lop98 Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 I've been in a relationship with my wonderful boyfriend for around a year now. After some months he moved abroad and we went long distance for a couple months. I joined him after that time and we started living together... it was all sparks at first but we also had a few fights that drained us both and we didn't have enough time to work through the cause of these fights. I needed a job and I couldn't work there so I left and we went back to long distance, it's only for 3 months as he's coming back after that time. While the past months were amazing for us as a couple, they also left me thinking about a lot of the issues that came up while living together, I've talked to him about it but distance makes it even worse to work through them and we both end up irritated. We've sort of "censured" them for now, at least until we can discuss them face to face again (the issues are about him wanting marriage while I'm not so sure, the way his family is with me [very conservative and uptight- reason why I don't like the idea of marriage]), in a way I feel slightly resentful for how he handled these issues and refused all the solutions I tried to come up with, it was very much my way or the highway and I'm still upset about that. After I came back and precisely while having this tension between us, an ex came back in the picture, and so did a couple of other guys that have been contacting me in a friendly way but let's just say they're not exactly looking for a friendship. I find myself feeling enthusiastic... wanting to get to know other people, wanting less conversations with my boyfriend and more with new guys, finding more qualities in them and comparing. The departure hit me so hard that being in touch with him through a gadget makes me even angry at him, I also feel so lonely... like I was put in withdrawal and I would do anything for attention. None of us lived with anyone before (we are both in our late 20s) so it just feels too much to go from experiencing "a lot" as a couple, to nothing all of a sudden. I especially worry about my feelings for an ex (the reason I signed up on LS), he's been wanting to get back with me for a while now and I never even considered that because he's so not worthy and no way can he be compared to my current boyfriend (who's loving, mature, supportive, trust-worthy, honest- basically everything the ex never was for me) but lately I find myself hoping for something. I know the advice will be "block him", we were NC for a year so ignoring him isn't actually the issue, I'm already doing it. The problem is that I don't know how to get back the spark and interest I had for my relationship now that it's distance... we've done it before but this time it feels so cold and he couldn't see farther from me... he's also not good at talking to a computer, I feel bored skyping with him and lonelier after we do... I want more and not necessarily from him. Any advice? please don't be too harsh I already feel bad... Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 You have to ditch your BF. Then figure out who or what you want. It looks as if your current RS has run it's course. You're staying with him because it's comforting to know someone is around. He will hurt badly once he understands you just kept him around for comfort, until something better appears. Link to post Share on other sites
Viking-Liz Posted June 10, 2014 Share Posted June 10, 2014 he's also not good at talking to a computer, I feel bored skyping with him and lonelier after we do... I want more and not necessarily from him. Several months and he havent got better at it? Attempted to adress the issue? Link to post Share on other sites
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