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My LDR experince


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BridgetGrey

Years ago if you would have told I would be writing a post about my LDR in a site I would be like NO LOL . But I actually did the LDR even though I was I was a big advocate of never doing it.

 

I would say I was always cold and not that social so my other relationships before this one didn't count. I met a guy online and I liked him and we formed a strong friendship for 2 years talking about politics and our personal stuff. I kinda knew we both liked each as more than friends , but I never crossed the line as I know my boundaries and I didn't wanna do it because of the distance.

After he saddled 2 hours away from my country by plane we started talking almost daily we shared same interest and values did not believe in marriage and wanted to achieve our own things. He was seeing this other girl who was so held up on marriage and then I went aboard first year, I was hurting too much because I had feelings for him yet he was seeing this other girl.

When I told him I had feelings for him he broke things with this girl and we started dating long distance Skype and Imessages and all form of stuff.

 

The first 2-3 months were like a honeymoon he would call daily and we would text all day. He did 4 years in the same place I was so he would guide me and tell me what to do. He finally visited me after 2 and half year it was a magical , but from there I knew it wasn't going to work deep for the following reasons :

 

_ My ex never wanted marriage and I was actually warming up to it a bit because I was in love with him.

 

_ While me and my ex were together I sensed that we had massive and so did he age and experience wise. Now of course I asked do you think it's gonna work and he said ooh the gaps aren't a big issue.

 

When he left I was kinda depressed because I knew this kind of physical intimacy will never be not replaced by Skype or any texts ...

 

Months later on he got busy with work and I know he was not lying as I know his work and family are demanding , but he stop putting any effort and the communication died down and so did the relationship. For 3 months I was thinking of ending it as I was unhappy but I didn't wanna let him go because I loved and I hope one day we will be together.

 

The reality is that love is not enough and when I sent him a 100 text message and yes people I was drunk and I messed up and going through an academic hard time . The was what set the deal for him , 2 weeks later he didn't have the courage to break up but he said it wasn't working long distance , and will never warm up to marriage love died down:rolleyes: now of course I was heart broken because this guy he was my first love and someone I trusted with my heart.

 

I basically gathered myself up after days after the idiot did not bother to contact on his B-day leaving me hanging and ended things in a classy way telling him we are in different stages and you been a good friend but I have to let you go as it's not working .

 

 

 

Now let's be clear I was not a saint in the relationship I kinda cheated after the communication lacked kissed another and I knew my ex shortcomings when we where friends and yet I jumped into this. My ex was not a demon but I concluded he is not relationship material and the long distance and different life stages played a big role and tore us apart.

 

Now this my experience where I would say you can't go back and undo but the friendship may not recover after the relationship failed. I don't think LDR are doomed for failure BTW , but just have a end game plan where you both live in the city or country and be sure your in the same stages at your lives.

 

Long distance only work if two sides plan to end the distance someday I think.

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