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Hi

20 Year old man from the netherlands here deeply in love with an 18 year old girl from mexico

I just have a simple question

If you'd know these things for sure what would you do?

1. You love her more than anything even though there are over 9000kilometres between us

2. She loves you as much as you love her only she is worried that it doesn't work because of the distance

3. You are able to get money to see her even though it will obviously not be as many times as with a local girl ofcourse

4. You already know that you are willing to move over to mexico to be with her if you can get a job there and settle down with her

5. and finally you would know that living my life without her isn't even living anymore, what is life without the one person you truly love

 

What would you do? (just want some opinions)

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ExpatInItaly

What would I do? I would give my head a shake. And I would give myself a reality check. And I would wonder why I invested so heavily in someone I have never met and likely will never meet.

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Hi

20 Year old man from the netherlands here deeply in love with an 18 year old girl from mexico

I just have a simple question

If you'd know these things for sure what would you do?

1. You love her more than anything even though there are over 9000kilometres between us

2. She loves you as much as you love her only she is worried that it doesn't work because of the distance

3. You are able to get money to see her even though it will obviously not be as many times as with a local girl ofcourse

4. You already know that you are willing to move over to mexico to be with her if you can get a job there and settle down with her

5. and finally you would know that living my life without her isn't even living anymore, what is life without the one person you truly love

 

What would you do? (just want some opinions)

 

#1 - #3 ok. #4 You're naive. You probably don't even have an education finalized. Mexico is overflowing of labor. It's very hard to get a permit that allows you to work unless if you're highly qualified or get married. Even if you met her (which I doubt you have, bc you probably would have mentioned it) you wouldn't know her long enough to start a serious intercultural RS. She's 18... at least another 7 years of forming her adult mind. You don't want to up and leave from your home land for that.

 

#5 is surely what you feel like. But honestly, it's not true. You will live without her. I currently live now without my most recent ex in my life. A few days ago I stumbled upon some old saved chat with her. She said "Don't ever leave me. I need you. I can't be without you." I replied "Neither can I. I love you, like I never loved someone nor will I ever love someone like I love you now." And there were other sweet stupidities like this. I'm just fine.

 

Now some practical advice. Go see her, have fun with her. But forget about moving to a developing country (which Mexico is for a large part) for an 18 yo crush.

Eventually you will both move on and it's going to be OK.

 

Best of luck!

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Hi!

 

If that was me I would try to form a relationship with that person and work from there. I'm 3 1/2+ years into a cross country LDR (granted we are on the same continent). We visit each other every 4-6 months taking turns who goes to the other. The only way that you will know if you're compatible is by spending time together. We Skype every day almost even if it's only for a little (we didn't do it that much in the beginning... we just like spending time together). It's really hard but if you can make it for a long tie then start looking into how to make it work. Don't bother stressing yourself over if you can get a job there if you don'y know for sure that it's what you want.

 

Then start researching visas (this is the process me and my SO are in right now). You'll notice that it's very expensive and is quite a process. So make sure that you're working hard to be financially responsible and saving up money while you're seeing if the relationship is going to work.

 

I was 17 and my SO was 19 when we started dating and like I mentioned we have been together happily in a healthy relationship for 3+ years.

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#1 - #3 ok. #4 You're naive. You probably don't even have an education finalized. Mexico is overflowing of labor. It's very hard to get a permit that allows you to work unless if you're highly qualified or get married. Even if you met her (which I doubt you have, bc you probably would have mentioned it) you wouldn't know her long enough to start a serious intercultural RS. She's 18... at least another 7 years of forming her adult mind. You don't want to up and leave from your home land for that.

 

#5 is surely what you feel like. But honestly, it's not true. You will live without her. I currently live now without my most recent ex in my life. A few days ago I stumbled upon some old saved chat with her. She said "Don't ever leave me. I need you. I can't be without you." I replied "Neither can I. I love you, like I never loved someone nor will I ever love someone like I love you now." And there were other sweet stupidities like this. I'm just fine.

 

Now some practical advice. Go see her, have fun with her. But forget about moving to a developing country (which Mexico is for a large part) for an 18 yo crush.

Eventually you will both move on and it's going to be OK.

 

Best of luck!

 

Hi,

 

Just wanted to let you know that the link in your signature no longer accepts replies/posts.

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Hi. I've been reading your other posts to have a backgroud of what's happening to you. I only can say that a long distance relationship is not for everyone, you need to be more mature, patient and have more trust in each other more than any situation. She looks like kind of scared and unstable, and using distance as an excuse, because if you can assure you will be able to travel someday, i don't see the problem on that. But not everybody can stand the distance, is like a very taugh trial, proving what you are able to do for love, only the ones who can handle it recieve the big prize :)

 

Is this the first time you fall in love virtually? If so, take into account you could be reflexing some loneliness; don't stick to this girl if you are not totally sure about her.

 

For how much have you been talking? I wouldn't pledge on someone that I met since few months ago, specially if other country. Take it with calm day by day.

 

And don't plan already on marrying or moving.. sounds a lot like forcing a relationship, and you need time to know each other in person. It's a slow process

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First of all, have you seen a picture of her?

second of all, what happens if you change your mind?

thirdly, are you absolutely 100% sure that you are willing to risk everything to move to Mexico to be with her?

also, how many times have you spoken to her? how long have you been together?

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