a week of no replies= breakup?

[flukey]

We've have been dating for one month shy of a year now and our LDR is great. We text each other at work, on the phone when we're home and pretty much try our best to be involved in each others lives as much as possible. The distance wasn't an issue for us as we visit each other when our work schedule allows us to.

 

Just a week ago everything was normal. we got in a tiny argument. heck, not even an argument. i was just telling him to text me when he's not busy because he sounded occupied. He said fine and told me he had to go to a work related dinner after work. He never texted me from that night and its been a week.

 

He hasn't gone more than a whole day without contacting me. he hasn't responded to any of my text/calls and i know he's ok. A million things are going thru my head and im filled with so many mixed feelings. Hurt/abandonment/confusion, you name it.

 

Am i over reacting or should i take that as a break up?

[Grumpybutfun]

Do you think something happened to him? How can you know he is ok?Can you call his work, parents or friends? How serious were you?

G

[flukey]

He's fine. i saw him like a friends post on instagram just today. silly i know but at least i know he's okay. we were pretty serious. We have so many plans for the future.

[Grumpybutfun]

He did a fade out and that means he is an asshat whom you don't need to invest anymore energy into. Guys who are decent don't do this sort of thing to people they have been serious with and dating for almost a year. What a tool.

Move on,

Grumps

[flukey]

I just thot I deserved an explanation if there was a change of heart. It just caught me off guard. It really doesnt seem like him at all. Maybe im still in my denial phase

[Smilecharmer]

I just thot I deserved an explanation if there was a change of heart. It just caught me off guard. It really doesnt seem like him at all. Maybe im still in my denial phase

 

 

You do deserve an explanation. Did you say something to him that might have made him think you were breaking up?

[flukey]

No I would never hint that or say anything to start any arguments. Expecially when we're trying trying to build a healthy LDR. He did reply to 1 of my text the day after saying he does love me but it pisses him of that I scold him for working. Which I didn't mention because i have no idea what made him think i was solding him.I just said "okay" when he said he was going to dinner with the bosses. N when I texted him back because somehow it became my fault, he stopped replying ever since.

[piroulline]

My ex (recent) did the exact same thing. Like many people have said when commenting on my post, which sounds almost exactly like your post, is that the reason they give us is probably not the actual reason they pulled a Houdini act on us. Or at least not the only reason.

 

It hurts so much and we are left dazed and confused. But soon you will start to see things more clearly. Is that kind of man what we want in our lives? Someone who cares so little for our well-being as to go days without letting us know what is going on with them? Especially in a LDR, that's even worse.

 

What I've come to realize is that my ex wanted to have total control over everything, to end it on his terms whenever he felt like it, no explanation given. Careless and cruel. Do they really love us if they can do such terrible things to us?

 

You will probably hear from him again, he will probably come up with some lame excuse like mine did. But by then the damage had already been done and I was able to see his true persona for the first time. Of course I still have feelings for him. Those won't go away for awhile. But we have to take care of ourselves, preserve ourselves, love and care for ourselves a lot more than giving it all to someone who treats us like we mean nothing to them.

 

I hope you find peace soon. I know it's very difficult and between the tears and the heart break it's a seemingly endless road of suffering. But you will come out of it stronger and wiser no matter the outcome.

 

This too shall pass. Everything does

[justwhoiam]

We've have been dating for one month shy of a year now and our LDR is great.

Far from great I guess.

Anyway, you've been "dating". I don't mean to justify his ways, but dating doesn't define a steady relationship to me. I guess there might be several levels and degrees of dating someone, but if he's not your boyfriend, and you're not his girlfriend, the relationship is kind of open and not binding at all. In fact, some people are into multiple dating, that is they can date a girl on friday, and another one on saturday. Or date a girl a weekend and another one the next weekend. This is also easier when two people are LD.

 

I'm not saying he's dating someone else, but I'm stressing the fact that when two people want some exclusive relationship or feel like putting a label on it, they do so, making clear deals and setting boundaries. When this doesn't happen, it's usually because at least one of the two doesn't want that. So it still is in a "who knows what" kind of phase.

 

In his eyes, you complained about his work-related engagements taking time away from you. Maybe it was the last straw that broke the camel's back. You told him to get back to you when he was not busy. So I guess now he's following your prescription and you won't hear from him for a long while. You made your bed and now you must lie in it. It sounds a bit childish, but maybe it happened because it was the last in a long series of similar events.

 

Whatever the case, I also agree with many things piroulline said in her previous post.