Only 3 more weeks!

[Underthebodhitree]

My man has been 2500 miles away since June. What's worse is that he's a park ranger and lives at the park where there's no internet, cell service - it's a black hole for communication. He'll call or text when he's in town, but that's not very often.

 

Buuuut - he comes back in November! I seriously cannot wait. I'm still a little confused about our status. There's never been the boyfriend/girlfriend talk and we only dated for 2 months before he left. On the other hand, it would have been really easy for either one of us to end things given the situation. And I dunno - do ppl even do the BF/GF talk when they're in their 30's? It's weird.

 

Insecurities aside, it's nice to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And at least have a chance to see if we still work as a couple. Much respect for those that can maintain an LDR for extended amounts of time. I found it very difficult.

[justwhoiam]

So you've been in touch in the past 5 months but occasionally? Like twice a month? I guess he wanted to keep the door open, so that you won't forget about him, but without any deal behind it.

 

I'm not sure what you mean regarding gf/bf in one's 30s. You go from casual dating to cohabitation? Or from casual dating to marriage? I guess at some point, he needs to put in the commitment factor. It can be an engagement, a marriage proposal even, but I guess that you're far from that. After 2 months of dating and a prolonged separation with minimum contact.

[Underthebodhitree]

We talk for about an hour on the phone once or twice a week, and then some brief conversations via text or FB messenger most other days. I went and visited for a week this summer and all was well. He had his choice of parks to go to after his summer stint and chose to come back here, so I think thats a good thing.

 

I'm not looking for engagement and definitely not marriage (I've only been divorced for a year and a half and have 3 little kids - no need to rush) but some agreement on exclusivity would be nice, yknow?

[cerridwen]

We talk for about an hour on the phone once or twice a week, and then some brief conversations via text or FB messenger most other days. I went and visited for a week this summer and all was well. He had his choice of parks to go to after his summer stint and chose to come back here, so I think thats a good thing.

 

I'm not looking for engagement and definitely not marriage (I've only been divorced for a year and a half and have 3 little kids - no need to rush) but some agreement on exclusivity would be nice, yknow?

 

Sure, I understand what you mean about an exclusivity talk.

I don't think there's an age limit for having them so if this feels like the right time, discuss it.

Exactly WHAT you say is another matter but having an understanding at 30-something is perfectly fine.

[justwhoiam]

We talk for about an hour on the phone once or twice a week, and then some brief conversations via text or FB messenger most other days.

Well, even if communication was brief, it was ongoing and quite regular, apparently.

 

I went and visited for a week this summer and all was well

There seems to be like an implied deal, here, even if it was untold. Who would be dating casually and moving to him for a week, just to be with him and spend time with him?

 

To spend a whole week with a man, unless he were a friend, but then, I would probably have other people around traveling with me, he needs to be more than just a casual date. At least potentially.

 

He had his choice of parks to go to after his summer stint and chose to come back here, so I think thats a good thing.

Does that mean that he'll still be working in a park but back home? Or that he's done with working in parks? Or?

 

some agreement on exclusivity would be nice, yknow?

I might be wrong, but it seems to me that he kind of went out of his way to be in touch with you so far.

 

Anyway, since you're meeting him very soon, you should ask him if he's looking for a relationship or not. Then you decide if you're OK with the answer.

[Underthebodhitree]

I agree that he's gone out of his way. And the trip did seem like a big deal - to me, anyway. It just seems like mixed signals, and he's not overly emotive or mushy to begin with. Or maybe it's just my perception because I think LDRs suck and its made me question every little thing.

 

He is coming back to work at the park here, I'm not sure yet if it's a permanent position or not. If it's seasonal, he'd be here probably through May. And that's plenty of time to know if we have something or not. He has mentioned a couple of times about his "biological clock ticking" so he may be at a point where commitment and putting some roots down seem appealing. I know he's not afraid of commitment; he was married for five years and then had a girlfriend for 2 years after that. I think he is a little nervous of getting involved with someone with kids. But i can't do anything about that.