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he disappeared. so worried


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I have been in a LDR and he is coming back around the end of september for good which we are very excited about. We talked normally on friday night and then saturday till today which is wednesday, I have not been able to get in touch with him which is out of the norm. He usually talks to me on sunday nights through facebook but he has not signed on since the last time we talked. I tried calling him but he wont pick up his phone. Im really worried something happened to him because he has never done this before. Even if hes mad he would be on facebook during work venting to other people even if he doesnt speak to me. We did not fight and the last time we spoke he ended the conversation saying i miss you so much, cant wait till im back. I have to go eat lunch! gotta run! And i have not talked to him since then which is for 5 days. I messaged his best friend and he goes, "you are right, I havent noticed hes not on today. Last time I spoke to him was thursday morning and havent heard from him since then as well which is weird. Now you're getting me worried." What should I do? I am freaking out here!

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Do you have a work number you can call -- his direct line or maybe ask to speak to him through the receptionist? That will tell you if he's there or not.

 

Are your calls going straight to VM or is it ringing? If it's ringing after 5 days of no contact, it means that his phone is charging (he's probably charging it).

 

Has his best friend tried to call him?

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I smell a Catfish...

 

OP, have you ever actually met this person In Real Life?

 

If not, I hazard to guess that his wife discovered his antics.

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What should I do? I am freaking out here!

Ask his friend to please follow-up as soon as possible...check where your b/f is staying, etc.

The other option is to report him as a 'missing person' to his local police department.

 

If you have any reason at all to suspect that CarrieT might be on the right track, then flat-out ask his best friend if the guy is actually married and/or has just decided to not pursue the relationship with you any further.

(Since you said that he is coming back, I assume, though, that you two have been together in same location in the past.)

 

It's tough to stay calm, I know. Big hugs.

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I know for a fact hes not married cause we have known each other before he left. We were friends for around 2 years before we started a relationship. He doesnt have a voicemail. Its long distance call so I had to buy a phone card in order to call him. Its kind of weird though. It rings twice and then goes beep beep for like another 30 seconds and then goes back to ringing. It has worked in the past but the past month whenever i call, he doenst pick up and when i ask him hey i called you, why didnt you pick up, he goes I never got a call or a missed call.

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Yeah, I got the same. OP said he's coming BACK for good at the end of September.

 

Doesn't this guy have any family? Maybe he had an accident or something? I'd be freaking out too with 5 unexpected days of NC.

 

You can try the following:

- calling his work landline

- see if he signed on anywhere else (instagram, twitter, linkedin, whatever...)

- if he has whatsapp, you'll be able to see when he checked his messages for the last time

 

If everything fails, call someone from his family (a sibling maybe).

 

If you really know him well, you can report him as missing, after all the above, but I still think that someone from his family should do that.

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He doesnt have a whatsapp or anything because he doesnt have internet on his phone. He can only check messages on his computer. Facebook messenger said he hasnt logged in since saturday and then since yesterday his timestamp is gone. I know hes not the type of person to just disappear like that. In june, he didnt sign on for one day but he called me instead saying im going on a business trip so I cant go on facebook to talk to you. I dont know if i should report him yet or contact his family yet. He called me once through his work phone so I tried ringing that number up today morning but nobody picked up. Maybe because it was 10 at night there. I am so frustrated. I cant seem to concentrate on anything else because I have this gut feeling something is wrong..

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He called me once through his work phone so I tried ringing that number up today morning but nobody picked up. Maybe because it was 10 at night there. I am so frustrated. I cant seem to concentrate on anything else because I have this gut feeling something is wrong..

 

Try calling the receptionist desk in the AM and ask to speak to him. You'll at least know if he's at work.

 

If that fails, I don't see why you can't call a member of his family. I think nearly a week is enough time to cause concern.

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Contact his family. This much time with zero contact (with you and his friends) is concerning. Please don't wait any longer.

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I will try calling them at night so its morning time there. I hope im overreacting and he has a legitimate reason. I dont to tell his family yet incase im overreacting and i made them worry for no reason. I hope he doesnt think im crazy for calling his work...

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I will try calling them at night so its morning time there. I hope im overreacting and he has a legitimate reason. I dont to tell his family yet incase im overreacting and i made them worry for no reason. I hope he doesnt think im crazy for calling his work...

 

If his best friend thinks it's odd, then I do not think you are overreacting. You're in a relationship, yes? Partners communicate. And if after 6 days of silence, with futile attempts at making contact, then no one will think you are crazy for feeling concerned.

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i went to his sisters facebook and she deactivated it. I dont have any of their numbers.. sighs i am really going crazy here by myself.

 

Try calling his work number tomorrow and if it goes straight to voicemail, call the front desk.

 

If that doesn't work, can you ask his best friend to call his family, if you don't want to do that?

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I think the best thing is to check if he's going to work and tell someone to put you through.

 

If he only has one computer and it crashed or something + his mobile is crap, it's possible he was not able to get in touch with you.

 

I know for a fact about mobiles, because mine is brand new and a smartphone and really sucks. I've been told by people they called me, and it didn't ring, and I didn't even get notified that I missed the call.

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i know this one woman well dont really know her. never talked to her before but i know shes close with him cause they work together and my boyfriend is her son's godfather. I never spoke to her in my life but do you think i should facebook message her and ask her if she knows anything about him? I feel like it would be kind of weird because she probably doesnt know who i am.

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i know this one woman well dont really know her. never talked to her before but i know shes close with him cause they work together and my boyfriend is her son's godfather. I never spoke to her in my life but do you think i should facebook message her and ask her if she knows anything about him? I feel like it would be kind of weird because she probably doesnt know who i am.

 

Even if she thinks it's weird, it will probably help put your mind at ease. You shouldn't be so hesitant to take this step if this man is your boyfriend. Explain who you are and why you are messaging her. I am sure she will understand your concerns. It's an odd situation, and as his girlfriend, it's perfectly acceptable for you to figure out where he's disappeared to.

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i know this one woman well dont really know her. never talked to her before but i know shes close with him cause they work together and my boyfriend is her son's godfather. I never spoke to her in my life but do you think i should facebook message her and ask her if she knows anything about him? I feel like it would be kind of weird because she probably doesnt know who i am.

 

Introduce yourself and tell her that you're worried as he hasn't been responding to your messages and that it's been a week. I'm sure she'll understand. If he works with her, why don't you call his work and speak to the receptionist and if she says he hasn't been in, maybe you can ask to be transferred to her. I don't check my FB for days so you don't know when she may even notice your message.

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Should i be like hey, im xyz and im _____'s girlfriend. I havent been able to get in touch with ____ for 5 days so I was wondering if you have seen him at work or talked to him at all during those days. I am worried he is in trouble somewhere because of no contact. Sorry for the bother.

Something along these lines?

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Should i be like hey, im xyz and im _____'s girlfriend. I havent been able to get in touch with ____ for 5 days so I was wondering if you have seen him at work or talked to him at all during those days. I am worried he is in trouble somewhere because of no contact. Sorry for the bother.

Something along these lines?

 

You don't know this woman, so don't start of with "hey, I'm..." She's not hey. Address her properly.

 

Ms. Friend, we haven't been formally introduced but I'm Madeline, Mr. Missing's girlfriend. Mr. Missing has mentioned you to me and that you both work together so I hope you can help me. I'm sorry for reaching out under these circumstances but I'm very concerned as I have not heard from him for nearly a week and I'm worried that something may be wrong. My attempts to contact him have been futile. Would you be able to at least confirm that he is safe and well? It would really help alleviate my worry. Thanks so much for you help.

Edited by Zahara
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When did he quit? Has he ever mentioned contemplating quitting? I would still send a note to that lady or have the best friend make contact with his family.

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he was planning to quit because hes planning to come back at the end of september for good. He did say he was going to quit at the end of august but he might have to stay a little longer because he has to get paid. He never mentioned that friday was gonna be his last day when we spoke on friday night which is odd. I feel like he wouldve told me hey today is my last day so if i cant talk to you since i have no internet dont worry. Its odd that hes not picking up his phone unless he disconnected it already. I guess ill send a note to the lady and see what she has to say. The coworker i talked to on the phone said hes still in the country and didnt leave.

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more like his boss lol he just told me your boyfriend quit his job but hes still in the country.

 

I think the previous poster meant that it's concerning that you didn't know. i.e. Other people know more of his whereabouts than you, which is odd.

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