sazmac Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Ok, Long story short... Met my bf April 2013 on pof, he took his account down in June. He then at christmas time moved 3 hours away with work but we agreed we would still make it work. He comes to me every weekend bar a few if he is working or seeing the boys. About 3 weeks ago i helped set my friend up on pof and for some reason searched for his username. It was active, the profile was exactly the same except it had changed from his old location to his new one. I phoned him up very upset and he swore to me that he had no idea what was going on, how it had happened and had nothing to do with it. He came over that weekend and his story is that his email got hacked, they hacked his facebook (by liking pages like boobs and other random pervy stuff) same with his instagram and so he changed his passwords. The only one he didnt change was his pof so he is saying that these hackers got on to his fb, saw that he had a gf and saw that he had moved locations so out of spite as they failed to get in to his banking they made his pof active again, changing his location looking to cause trouble. I have no idea about hackers so even though the story sounds ridiculous i just dont know what to believe. He has recently deleted his fb but before then he never put anything personal on it, so nothing to do with me, no pics or anything. Im not even sure if people on his fb knew i existed. He also since being together has been to weddings and receptions without me saying they are only small and plus 1's arent invited. I also hardly hear from him in the week, the odd text, he never calls me which really upsets me. On the plus side he does drive 3 hours every weekend to see me and he is great with my 3 year old son. He tells me he loves me when hes with me, makes me feel loved, takes me out for meals etc.. Please can someone help me. I love this man but i just dont know what to do or think!!! xx Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 That sucks - sorry to hear it. I'd have a hard time believing it wasn't him logging in. Especially since his location was updated and it showed him being recently logged in. At least now you know that he looks around while you're not with him. The fact that he lied about it is the biggest bummer. Broken trust = no foundation for a solid relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 If you believe that story then I have a bridge to sell you. What a load of rubbish. You should dump him immediately, not only for having an active dating profile whilst in an exclusive relationship but also for being a lying idiot. 12 Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I don't buy his story either. :\ 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) I call BULLSH*T!!! Come on sweetie! This is the MOST ridiculous excuse I've EVER heard and I've heard some pretty doozies in my lifetime. May I blow holes in his carefully constructed and supposed explanation of what happened? "I phoned him up very upset and he swore to me that he had no idea what was going on, how it had happened and had nothing to do with it. " He got caught and he had to scramble to come up with a plausible explanation. Thank goodness he had some time to think about it before he saw you on the weekend to explain in it greater detail. Huh! "He came over that weekend and his story is that his email got hacked, they hacked his facebook (by liking pages like boobs and other random pervy stuff) same with his instagram and so he changed his passwords. " By liking boobs and random pervy stuff? Did your boyfriend like those pages and that's how he thinks a hacker found him OR is he trying to tell you that this hacker got onto his FB and THEN started liking all these naughty pages which might explain the boobs and pervy stuff you might have seen? Either way, ridiculous. "The only one he didnt change was his pof so he is saying that these hackers got on to his fb, saw that he had a gf and saw that he had moved locations so out of spite as they failed to get in to his banking they made his pof active again, changing his location looking to cause trouble." So you're telling us that your boyfriend's hacker managed to somehow get onto his FB account even AFTER he supposedly changed his PW, then took the time to peruse his profile carefully, happen to notice that he had a girlfriend AND that the city he lived in was DIFFERENT than the one on is POF profile? And THEN, took the liberty of hacking his POF profile, left everything exactly the same EXCEPT for his city where he updated it to his current location????? Are you kidding me??????????? Sweetie, I know you don't want to believe he could have possibly reactivated his POF account but his story is straight from the pages of BULLSH*T Magazine. Utter nonsense and beyond ridiculous. And if THAT wasn't proof enough that this guy is a d*ck, let me remind what else you said about him; "He has recently deleted his fb but before then he never put anything personal on it, so nothing to do with me, no pics or anything. Im not even sure if people on his fb knew i existed. He also since being together has been to weddings and receptions without me saying they are only small and plus 1's arent invited. I also hardly hear from him in the week, the odd text, he never calls me which really upsets me." You can't be this naive. This guy is an idiot and player and cheater and a very bad liar. The signs are all there and pointing in the direction to RUN! I'm so sorry you're having to go through this but take it from someone who has been around a while, this guy is taking you for a fool. Cut him loose and move on. You deserve SO much better. *hugs* Edited May 21, 2014 by Michelle ma Belle 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I have to agree that it sounds ludicrous. If you buy it, it will only show him how much more he can get away with. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dragon_fly_7 Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 As others mentioned, he is selling you the most ridiculous story ever. If it were true that there were hackers then he would have actually contact his Internet provider and taken off the page immediately. He would have probably told you right away about the hackers but you basically caught him trying to do something not good. I would break up with him for two reason: 1) Trying to set up a profile, be up to no good knowing he's in a relationship 2) Lying with that BS story 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Oh yeah - hackers always know to use their targets REAL location . This guy is playing you. No calls/texts during the week, no invites to weddings because they don't allow a +1.....why would a couple celebrating their union not allow you to bring a date? Hmmmmmmm, sounds silly to me. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
Frank2thepoint Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 About 3 weeks ago i helped set my friend up on pof and for some reason searched for his username. It was active, the profile was exactly the same except it had changed from his old location to his new one. The biggest flaw with his argument. How do these hackers even know his new location? He also since being together has been to weddings and receptions without me saying they are only small and plus 1's arent invited. I also hardly hear from him in the week, the odd text, he never calls me which really upsets me. Oh c'mon now, really? This stuff is happening and you are seriously going to consider he is being honest with you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Your boyfriend is a liar. Deep down you know that too. Don't be a fool. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Even if his pof was hacked - how did those hackers know to get his new city correct? His lies aren't believable. My bet is he goes out in his new town. He dates gals he meets but doesn't get serious with them yet because he still comes to you on the weekends. You make sure he wears a condom don't you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Smilecharmer Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Hackers usually need a motive...so what would this one be? Be smarter than this. He is a liar. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 (edited) I phoned him up very upset and he swore to me that he had no idea what was going on, how it had happened and had nothing to do with it. He came over that weekend and his story is that his email got hacked, they hacked his facebook (by liking pages like boobs and other random pervy stuff) same with his instagram and so he changed his passwords. The other thing OP, rather odd that when you called him, all he said was that he didn't know what was going on although all of his other accounts even his bank account were hacked before they hacked POF, so why wouldn't he have mentioned all that on the phone when you confronted him? Only when he went over to see you over the weekend, he had all these excuses lined up. It's almost as if he spent the time concocting these excuses -- the more extreme, the more believable? Weird. Also, if my boyfriend had all his accounts hacked, I'd surely hear about it right away because it would 1) piss him off and he'd want to vent 2) he'd let me know so that I'm aware of what's going on just in case I should email him or FB him 3) he'd want to warn me to be vigilant about my accounts. Edited May 21, 2014 by Zahara 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Hackers usually need a motive...so what would this one be? Be smarter than this. He is a liar. Even though this guy is full of it, I jsit had to say they don't really need a motive. That guy that had the swat team show up at that CoD players house? He didn't have a motive. Although its hilarious. But yeah this dude has been caught. Dead to rights. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Have you visited him where he moved? Does he introduce you to his friends and family? We know he goes solo (or at least without you) to weddings - can you be sure he isn't at events with other dates? At the minimum - he's not trust worthy. Until you feel you can completely trust him again - I think it's safe to figure he's dating multiple women but doesn't intend you to know. I suggest to sex until you know for sure where you fit in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 The fact that he concocted the must unbelievable and idiotic story should offend you, OP. It's like he's telling you that you're stupid. I would've laughed at him and broken up. If you take him back..its ALL on you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Yes i was introduced to his friends at Christmas and his parents also. Well geez, it's time to marry him now! You came to a public forum and asked for advise from total strangers. 100% of us have told you what you do not want to hear. He is lying, period. You seem to want to believe this man, so you will. Now, you have to decide what you need to do, and what he needs to do, to rebuild trust. So maybe start a thread on that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Yes i was introduced to his friends at Christmas and his parents also. That doesn't mean anything. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 The last time pof was hacked was Jan 2011. Did he report all of his privacy violations to the police? I think he would have mentioned it when it supposedly happened - instead of when you caught him perusing other women on a dating site. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 So OP, what are you going to do now? Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 I don't believe you were setting up an account for someone else when you saw his profile. I think you were looking at his specific area (3 hours away and miles apart from a target search). Come on - I don't see you being honest - just like what he's doing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 Yeah, that struck me as odd too. How difficultg is it to do anything on the Internet these days? And then, when your friend gets Activity on POF, will you need to help her review and respond? Sounds like some major trust issues, even though he IS a great guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sazmac Posted May 21, 2014 Author Share Posted May 21, 2014 OMG you are all horrible, Dont even bother replying to me!!!!! Someone asked if i had met his family and friends....hence my last post. I am not lying, why on earth would i do that?? Forget i mentioned anything your all cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 hackers are a wild card. As of today I had a notice on one site I utilize. Such information is now in the hands of a cyber punk. So the truth is, yes Hackers can succeed in doing lots of childish things. Stranger things have come to light in the mist of cyber hacking. As to this guy, is he perhaps engaged in another relationship entirely? Have you met his famlily and friends? have him take his profile off line and move on. You both can refresh and rekindle. I think him being devoted to some extent does have its plus's. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 21, 2014 Share Posted May 21, 2014 He's dating others - or wants to - and is definitely not serious about you, OP. It's plain as day. I hope you use protection with this guy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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