lftmyheartintx Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I know I am going to get major crap for posting this. Ugh. Anyway, we met online a few months back. He is married and preparing for divorce. I'm super unhappy and will be leaving my current situation as soon as I can. We already know we're in love. I went and visited him in person last weekend. It was amazing. I've been really depressed since leaving him, as I just want to be with him always. Obviously we both have situations to deal with before that can happen and we're working towards that. I'm just wondering when/if this will ever get better? I hate this sad, heart sick feeling I have. He is in limbo in his current job and may be transferring to a location that is only one state away from me, so I'm sort of just waiting til we hear about that before I make my next attempt to visit him. He says that seeing each other in person was supposed to "break the ice" and make things easier, which it seems it has for him. Me, not so much. I'm just so heart sick. Anyone out there experience anything similar? Link to post Share on other sites
Zeurich Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 He is married but getting a divorce - you are in a relationship but sick of it. Why don't you first get your self out and then think about another? How do you so sure if he is getting a divorce as far you both have a LDR? cannot he is playing? The best healthy way just get out from the relationship and think from there. Other wise you make your own mess very badly. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TAV Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I agree with Zeurich; get your stuff sorted before you get deeper involved with this other man. There is never a good time to end a relationship so stop making silly excuses and end it if you need to. And do not end it because of this other man but end it because it is best for you. I cannot offer you advice on your situation but I can tell you how hard it is to have a new relationship after a split or divorce. After I was newly divorced I started developing feelings for someone who I had been online friends with for quite some time. This person also recently came out of a bad marriage. We are still together now, 2 yrs later,but it has not been easy. Next to the obvious disadvantages of a LDR we both have wondered if we were each other's rebound relationships, we both dealt with the aftermath - 'mourning' our marriages - which made both of us, in turns, down or scared of this new relationship, when my ex found out about my new bf he became jealous and threatened him which put our relationship under pressure, my bf and his ex, on the other hand, got along well after their divorce which made me feel insecure at first, afraid they'd get back together. So please be aware that this won't be a fairytale romance since you both have a lot of baggage. If I had to do it all over again I think I would have preferred to wait till the dust had settled a bit. As I said I knew my bf for some time already (1,5 yr) before we ever starting thinking of each other as more than friends. I knew what he was like, I knew that we had a lot in common and I knew that our love was based on a strong and loyal friendship. You have only been talking to this man a few months. How much do you know about him; are you sure you are not just using him as your escape from your current relationship (maybe that is why you feel so lousy now? Maybe you want an instant solution, a happy pill to take you away from your current situation?) Are you sure he is not using you in the same way or that he even is really getting divorced, that he is not having multiple online/RL relationships on the side? Try to keep your head clear in all this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 we met online a few months back. Few months of talking to one another remotely, and just one visit: do not decide your entire life based on your newborn current feelings. He is married and preparing for divorce. What does preparing for divorce mean? Does it mean a long road leading to that? Like a year or so, or more? Are there children? We already know we're in love. I went and visited him in person last weekend. Why was it you traveling for your first 'date'? I'm just wondering when/if this will ever get better? Well, it looks like you're ready for things to get better, as in you're ready to leave your current partner. Is he? It's not clear from your post. He didn't express real commitment yet. I think it's too early, and he's just being wise. Even if he has a crush on you, he's only ready to get to know you right now. He is in limbo in his current job and may be transferring to a location that is only one state away from me, so I'm sort of just waiting til we hear about that before I make my next attempt to visit him. Moving nearer to where you live would mean he could see you more often and not necessarily leaving his family. So he might kill two birds with one stone... Anyway, why would it still be you traveling the second time? He says that seeing each other in person was supposed to "break the ice" and make things easier You realize he sounds more casual about meeting up with you, don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
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