MathewP Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 My girlfriend and I have been in a secret long distance relationship for about 2 months. How far? About 10,000 miles. I live in Britain and she lives in Australia. The distance and time difference (8.5 hours) makes things sorta awkward, coupled with the fact that our families can't possibly ever know. My mother is Christian and my girlfriend is an atheist. My mom would never let me date her. We met on the internet in March '14, and became bf and gf in may. We're managing as we are, but the relationship's becoming dull due to the lack of things we can do. And our plans for the future makes things even worse. Next year, I plan to go into the navy, and she plans to go to university (for 9 years). I have no chance at all of meeting her until she finishes, but neither of us wants to wait 10 years to meet. We have no idea what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 Not to sound harsh, but why bother with a LDR that isn't going anywhere? I honestly don't see the point in continuing this. Too many strikes against it. Link to post Share on other sites
remote Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 You guys sound young. Parents are one thing, you can take it slow with them. Our parents didn't know about our relationship at the start too. But I agree with ExpatInItaly, if you can't see an end to your LDR and 10 years is a very long time for an LDR especially without meeting, not sure if it's worth pursuing. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted August 3, 2014 Share Posted August 3, 2014 (edited) My mother is Christian and my girlfriend is an atheist. My mom would never let me date her. We met on the internet in March '14, and became bf and gf in may. Dear Mathew, why, why would you ever call a girl you never met or seen in the flesh your girlfriend? Don't you want to be in person with her and be sure of the girl you chose? You can confess to each other that you have a crush on one another, but the wise thing to do is we'll only be in a relationship after we meet in person and if we feel butterflies for one another, like we're in love with one another while meeting and after that. You cannot call a girl your girlfriend out of boredom, or because you feel like having a gf so bad because your friends have one, or because you never had one before... Whatever your case is, be serious about having a girlfriend. She will expect things from you. Things you can't or are not willing to give. Regarding your mother. If she's a real Christian, and not just labeling herself one, she will love your girlfriend (whoever she may be), because she's the girl you chose, regardless of her looks, personality, religion, whatever. She can advise you, she can warn you, but choices are yours. A mother is there to guide you, not to decide for you. That said, I know what you mean. She will think an atheist is not good for you. Now you need to think with your brain. Is an atheist good for you? What do you wish for yourself? What will happen at Christmas, Easter, etc? Will she want to be on her own, away from your family? Will she despise, deride/mock/ridicule your religion/your family, its traditions and rites? Please consider all this carefully. How would you want to raise your children? Answer all these questions for yourself, without thinking of your mother. Your mother will be gone one day, and you'll have to go on with your life. the relationship's becoming dull due to the lack of things we can do Really? Are you sure you're in love with her? Do you feel excited just thinking of when you'll be with her? Sorry, but I can't see that reading your post. I can tell you it's not normal when you're in love with someone that things get dull in 2 months. I'm still hyperexcited after 3 years and counting. I have times when I feel sad of course... but always for a reason, like we argued, etc. But this is not your case. It's like it's dying out on its own. Next year, I plan to go into the navy, and she plans to go to university (for 9 years). I have no chance at all of meeting her until she finishes, but neither of us wants to wait 10 years to meet. We have no idea what to do. Well, I guess it's just more honest if you keep in touch as friends and live your own separate lives. You'll find girls who'll make your head turn, and you'll feel butterflies for one of them. And you'll know that she's the one. Don't make promises to some girl you barely know and most of all, you never met and can't meet in the next 9 years. Edited August 3, 2014 by justwhoiam 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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