Johansen90 Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 (edited) Hello... My girlfriend is living away right now as part of her summer job, and has recently met a new friend. Or at least may have known her a few weeks. This friend of hers she has mentioned is 'Lesbian'. My girlfriend is bisexual. I only know that she is a lesbian because my girlfriend casually dropped it in the conversation when she was saying about how "so and so was upset over her relationship with her girlfriend", they were on the rocks and were having a week of no contact, to then see how they feel afterwards. Recently, me and my girlfriend have been somewhat distant, due to her being away, and her meeting new friends. This has understandably added to my mental health issues, and exacerbated my anxiety and paranoia. Firstly, I suspected she was getting close to this other female friend (of whom she always chatted about)-- but since she always talks about her, I deduced that perhaps she wouldn't be the ideal candidate if my girlfriend were to cheat with her-- since normally people talk less about the people they are going to do so with. This is where my concerns creep in....since this girl who is lesbian has only just being brought into the equitation, at a time when me and my girlfriend were also having issues in our relationship. It seemed odd she mentioned shes lesbian and that she is having issues with her gf-- and having a week away from one and other. My girlfriend had been off it with me-- due to our arguments, and last night she was telling about how she was comforting this friend of hers at a party, since she was upset. Now all of a sudden my girlfriend is all nice to me, and recently apologized for being 'moody with me-- is telling me she loves me loads. Could this be assumed to be guilty conscience on her part? It all seems a bit sudden, she mentions this lesbian friend-- shes conveniently having issues in their relationship. Their situation also resembles mine and my gf's situation. I.e. both long distance, both are having issues and frustrated. I really hope my girlfriend isn't keeping me on the hook or stringing me along until someone else comes along. The timing is just so odd-- almost like she was considering or hoping they'd end their relationship. So they could be together, but maybe she sees no chance of this, and so 'butters me up' with compliments to keep me around. What do you all think? -- im male btw Edited July 24, 2014 by Johansen90 minor edit Link to post Share on other sites
Tbisb74 Posted July 24, 2014 Share Posted July 24, 2014 I think you hope for the best but prepare for the worst. And remember: regardless of gender or a person's sexual persuasion, cheating is still, and always, cheating. Sounds like your GF is beginning to invest in this, surreptitiously. Who knows how far this has gone already...? In any case, at this stage, at face value it has all the makings of an EA. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Johansen90 Posted July 24, 2014 Author Share Posted July 24, 2014 I think you hope for the best but prepare for the worst. And remember: regardless of gender or a person's sexual persuasion, cheating is still, and always, cheating. Sounds like your GF is beginning to invest in this, surreptitiously. Who knows how far this has gone already...? In any case, at this stage, at face value it has all the makings of an EA. I am hoping for the best, and I believe she does love me-- I'm just not sure if her telling me she "loves me" at this time is her way of 'saving her ass'. I'll probably never find out-- as for weeks I've had arguments with her, and she tells me that I should trust her more. That it "upsets her I don't trust her", that it feels like "im always second-guessing everything she says", that "I don't believe anything she tells me". The reality is; even when I go down to see her soon, more than likely, I will NOT find anything incriminating or suggestive of cheating, because I believe she will have deleted messages, or contacts. I do know shes recently added her on facebook, where before she wasn't on her friends list. But I remember two weeks back-- her name was mentioned. So I know they've been mates for so long, until recently added her. I just feel shes doing the whol 'monkey branch thing', of she wants this girl (potentially), but because her relationship is potentially on the mend (I dont know this), then she is going to stick with me-- explaining her all of a sudden smiley, chirpy attitude. I know that when people cheat they tend to keep it separate from their lovers--but my girlfriend did in fact tell me about her at least. Perhaps she was pushing me to split up with her I dunno. That's the all important question- How far as it gone already?? The magic question! Who knows-- I'd like to find out, but have no way of tactics towards doing just that. Do you have any ideas for me to find out? I am going to visit her soon-- not sure if I'll ever meet this person. She tells me shes busy until the day I meet her so she won't be able to talk-- yet she tells me that shes free to talk to me later tonight (contradiction much!). This kind of makes sense, since I recieved an odd message from her over facebook-- in which she asked: "hey sorry I missed your call my phone was in other room, im free to chat if you want {insert 5 lines of kisses}" When i told her that I didn't ring her. She responded with "your name came up on my phone and thought it was from you but wasn't- sorry babes". See thread I made about this here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/general/general-relationship-discussion/486774-received-odd-message-ldr-girlfriend Not sure what to think of all this. I think I need to see her in person to make sense of all this. Link to post Share on other sites
asellus Posted July 26, 2014 Share Posted July 26, 2014 I suppose that is unacceptable, I don't believe somebody can love two persons at the same time. Everybody has to choose one of them Link to post Share on other sites
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