My Sister and My Boyfriend

[mmachix]

Hey all. I'm new here. I need some advice cause I'm confused. I have been talking to this guy for the past 8 months. He used to be a UFC fighter a few years ago. I remember seeing him on The Ultimate Fighter reality show and I instantly fell in love with him. Anyways I went to the states to meet him. I live in Canada. I met him twice already. Once in June for three days, and we got along very well. Then I met him in July, and I spent two weeks with him. All we had was sex all the time, and he always told me he loved me, and was very affectionate and nurturing.

 

When we were talking the past 8 months it was on and off. Anyways he recently added my sister to fb. This is after I left to come home. Within the past week he has been flirting with her. Liking everything she post on fb and even commenting flirtatous things, all the mean while brushing me aside.

 

I think he is angry that I left. I can tell. He started texting me today saying that I don't love him. I explained that I have for a long time. I saw him asking my sister to come to where he is on a post. He wants us both. I can't take it.

 

Oh and my sister, I have told her please don't talk to him, like, or respond back and she is still doing it. This is hurting me. She keeps saying that he is not her type, and that she doesn't like him, yet she sends smileys on the post he leaves, and kinda flirts back. She just got out of a 5 year long relationship with some jerk in Texas.

 

I keep telling her that this guy loves me, and I think that he is just trying to get back at me for leaving. I know, and I can feel that she has a crush on him. I can just feel it. I haven't spoken to her for years, and we have recently just connected. She has her own guy friends that she hangs out with. I don't know why she is doing this to me? Side note don't know if this matter, she is slightly overweight, while I am not. I have done modeling in California.

 

This man also showed me off to all his friends and on his fb. He made it clear that I am his girl. His friends even hit on me, and I brush them off. I'm in love with him, and don't know what to do. This man also told me that he wants to have a child with me, and she is doing this. I told her this over and over again to stop speaking to him and delete him, and she hasn't. I feel, like I said that he is lashing out cause I left.

 

He even looked sad when I left. What do I do about my sister to keep her at bay. She tells me she is just pretending but I don't believe it. One minute she says he is gross, the next she is flirting when he talks to her. This is my boyfriend, not hers. I would never do this to her. What do I do?

Edited August 2, 2014 by mmachix

[justwhoiam]

I might be wrong but he doesn't seem to be a keeper. I mean, why is it always you traveling to him? What did he do for you? Did he do anything special?

 

Don't focus on your sister. You already told her to stop, she just doesn't listen. I guess she doesn't live where you're at and all your interactions are through FB. So keep those conversations where she says he's not her type, she doesn't like him, have her chat with you on FB and say anything about him. Then you visit him and take your laptop/tablet with you and show him all those conversations. And tell him: see, this is my sister. She is playing with you. I'm not appreciating this. Now you decide what you want. Have a secure password on your laptop/tablet. Shouldn't you have one, then use your mobile.

 

Good luck. But I guess he might be a player too. A serial flirter.

[ExpatInItaly]

So, is this man actually your boyfriend? You say you've been "talking" to him. Have you established commitment and exclusivity? If not, I wouldn't go so far as to call him a boyfriend. Your sister isn't the only problem. I get a bad feeling about him, too. If he's so in love with you, why is he inviting your sister to come and meet him? He's got "player" written all over him, and he knows exactly how to snag you: he says he loves you and wants children (really? after 8 off-and-on months of "talking"?) He is showing you some serious red flags too.

[mmachix]

I told my sister today to stop talking to him. She got really offended and now she won't talk to me. I then text this guy and told him thank you for ruining my peace making with my sister after ten years of us fighting. She deactivated her fb an now she won't talk to me. he messed things up. He did not respond to my text.

[mmachix]

Can somebody please help me I really need an answer. This morning I got a text from my sister and a screen shot of her saying that the same guy added her to hangouts and she never gave him or info. So I asked him and he said no she added him. She made it look like he was harassing her and stalking, and I know he doesn't do that. She kept telling me to block him. What is her deal, what's going on. Somebody help with insight. She started drama with me and I am at work atm. She pretends that he is gross but I know its the opposite. Every man I have she tries to steal.

[Smilecharmer]

Aside from obvious sibling rivalry, you are mistaking a crush for love. He told you he loved you to have sex. He isn't interested anymore. You are of no use to him if you aren't having sex with him. I think he is a jerk who uses women and can play act for your benefit to get you to do what he wants. The fact that you have to travel to him and he is actively pursuing your sister should tell you this guy is a jerk. Why do you think this is acceptable?

[Zahara]

So, spending 17 days with him having sex (huge red flag), and the rest of your time together over phone/text, etc., he's proclaimed to love you and wants to have a child with you? Ridicilous. Just because he has shown you off to his friends on a social site, that has significant meaning to how much he's invested in a relationship with you? He's even wanting your sister to visit him?

 

It's all sounding very immature and destructive. There are too many red flags.

[Tayken]

OP.....Hmmmm, you contact an ex UFC fighter you had a crush on, and went to the US to meet him without knowing history and everything? I mean what man in their right mind wouldn't jump at that opportunity to bang someone for 2 weeks providing they are half decent looking?

 

He obviously isn't looking for more than you were expecting, and his actions are speaking louder. Now he wants to add your sister to his list of groupies conquest.

 

You obviously thought this could be your opportunity to move to the US i.e. get work permit/Green card. No men here in Canada that take your fancy then...what about George St Pierre?

[stillafool]

Your sister is wrong to lead him on. I doubt if she wants him but is somewhat flattered by his attention to her. Her being slightly overweight means nothing. I too am thin and most guys these days like a little meat on the bone so don't think that he doesn't think she's attractive. You should dump him because he's not in love with you or he wouldn't be doing this.