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Something only people in a long distance relationship will relate to


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Sponge_Cake

Hello guys.

This is my first long distance relationship, as some of you may have seen from my earlier post.

 

Anyway, me and my SO contact one another via internet messages and Skype practically everyday. However his laptop broke yesterday and since then we haven't been able to talk...we've been texting now and again but it's not quite the same.

He isn't sure if he can get it fixed but is going to try and take it in to a repair place tomorrow.

I know it's not that big a deal but I'm panicking as our normal forms of communication will be lost and it's quite a big thing in a LDR. What do you guys think? Am I overreacting?

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You are over reacting but then again I did an LDR 20+ years ago before the internet, Skype, FB & cell phones. We had snail mail letters & 1 half-hour very expensive long distance phone call per week.

 

 

Try a snail mail letter. It's more of a memento anyway.

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I do...he doesn't.

 

Well that sucks.

 

I can understand your sense of panic, but I'm sure things will be just fine.

 

Increase your phone calls and texts for one.

 

Does he have a friend that can loan him a laptop, tablet, computer......can he upgrade his cell phone? I mean everyone has a smart phone lol. Internet cafe, library. Is he in school? Does he work? Surely he has a computer where he works or goes to school.

 

There's a ton of options. You make it sound like he's limited to one laptop in his house, I'm quite sure it's not like that so don't panic or overreact.

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justwhoiam

I can understand not having the money to buy a new pc/laptop. Then a tablet can be an option. With around 100€, or similar amount in other currencies, he can get one.

 

Letters by mail are nice too, though delivery might not be regular. I'm not sure if borrowing is safe enough, regarding privacy, so I guess I would discard that idea.

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LittleTiger

It's tough but it's not the end of the world. We've managed on a five minute phone call once a day (or less) when we've had serious internet problems. You'll get through it and at least you still have texting - it's better than nothing. :)

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Currently in a relationship where we're only 4 hours away but neither of us have the time to visit often. (Hoping to move sometime this year)

 

We carry on with our days and only text every now and then, but we're a lot more familiar with each other as we've been together for awhile.

 

I wouldn't resort to letters unless one of you have literally no means of contact.

 

You have to remember that in any relationship, it's okay to spend a little bit time apart. It's okay not to talk every 5 minutes. You two have your own separate lives.

 

You'll get through it! Just keep yourselves busy with your lives. It'll give you a looot more to talk about since you're not updating each other all the time!

 

In my opinion, it makes it more interesting to keep the other person guessing what you're doing. It keeps a bit of mystery in your relationship and there's nothing wrong with that.

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LittleTiger
In my opinion, it makes it more interesting to keep the other person guessing what you're doing. It keeps a bit of mystery in your relationship and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

I wouldn't recommend this in any relationship, but especially not in an LDR!

 

Each to their own though I guess.

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I wouldn't recommend this in any relationship, but especially not in an LDR!

 

Each to their own though I guess.

 

Both my boyfriend and I like our space. We like our solitude. I'm aware it's different for everyone.

 

This way, we get to do our own thing and we can still share our stories later.

 

We used to talk all the time and it pushed each other away lol. This is just my experience though.

 

I once was in an LDR where he would literally try to talk to me every 5 seconds. It was suffocating.

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Michelle ma Belle

Although I can appreciate that not everyone can go out and repair or replace a new laptop or smart phone, if you're in a LDR, it does require some special effort to keep the lines of communication open and that includes regular chats and Skyping. It's too easy to get caught up in our day-to-day lives when we don't have our partners at close range.

 

What about an internet cafe? Maybe he has friend who has an old computer they might let him borrow until he can figure something else out. Or better yet, perhaps it's time to invest in a smart phone - you can download Skype on them after all.

 

And if you REALLY wanted to be persnickety, think about how much money he's saved NOT having to take you out on dates (movies and dinners) or having to shower you with expensive gifts (Christmas and birthdays and anniversaries). I'm sure if you added all those up you'd find the money for a new laptop.

 

LDR requires not only plenty of effort but an investment in the tools that keep you connected. Without either of those things for an extended period of time and you will struggle.

 

Good luck.

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LittleTiger
Both my boyfriend and I like our space. We like our solitude. I'm aware it's different for everyone.

 

This way, we get to do our own thing and we can still share our stories later.

 

We used to talk all the time and it pushed each other away lol. This is just my experience though.

 

I once was in an LDR where he would literally try to talk to me every 5 seconds. It was suffocating.

 

My guy and I are the same - and in an LDR we get more than enough space and solitude!

 

I agree that 'every 5 seconds' is too much, but there is a happy medium.

 

In a serious committed relationship 'keeping the other person guessing what you're doing' is a recipe for disaster.

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soccerrprp

In my opinion, it makes it more interesting to keep the other person guessing what you're doing. It keeps a bit of mystery in your relationship and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

Ugh. No no.

 

In a LDR, you don't want to smother one another, but this just doesn't ring true nor wise to me. IN FACT, my gf has come right out and told me that this is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what she wants. In a LDR, the key is to maintain a healthy connection and I feel that 'mystery' won't help with that at all.

 

I also believe this "keeping it a mystery" business is over-rated and not conducive to establishing and maintaining a secure and solid relationship. Once in a committed relationship, the "mysterious" thing doesn't make sense.

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Ugh. No no.

 

In a LDR, you don't want to smother one another, but this just doesn't ring true nor wise to me. IN FACT, my gf has come right out and told me that this is the EXACT OPPOSITE of what she wants. In a LDR, the key is to maintain a healthy connection and I feel that 'mystery' won't help with that at all.

 

I also believe this "keeping it a mystery" business is over-rated and not conducive to establishing and maintaining a secure and solid relationship. Once in a committed relationship, the "mysterious" thing doesn't make sense.

 

Lol I said it was *MY* opinion.

 

This works for my boyfriend and I and there's nothing wrong with what works for us. We're very committed to each other, secure with each other and we trust each other.

 

I did NOT say it works for everyone.

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HeavenOrHell

You can't call each other on landline phones? Me and my partner have cheap rate international calls, pretty essential in an LDR.

 

Don't panic, you'll be able to talk in a day or two.

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Use the good ol' phone. It isn't feasible for long periods of time due to cost, but for a few days it'll tide you over.

 

He can Skype from internet cafes and such as well, though you might not get too much privacy there.

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Sponge_Cake

We've been talking on the phone...and texting.

 

He's just ordered a cheap tablet so hopefully it won't be too long until it arrives.

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