dilemmaqueen Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 So I met this guy on an online dating site and we hit it off. We talked on the phone for weeks for hours on end and I felt so connected to him, like he was my soulmate -as cheesy as it may sound. We ended up sleeping together on our first date (please don't judge me), it happens to the best of us! We continued to meet nearly every weekend seeing as it is a long distance relationship, but each time we met it was in the evening so we spent the night together and left each other mid afternoon. I have seriously fallen for this guy more than I've ever fallen for anyone in my thirty years of existence. The thing is, communication between us is weird. He does not call me, saying he does not like talking on the phone and that he initially used to call me to see if I was a good person or not and he now knows I am! Whatsapping is getting less and less. He wants me to go and stay with him for a few days in a couple of weeks. I don't know if I should go stay with him or just call it a day... he told me he wants to see the other sides to me so Im assuming he wants to get to know me beyond the physical. We both agreed we would not date anyone else, and I don't know why I am finding it so difficult to walk away from him... what do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Seriously dilemmaqueen what is this all about? The thing is, communication between us is weird. He does not call me, saying he does not like talking on the phone and that he initially used to call me to see if I was a good person or not and he now knows I am! That's the best reason for not calling I've heard for ages ! But in the beginning he used the phone, We talked on the phone for weeks for hours on end This is a red flag, but each time we met it was in the evening so we spent the night together and left each other mid afternoon. = FWB ?? he told me he wants to see the other sides to me doesn't sound very romantic or affectionate - it sounds more like he's choosing a piece of steak. IMO he did just enough to keep you hooked and now he's hooked you, he's doing just enough to keep you there. If he's not calling you, then he's not being attentive. Even if he "doesn't like talking on the 'phone" as he claims, he should respect and care for you enough to call you - regularly. I can't tell you what to do but I'm afraid this "relationship" sounds like it's more than a bit one-sided, and not in your favour. Sorry. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Arieswoman raised good points. You are setting the standard for how you want to be treated. I know, ideally a man should know that by himself. But let's assume he treats women differently in general. Maybe he's used to some dating patterns and not going beyond them. But if he cares enough about you and you are standing out from the crowd, then he should show that. Maybe he wants to use that minivacation at his place to see if there's potential with you to go beyond the simple 'dating'. BUT, did he even date you? Or was he just coming there and spend the night with you? I'd think dating means: taking you out, having dinners together at restaurants, going to the movies, having fun together outside the house, going to events, etc. what do I do? Well, if you don't like the pattern, the best thing to do is to stop that from happening. What sides of you should he get to know? What would be good for him and what not? I guess that if you are: easy, lazy, grumpy, asocial, those 'qualities' wouldn't be good in a girlfriend. Anyway, I have the impression you've been very passive so far and he's doing whatever he likes, regardless of your feelings. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dilemmaqueen Posted October 12, 2014 Author Share Posted October 12, 2014 I've blocked him and deleted his number. I've thought about everything and he is so not worth it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts