Jump to content

Is it time?


Recommended Posts

moonshadow18

Hello! I just need some help to get myself out of this confusion I'm in. I'm 24 and in a long distance relationship with an 18 years old guy from the US. He is basically the only guy whom I was able to open up everything with. I've dated guys near me before those I can be with all the time but none of them gave me the comfortability that this guy has given me. I have told him everything about me both good and bad info. Those I did in the past that no one knows but me. We've been dating online for like 5months now. Apparently like normal couples we also have those ups and downs. On our third month we started having issues when he first got into jail because he got pulled over due to speeding and verbally abused the cops or something not really sure. I was devasted as I cant take that he's going in there. It took sometime for me to cope up. Not even a month later he got arrested again because of him caught having weed in his car. I broke up with him as I cannot really take it anymore. He begged for me and asked me to stay and promised me he will change. I just love him so much that I decided to get back with him. We faced the race again together and had little arguments and stuff along the way. I must say we are both immature. Everytime we argue we block each other on facebook and just a few days we would get back together and add each other again. That just keeps happening all the time. Then we would take time to reevaluate the relationship and agree that we are doing somethig wrong. We would end up telling each other the things we like and dont like. We were okay since the last time we broke up until just recently a day before Easter. He got arrested again because of him not able to pay his old ticket from the weed warrant. I was literally broken as it happened once again. He told me he didnt do anything it just so happened that he still hasnt been able to pay the old fee which he already paid im full this time. He told me not to worry about him going back there anymore because its already cleared. I needed a break to think and I went No Contact with him for a week. He kept calling and texting me but I tried my best not to get intouch. I started missing him sooo bad and wondering if he is doing okay. He texted me two days ago and I decided to answer his call. Like I expected I just heard him beg and I gave in again. We shared so many thing together and did crazy things out of love together. Cried together so many times and I wasnt just ready to let him go. :( (I know u wud say Im stupid) since we started talking again. Everytime I break up with him he would go back to smoking weed. :( He said whenever I make him feel that Im gone forever then theres no more reason for him to stop as Im the only one who can change his mind about using weed. Im just getting these mixed emotions and still confused whether Im doing the right thing or not. Im doubtful of him about him, he said as long as we stay together then surely he will never smoke.

 

 

Also, this recent break up is not like the past ones. I just dont feel much affected now. Like as if I care less this time. But Im just not ready to live without him. :( I dont know what else to do. Im afraid of losing him but also afraid of getting disappointed again big time.

 

I honestly love him, I want him to be part of my future but these things going on with him makes me feel unsure. It breaks my heart to think wer going to be apart forever when im thinking of breaking up with him but also gives me a bad feeling when i think of the things going on to him would continue happening as I stay with him. Im super lost.. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites

.....But have you seen him, and by seen I mean have you used Skype, webcam, FaceTime....anything REAL time that let's you see who this person is?

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
moonshadow18

Yes, we constantly skype and talk over the phone. Ive met his whole family already. Ive been introduced so many times. Everytime we skype he wud let me talk to his mom and brothers. His aunts and lots of relatives likes me a lot. Im in touch with his real dad too. Coz his parents are not together anymore and are married sepaarately. I have close ties with his family. Thats probly one of the things i cant let go either.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
moonshadow18

I work in Hong Kong but I'm originally from the Philippines. We planned to meet Aug. This year all those waiting time we were so excited and had so many plans the moment we meet. I have an employer who decides for my vacation tho. I asked for it to be given Aug. But they cant let me go on the said month so they gave me 10days sometime in July. He wont make it on time as he need money to come down here. He is so disappointed because all is planned already for Aug. I told him before if they wont let me go I would resign now he is taking that against me. I explained to him I cannot resign anymore since they allowed me to go. Purpose of me working here is to cross over to Canada so I cannot blow up everything as it wud mess up my plan of crossing over. He do not understand, he knows its my dream even before i methim he wud say "Youd rather be in Canada than be with me" i told him its not true, since we dont have any idea how long its gonna take before he can get me over which he plans i told him getting there wud get me closer to him

so sadly wer not going to meet anymore this year as planned whivh really hurts me as my family is also expecting me to bring him over. Both our families are involved on thsi. Thwy are all supportive about what we have. In times we have trouble his parents are always to thw rescue. I really like him a lot. And this recent break up that we had since we havent talked for a while it felt as tho wer drifting apart slowly. Like i dont feel him as before anymore. And when i tell him he wud say its still the same him same feelings. So he wud end up asking me "Are you still inlove? U seem unsure now" i ask myself that too and i dont have the answer. :( its like the passion and bond is not there anymore but im not ready to let go. :( what shud i do? :(

Link to post
Share on other sites
I'm 24 and in a long distance relationship with an 18 years old guy from the US.We've been dating online for like 5months now.

 

You posted the same thread about a month ago and when I saw it I didn't want to comment because I didn't want to be the bearer of bad news. But I am a blunt person so I'll be honest. You are too old for this boy. You're a grown woman at 24, he is barely a man as he's only 18 years old; still a teenager. I would not have dated a guy who was only 18 when I was 24. I wouldn't even date a 23 year old now and I'm 29; 6 year gap can be too much, especially in your case as he's only 18.

 

You work in Hong Kong but originally from the Philippines, he lives in the U.S. Huge gap but not impossible to close the distance. You will have to deal with immigration and that whole process if things were to get serious and as he's only 18 years old I highly doubt he would be able to help pay for that process.

 

Also, it has ONLY been 5 months. There is just too much going on in these past months for this relationship to work. He's been arrested several times for drug-related offenses. He's not only young but he's immature. At this rate he will have a criminal record so long no one will want to hire his tarnished butt. He also doesn't like the possibility of you moving to Canada to get closer to him...if he was smart he'd support that idea since Canada is close to the U.S. and you two would be able to at least see each other more often.

 

I think you should find someone your age-range and move on with your life. You two just started the 'relationship' and it's already this destructive. You should not be that much in love with him as you say. It's detrimental. You're in love with a far-fetched idea. You've emotionally invested way too much on a boy you have not even met in person, not even once! He is not ready and don't think he ever will be at this point. Just because you two have been on cam face-to-face a few times, have 'met' each other's family on cam, and chat every day does not make it even more serious. Drop him, move on. take care. Good luck!

Edited by ThisGal
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
moonshadow18

Hi, that was really helpful. Reading it over and over made me a little bit stronger. Im so sorry if my stupidity annoys you somehow. :( i guess u wer ryt i have invested way too muvh. And now im the one hurting. I tried so many times but i always end up going back to him as i am having a hard time throwing everything weve shared in the past months. :(I wanna end it but i dont know how when i am not ready to let go. :( I feel like if I leave him then i was not thw good partner supporting him to change while going thru this in his life. I wanted to help him but i swear sometimes i dont know if my efforts are useless as he himself is not helping his own. :( i have been crying so bad about this and have affected me big time.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...