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What do you do when you really miss your SO?


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What are some tips you guys can share? Usually when I'm sad I'll call my bf and he cheers me up, but with the time difference I find it doesn't work out like that and I'm on my own a lot.

 

I also just am super anxious and not sleeping well in general :(

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HeavenOrHell

When I was in an LDR, if I missed him I'd call or text, or ask if we could skype. I'd make sure my social life was as busy as possible and that life in general was busy. I'd call friends.

If you dwell on it it becomes too much, in my experience.

 

One thing I have learned is that I was, and I think my ex was too, too focussed on each other rather than on our lives at home, and it makes you miss each other and then it becomes unbearable as you feel low and distracted and unsettled.

 

 

 

What are some tips you guys can share? Usually when I'm sad I'll call my bf and he cheers me up, but with the time difference I find it doesn't work out like that and I'm on my own a lot.

 

I also just am super anxious and not sleeping well in general :(

Edited by HeavenOrHell
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I'm in the same position as you OP. I'm struggling to sleep and thinking about it all of the time.

I miss him terribly and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.

 

I know I'm luckier than some, having him closeish but 4 hours away is still long.

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What do you do when you really miss your SO?

 

I take this means when I miss him and he's not around.

 

I read what he wrote in my diary, he even made drawings in it.

I smell his t-shirts.

I can bake a cake.

I look at his stuff.

I go shopping.

I read a book.

I work.

I call a friend.

I make up my face.

I take a nap.

I daydream.

I watch a movie.

I play with children.

I think of what we could do next time with meet.

I do the laundry and other chores.

I take a bath.

etc.

 

I used to do lots of stuff for him too, but lately not much anymore. I decided to take a temporary break from that, for various reasons.

Edited by justwhoiam
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I would address the anxiousness.

Being anxious is different than simply missing him, and implies worry.

 

Are you worried you two won't make it?

Is there an event on the horizon you're concerned about?

 

My SO and I have an eight hour time difference, so I can relate.

 

If he's asleep, I still send stream-of-consciousness texts (the poor man), though he wont see them until morning.

He*says* he likes them.

 

I watch videos we've taken on vacation. :)

 

I make activity plans for when we see each other next.

 

I work on projects (like applying voice overs to said videos) as surprises for his amusement.

 

And, just as HoH suggested, I try to balance life.

That's great, great advice she's given.

Check in and see if you aren't overemphasizing the RL.

 

And if I'm a million miles off about the anxiety--and you're simply missing him, I know the feels. :(

It's not easy.

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sdrawkcaB ssA

I am and my LDR are never sad in missing each other, just have a deep longing til we meet again to IM, Voice or Video chat. This has been going on for over 3 years now.

 

When I have free time I do a few things each day to send to her while she is not available. As we send clips and messages back and forth on a daily basis.

 

I do a video or audio recording

Write a letter of things I think of about her or us in general

Search for places of interest near her location for her to try or just hold for us to do, if that should come about.

Review a small collection of personal things she has sent me

Some times I buy a wee item to send her, as we both are not materialistic, but want to share something that we can touch and admire.

We share everything as if we are together, right down to deep personal issues, thoughts and secrets. So what I send is everything from my heart and soul, even if I tease and jest about not being so serious there is seriousness hidden to delight her as if we are holding each other.

 

We both are very passionate people and are finding ways to make being apart be as close as being naked and intertwined.

 

It is not what you do to pass the moments of waiting, it is how well you share yourself in each moment. Txting can be as fulfilling as a love letter, if you make each word special and have meaning even if she is asleep or unable to txt back. We have put txting to the way side, as it is not needed for us any more. We don't want distractions, and know every minute of the day we think of each other.

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sdrawkcaB ssA
I would address the anxiousness.

Being anxious is different than simply missing him, and implies worry.

 

Are you worried you two won't make it?

Is there an event on the horizon you're concerned about?

 

My SO and I have an eight hour time difference, so I can relate.

 

If he's asleep, I still send stream-of-consciousness texts (the poor man), though he wont see them until morning.

He*says* he likes them.

 

I watch videos we've taken on vacation. :)

 

I make activity plans for when we see each other next.

 

I work on projects (like applying voice overs to said videos) as surprises for his amusement.

 

And, just as HoH suggested, I try to balance life.

That's great, great advice she's given.

Check in and see if you aren't overemphasizing the RL.

 

And if I'm a million miles off about the anxiety--and you're simply missing him, I know the feels. :(

It's not easy.

 

I agree, and would put a like but I figured a simple reply is good enough.

 

In any relationship, if you cannot get passed anxiety or clingy feelings it will fail.

 

LDR requires an open policy, you must trust full heartedly and allow freedoms. Just because your given it both ways, does not mean the both of you are free to do as you please. But in true love, the both of you will come closer and closer to the point of why bother looking elsewhere. It is an open commitment to your hearts. Once that is done, you'll never feel a separation between you in any way.

 

I did not choose or expect an LDR, it sort of fell in my lap. If you are not prepared for such a thing, it will be very difficult to keep. I liken it to marriage in an odd way. If you want it to be fruitful in the long run no matter how long it takes, you must commit to being honest and open with your deepest feelings even if you are afraid the other will say WTF and turn away. As it is the fairest thing to do.

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I think I both miss him and I'm also worried. Although I'm not sure of what.

 

My bf is being really great at keeping in contact and we talk everyday and skype once a week. He has given me absolutely no reason to worry. But I am worried about a lot of things - I'm worried I'm going to stay sad for a very long time, I'm worried he is going to fall out of love with me because of the distance, and I'm worried we won't make it til December.

 

None of the worries involving him are founded in anything he has said or done, but I just worry in general. Sometimes it's scary to love someone so much and be so far away.

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I am just not doing well with this in general. I find I am sad all the time, and I'm crying a lot. I keep having these nightmares that the next time I talk to him he is just going to break up with me. I am just feeling really insecure in this relationship. It is also really hard when he travels because then I can't contact him at all.

 

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice for me at all?? Does it get better? Or will I feel like this for the next 3 months until I see him?:

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I am just not doing well with this in general. I find I am sad all the time, and I'm crying a lot. I keep having these nightmares that the next time I talk to him he is just going to break up with me. I am just feeling really insecure in this relationship. It is also really hard when he travels because then I can't contact him at all.

 

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice for me at all?? Does it get better? Or will I feel like this for the next 3 months until I see him?:

 

I don't think it really gets any better. LDRs are not easy but time goes by and before you know it, 3 months will have passed and seeing him will make it all worth it.

 

Let him know how you're feeling. Maybe write him a letter. If you can't mail it to him, you can take a picture of it and send it that way.

 

My SO is on my mind pretty constantly but I try to keep busy or think of things we can do when we are together. I try to think of positive things that will happen instead of dwelling on the possibility that things will go wrong.

 

Good luck OP.

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sdrawkcaB ssA
I am just not doing well with this in general. I find I am sad all the time, and I'm crying a lot. I keep having these nightmares that the next time I talk to him he is just going to break up with me. I am just feeling really insecure in this relationship. It is also really hard when he travels because then I can't contact him at all.

 

Does anyone have any thoughts or advice for me at all?? Does it get better? Or will I feel like this for the next 3 months until I see him?:

 

Gosh, that is so harsh on you... You would not believe my side of my LDR, but you can have a full and wonderful LDR if you both communicate... I mean email messages here and there to allow time between contact. TXT messages are a bit distracting in that they always are expected. Once you get them, it is hard to pull away.

 

I know you are scared, and I was sure I always told my LDR how I felt everyday. She got to the point of stop that, I know. But I still do, not as directly but in ways that are personal.

 

Early part of LDR is touchy, it takes being open, allowing each other to be free as if dating. Once you gain confidence in how well things are going along, and feeling a connex that keeps the both of you wanting more, yet able to meet on IM for a moment or two helps.

 

For us we get one Video IM a week, and it is not guaranteed. Maybe 3 IM Voice chats but random and not all the time. Mostly IM texts 3 times a week. Some short some long.

 

As long as we are communicating our thoughts and wants everything seems to be soothing for us both.

 

Tell him how you feel and like wise

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I talk to him pretty often, and that makes me happy, but I'm sad the rest of the time. Every morning I wake up and I just think how he should be lying next to me.

 

One big problem that is making me anxious is that I don't know when I am going to see him next. He is still trying to find a job so he said he needs to think about if Christmas is a good time for me to come. The problem is that Christmas is the soonest I can visit (as I am in school) and I just keep thinking why he is even doing LDR if he is not jumping at the chance for me to book a ticket? I get he is stressed, but it just worries me.

 

But then at the same time, we have been apart for almost a month and we talk nearly every night and skype once a week too. And he is vocal about missing me and how much he cares about me. I'm trying not to read too much into the "thinking about it" comment because we can't talk until he gets back from his trip. I just can't stop thinking about it.

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me and my boyfriend have a scrapbook full of pictures and hes written a little page about me and the things he loves about me and theres like train tickets and cinema tickets and just loads of stuff like birthday cards and valentines cards! make a scrapbook, its seriously makes me so happy, also, try writing each other letters

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me and my boyfriend have a scrapbook full of pictures and hes written a little page about me and the things he loves about me and theres like train tickets and cinema tickets and just loads of stuff like birthday cards and valentines cards! make a scrapbook, its seriously makes me so happy, also, try writing each other letters

 

I actually made him a scrap book for valentines day last year! He really loved it. And we do write letters! Well, mostly I write letters, he says he is not as good with words. But he sends me romantic emails and when I am sad I re-read them. But that is such a good idea! I have also have a bunch of pictures of us on my wall in my room (it kinds makes me feel like a teenager again but I just love having them around).

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hey, i know what you feel like, i feel the same right now. it's been 8 days and i don't really know how to cope. just keep on keeping on, but agree that mornings are the worst - waking up realising time is just not passing and you'll be waking up alone for the next 5 months - it's a pretty ****ty feeling…

so, yeah, welcome to the club. i have no clue what to do about this either.

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hey, i know what you feel like, i feel the same right now. it's been 8 days and i don't really know how to cope. just keep on keeping on, but agree that mornings are the worst - waking up realising time is just not passing and you'll be waking up alone for the next 5 months - it's a pretty ****ty feeling…

so, yeah, welcome to the club. i have no clue what to do about this either.

 

Yeah, it's really a struggle. I find I have good days and bad days. Sometimes I just spend an hour crying in bed. And then I find the next day I can be more okay. But I can't really give any advice except find more shows to watch and try and hang out with friends. But even then, it's not like I ever stop thinking about him.

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