant make a move on a man who doesn't want you..you wasted our time with a misleading story? :mad:

 

I remember I asked him what do you want and he was like I want you but you're too far away and we can't. he wanted to make me hate him and he knows that I should hate him. I do hate him sometimes end up not. I even asked before if he hate me he said no. He got upset when I said that I must find a boyfriend and stop talking. Even this summer he wanted to meet me because he had a job. But now since we argued so bad this night. Can't just leave it like that.

I must of offended him last time we Skyped and since then he shut me down. Now he's probably mad at me. And all this is just a huge misunderstanding.

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isolatedgothic

Oh dear Zap.

 

This isn't a huge misunderstanding. This is a weak man who is hoping that by insulting you enough, you will go away. If you truly care about him, and you seem to think you do, then please do that. Give him that gift of going away. Do him the ultimate favor. Don't tell him you're going to go away. Don't write a big, long email explaining how you feel and how bad this all is, and how you're going to leave him alone now. Just go away. He had a life before you. He will have a life after you. He sounds super resilient.

 

Same for you. You were "you" before he came along. You'll still be you after you walk away. Most sane people realize that other people make mistakes. They forgive. They don't rub their friend's face in the fact that they made a mistake. They don't call them ugly names, like psycho and crazy. They don't cause harm to others, like this guy is causing harm to you.

 

Whatever you did, let it go. In the process, unplug your Skype and find a friend in real life, someone who sees you, can go out with you, can appreciate all that you bring to life. You seem like such a smart person. You write well, and you're sensitive at heart with a lot of love to give. I hate to see you give your heart to someone who so willingly stomps on it and then throws it back at you for you to handle the pain alone.

 

Real love doesn't cause harm. Real love cherishes the other. You have that ability. That is clear from what you have written. This person you're in a long distance whatever-it-is with? They don't know how to love. Not really. Let him go. Fade away like a little ghost and save your heart any more pain.

 

Take care of YOU.

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Oh dear Zap.

 

This isn't a huge misunderstanding. This is a weak man who is hoping that by insulting you enough, you will go away. If you truly care about him, and you seem to think you do, then please do that. Give him that gift of going away. Do him the ultimate favor. Don't tell him you're going to go away. Don't write a big, long email explaining how you feel and how bad this all is, and how you're going to leave him alone now. Just go away. He had a life before you. He will have a life after you. He sounds super resilient.

 

Same for you. You were "you" before he came along. You'll still be you after you walk away. Most sane people realize that other people make mistakes. They forgive. They don't rub their friend's face in the fact that they made a mistake. They don't call them ugly names, like psycho and crazy. They don't cause harm to others, like this guy is causing harm to you.

 

Whatever you did, let it go. In the process, unplug your Skype and find a friend in real life, someone who sees you, can go out with you, can appreciate all that you bring to life. You seem like such a smart person. You write well, and you're sensitive at heart with a lot of love to give. I hate to see you give your heart to someone who so willingly stomps on it and then throws it back at you for you to handle the pain alone.

 

Real love doesn't cause harm. Real love cherishes the other. You have that ability. That is clear from what you have written. This person you're in a long distance whatever-it-is with? They don't know how to love. Not really. Let him go. Fade away like a little ghost and save your heart any more pain.

 

Take care of YOU.

 

Thank you reading that just made me cry because I didn't feel appreciated enough. He would see me as a bad person so I hope with time when he grows up to actually really see that I was only trying to end this drama but it didn't help he just harmed me more. He wanted it first then he will get it. A goodbye and that's it.

Btw forgot to mention recently he's been with depression and because I'm more optimistic doesn't fit in well. He's very pessimistic and hasn't got any faith in anything so that's why he gives up on first place.

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Thank you reading that just made me cry because I didn't feel appreciated enough. He would see me as a bad person so I hope with time when he grows up to actually really see that I was only trying to end this drama but it didn't help he just harmed me more. He wanted it first then he will get it. A goodbye and that's it.

Btw forgot to mention recently he's been with depression and because I'm more optimistic doesn't fit in well. He's very pessimistic and hasn't got any faith in anything so that's why he gives up on first place.

 

You are speaking as though you know him, but you must keep in mind you've never met this person. You're making a lot of assumptions about him without knowing him in real life. The only thing that really matters here is the bottom line: he doesn't wish to pursue a relationship with you. Take the focus off him now and focus on you. Ask yourself why you pretended to be someone you're not, why you so willingly invested in a stranger, and why you're still clinging on to hope that he will change his mind and become interested. As I read it, this is more about your inability to accept yourself for who you are and you refusal to let go of someone who doesn't feel the same way about you.

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You are speaking as though you know him, but you must keep in mind you've never met this person. You're making a lot of assumptions about him without knowing him in real life. The only thing that really matters here is the bottom line: he doesn't wish to pursue a relationship with you. Take the focus off him now and focus on you. Ask yourself why you pretended to be someone you're not, why you so willingly invested in a stranger, and why you're still clinging on to hope that he will change his mind and become interested. As I read it, this is more about your inability to accept yourself for who you are and you refusal to let go of someone who doesn't feel the same way about you.

 

Because it's my last hope.

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