Long distance relationship - My story, questions.

[Charles123]

Hello,

 

I am in a long distance relationship. I live 2 hours by plane from my girlfriend that I have been seeing for 3 weeks during summer. We were immediately attracted to each other. It's been now nearly 2 months since I came back and we've been talking every day for few hours ever since. We wake up together saying hello and going to sleep saying goodbye.

 

We have our routine where we do this every day when she wakes up for school along with sending pictures of each other.

 

For the first month when I came back I was ecstatic and euphoric, wanted to talk to her every minute, so did she. She is more experienced in relationships than I am. I have never been in a relationship. I have never had a girlfriend. I have never kissed until this past summer with her. She doesn't know that, she doesn't even know I'm still a virgin, I am 22.

 

We never had real sex, not a penetrative one. We were really intimate - naked for few days straight. She didn't want to have sex but just cuddle, kiss and she allowed for a vaginal stimulation that I performed for the first time. I don't know how I did all that, I have no experience and she said I am really good, but I am afraid of the first time, like hell

 

I am going to see her during Christmas, I already bought a ticket and we are really looking forward to this time. We have so many plans for that time.

 

She had a rough past. She was in a virtual relationship for over a year with a guy that has caused her so much pain. She is very emotional person and a very sensitive and wonderful women.

 

Recently I have realized that my infatuation moment has passed. I no longer feel the euphoria but fear and love. I still want to talk to her all the time whenever we both can. Up until now I never understood what love really is, and it's definitely not infatuation - the constant feeling that nothing matters but you only want to be with her and her only.

 

I feel really involved emotionally so does she, we have created deep trust, we tell each other everything even if it hurts. She is still in the process of rehab from her internet boyfriend that she never saw and never will, but she admits that he's important to her. I understand that. I have committed myself to helping her and being in her tough times which she has a lot, it hurts me when she has them but I will cope with it, so she finally forgets and starts loving me completely.

 

She is a very strong person with beautiful personality and a very intelligent one. I love her dearly but I am afraid. I am constantly afraid now that me or her might stop feeling what we feel now and the thing that scares me sometimes is the time that's left until Christmas. We never really had girlfriend-boyfriend times, as I left home when the infatuation really started, and we haven't really been in an official relationship yet.

 

Please give me some advice as to how to cope with this time left and how to cultivate our love. It hurts as hell. I feel depressed a bunch of the time. Only when I talk to her it's putting a smile on my face. I am afraid

Edited September 17, 2014 by Charles123

[d0nnivain]

Talk as much as possible & keep in touch through various means: calls, Skype, social media, & snail mail. That last one is actually important because it's more tangible.

 

Do a countdown. It's actually not that far until Christmas.

 

Focus on the good not the bad.

[sdrawkcaB ssA]

Donno... fear and love... if you have true love you fear nothing.

 

I have a LDR that we both wish to no end have a moment with each other face to face with. Since we can't we still allow everything what lovers have, but must be more open to each others feelings, needs, and passions.

 

We agreed long ago, that having no destination, hope would drag us down to depths unimaginable. So we allowed our love to be open. In such a way that only few words can describe it. I will try my best... Never take a moment for granted. The sun to most is just a source of light that makes for the day. To a lover, the sun brings joy, passions, warmth and a new. Nobody owns the sun, yet it comes back every day as if it were. Without being asked, or expected, it is part of your life.

 

Giving in to trust like that, will make our love more powerful. If anything fear should only be if you are unsure about if your understandings are not being met. That will come when you find an issue, yet that fear should not keep you from understanding through communication.

 

At least you are able to have contact. It is not how much contact that makes your heart filled with joy, it is what you do when you have your time together. Through time you will understand the deeper you both get in understanding each other, your trust will keep your fears at bay.

 

You have your very own sun, allow your trust to shine with it.

[justwhoiam]

1) Don't make love with her until when you're sure the other guy is completely out of the picture. Make it a matter of principle.

 

2) Make sure this virtual potential ex boyfriend is a real person. There's a lot of catfish around, and the fact that they never met is kind of suspicious, no matter how strong she feels about him being real. Anyway, that doesn't qualify as a real relationship. So when you say she had lots, I hope they were not all virtual.

 

3) Don't be nervous about your first time. I know you will be, but don't focus on that. You'll be fine, just like when you were intimate with her and everything was fine.

 

4) Time till Christmas will fly. Think of a nice present for her.