It all went wrong but i love her :(

[LouisAlexander]

This is a weird story so please be kind. Sorry its a detailed long story.

 

I met a woman from England 3 months ago,i am from Holland, it was online and we fell madly in love talking to eachother every night.

 

 

My nerves got to me, but we agreed to meet. I am 32 and she is 40 with a child...It all started out great because she thought i was kind and warm hearted.. At first the weeks passed by and her age came up again...at that time she lied about her age...being 40 not 34...And she got off crying to herself...I said it was allright it is no problem, i love you. Just dont lie again to me.

 

I didn't care she had a child or was 40, she's a beautifull woman and i loved her.

 

But then we met, and i got really sick also at that time.. What was suppose to be a romantic weekend turned into a disaster... I made a huge mistake not bringing any gifts or bring money... The beginning overwelmed me..It was good a big hug a kiss and hand in hand back to her car...Once we got home..we went to bed together right away... I was surprised by this action of love making when we got home..I insisted to wait till tonight but she kept on seducing me..

 

Then it got strange...i was sick and couldnt do a thing...did not take the lead in anything nor took her out..We just sat a cpl days and watched movies... I just had broken up from a previous relationship and she did not have a relationship for 5 years.. She gave no signals whatsoever to me either and we didnt communicate at all...It was a horrible mistake i made.

 

After i got home..i felt terrible about myself thinking i wasnt myself with her whilst i should have been... We talked very little once i got home.. Just very very little...i was asking her for a re meet and she just said yes, thats it.

 

The next day being sick at home i went back to my computer to discuss..it..perhaps another bad move...we had a huge discussion that i was sick but she blamed me for not telling her and not being organized she hoped for a romantic weekend...i ruined it.

 

You would think id be glad it's over and im back home but im not...Im heart broken and thinking constantly about her...I tried to text her with a sorry no response.. Then i approached her again cause i could not bare this anymore...We got into a heated discussion and it wasnt that pleasant.

 

Yes i am very idiotic but learned from this.

 

We have 4 sentences discussions on skype, i applogized to her so much...if online far distance isnt hard enough i am in this situation also now...i feel terrible.

 

Thing is she seen my worst side if being shy and sick..Today i asked her again for a re meet when im better but i got a different response from her now..after our fight she had a diff picture of me and she needed time to think if she really wants us to re meet..

 

We're still in contact on skype and such and shes still talking if i ask her something.

 

It could not get any worse than this...But im willing to wait to show her my best side...buy her romantic gifts like a rose and chocolate which she loves. I can do so much better the next time but i need a chance.

 

I am still head over heels over her and im devistated by my actions. I know 3 months isnt much but i am crazy in love with her and willing to wait. I just love her so much i should have done it right the first time..but i cant go back in time.

 

 

Also what does this silent treatment mean...we are friends but we barely talk 3 days after our meet...is hope all lost or should i wait and try my best to fix this.

 

I think women who give the silent treatment to a guy, to show they can carry on with their life or something? Or show em they are hard to get or high value?

 

I just dont get how someone can be in love then totally reject me in any way as possible...she said i was not a try out toy but it feels like it?

 

Any opinions if she still would give me a second chance...or is this lost...im willing to wait a month for her but not months...that would drive me crazy..

 

 

Whats the best option? Right now we are both online a lot but i decided to give her space...talking to her would only make it worse and worse i think. Whats the best way to approach her again anyway...or just wait...i am 32...but so clueless im sorry.

Edited April 15, 2014 by LouisAlexander

[justwhoiam]

Chill out. First of all, it's weird you never talked about what to do during your visit. You didn't ask her what she likes doing, maybe you knew that already? It's bad that you got there unorganized, with no ideas and acted like a starfish.

 

When you say you were sick, what was wrong exactly? I mean you had a fever? A headache? Or what?

 

It's weird that you didn't say anything, but most of all that she didn't notice that. My first thought is she did notice something was wrong, but as she never met you before, she couldn't know what it was and probably felt you didn't like her in person but you didn't have the guts to tell her. Hence, the bad experience.

 

Also, when a woman doesn't talk, in many cases she's not doing that on purpose as a revenge or to give you a lesson. Sometimes you can be so down you don't feel like saying anything, or need time to think. It's more like a state of mind and when someone's heartbroken.

 

You say you can wait max for a month, not more. What are you waiting for? I mean you should do something to make up. It always amazes me how guys feel women should get over something on their own. I don't. I need him to do something to make up. What is up to you. You need to bring a smile back on her face, without making a fool of yourself. You said you already explained you were sick and not feeling yourself and that she had no fault, right? You're on the right track, but that alone probably won't work. Do something for her that comes from your heart. And if you think she must get over it in no time, she will sense it, and it's better for you to move on instead, because it doesn't show any respect for her feelings.

[LouisAlexander]

thank you for the reply.

 

i had a stomache infection and still have it actually, i cannot work and im on medicine to make it heal. It wasn't just a simple flu i was very much in pain. not telling her though was a bad mistake.

 

right now im living in a big house and moving i have little to no money for this month due to bills or i would have send her something like roses with a sorry.

 

how can i make it better or do something from my heart...online...this is nearly impossible to do so...and if i keep explaining myself she would get tired of this i think.. so i have no clue...and i do respect her feelings thats why im leaving her be right now...she is so hard to read sometimes...

 

i dont want to bother her either if she explained she needs time...i dont know.

 

this is not a typical fluffy girl...she works in a pub and knows how to handle her things very well...shes a in mens world a lot...with a lotta drunken idiots sadly...

 

i was planning to just take it slow...as she said she wanted to restart...as friends...

 

but you made a very good point here saying i should respect her feelings...thinking it would be all solved in a few days or weeks would be ignorant on my side..i should move on but still try to make the best of it.

 

thank you for the reply.

 

 

also more advice from diff ppl id appriciate a lot atleast now i got an idea...i dun wanna sound like a moron but i have/had no clue what to do here.

Edited April 15, 2014 by LouisAlexander

[justwhoiam]

Ok. Wait for other people's opinions and ideas.

 

Just one thing: be careful with the "let's just be friends" kind of deal. I'm sure you don't want to end up friendzoned. If I were you, I'd do something, if you really care about her. Show you're mature, and can go out of your way.

 

You know her, I don't. I wouldn't like roses. But if you pick a couple of songs to deliver your message, that'd be nice. It's not easy though. It shouldn't be too much, not too cheesy or corny, straight to the point, and better if it's through the music genre she likes (does she like rock? Heavy metal? etc.).

[LouisAlexander]

She likes English punk music actually not my style personally since i make electronic music myself but that's not an issue for me.

 

She showed me few music honestly it's mostly pub music that im not into, but we do love 60s 70s love song and so does she...but honestly cheesey songs msg'n i dont think she would dig that..or any kind of cheesey internet stuff..sadly.. no clue if she likes flowers either..i know she loves chocolate though but sorta hard to deliver that right now..

 

Thats the thing she likes about me i do not spend time in a pub getting drunk and her friends are work related mostly and i am not.

 

We both like cheesey horror movies and traveling..she enjoys the simple things in life just like me...and shes honest and kind but can be blunt if she has to ...I got into an argument with her the past days and she is pretty clever and knows what she wants.

 

To be honest online i don't think i can do much about it but keep my distance hoping she would still re-think it all over...It feels dreadfull though and is bringing me down so much.. I'm wondering how i can cope with this tbh..Perhaps she cares little or no anymore..I do not want to end up in the friends zone at all but thats where i am at..with little to no conversation anymore...great.. Thats why i asked for a re meet...but here i am leaving her to her own..she shows little interest in me anymore...it hurts.

 

The thing is its so hard to actually guess what she is thinking since i am behind a computer and not at her place... Yet i am a grown man acting like a baby who needs his nappy changed...thats what it feels like...i cant wait to start going to work again and get my mind atleast a little off...being sick at home thinking bout her constantly drives me nuts.

 

thank you for your reply btw i appreciate it.

Edited April 15, 2014 by LouisAlexander

[LouisAlexander]

I had an idea though but not sure what i am gonna say yet,

 

Since we are on skype and only text i was thinking to actually call her after a few days on skype to talk instead of just typing texts.

 

I think that would be a pretty good idea actually, i have to yet figure out what to say though.

 

But i think that would be a good idea perhaps? Atleast i can think of it for a few days...Bringing up the re meeting would be a bad idea..i must think of something so she feels comfortable talking to me again..I miss our skype calls.

[justwhoiam]

i know she loves chocolate though but sorta hard to deliver that right now..

How come? I had a shop around where he was at to deliver clothes, chocolates is even easier. But to me, it wouldn't be very creative.

 

We both like cheesey horror movies and traveling..she enjoys the simple things in life just like me...and shes honest and kind but can be blunt if she has to

It doesn't have to be something cheesy, not sure why you are focusing on something cheesy.

Anyway, can you say what you have to say with some horror movie character? That would be creative, but quite difficult to do, if you ask me. Or maybe you can draw something with some message expressly for her.

 

To be honest online i don't think i can do much about it

This loser mindset won't get you far. But it's up to you. You can just sit around and hope something will happen. Maybe it'll happen, maybe not. It wouldn't work for me. Maybe it works for her. You can try that out and see if it works. If it doesn't, you lost your chance. If it does work, you'll have everything settled with no effort, so that's great.

 

I had an idea though but not sure what i am gonna say yet,

 

Since we are on skype and only text i was thinking to actually call her after a few days on skype to talk instead of just typing texts.

That to me doesn't sound so bright, but more like the bare minimum one would expect. You need to meet the minimum needs, and possibly exceed them.

Anyway, make sure your headphones work properly and that your microphone works properly and you have the right settings on Skype. If you play an instrument, you could sing something while on Skype.

 

Good luck

[LouisAlexander]

She didnt give up hope yet but needs time she said.

 

 

she has a weird stalker for years a real nutter...and now im being treated like i am a stalker of some sort...she freaked out about talking to her friends and said to never do it again...It is very weird she drew a tantrum about it and made her profile private also... This was beyond weird to me...cause i never pay attention to what she is doing nor do i care who she talks to...

 

i only ask to be honest, i hate liars.

 

Now another thing happened today, i noticed a mutual friend deleted me for no reason at all still having other mutual friends im the only one deleted..which we both talked and gamed with..i never did a bad thing to him ever mind you..

 

I asked her but she did not have a clue why...

 

I think she's lying and im keeping my hopes up, i feel like im treated as a piece of garbage now.

 

 

She deleted me from skype repeating to stop drama...avoiding the confrontation..its for the best..i dont like liars anyway...

 

My first internet relationship and my last one, ive learned from this i guess...being left heart broken now..awesome.

Edited April 15, 2014 by LouisAlexander

[justwhoiam]

she has a weird stalker for years a real nutter...and now im being treated like i am a stalker of some sort

...

My first internet relationship and my last one

So, you're criticizing her for her behavior, but you're adopting the same reaction. Being drastic with anyone because of something that happened to you and related to just one person.

 

Anyway, I guess she has too many issues and won't let you in in her life.

 

Oh well, you only met her 3 months ago. You can't demand for her trust yet. Trust is gained through time, and a lot of time if she had a previous bad experience. You're a 32 year-old single guy, while she's a 40 year-old mother. You need to find some late 20ish girl with no baggage to spend your life with. Be patient. And go no contact with this woman.

[LouisAlexander]

I am heart broken. She deleted me from skype then decided to rant to me on whatsapp last night. I did not deserve this treatment at all. She made me fall in love then plainly rejected me without having zero feelings. She wanted space and time i did the wrong thing bothering her...All i wanted to know what was up and how she felt..

 

The thing is, i said i needed help with her having a child but she did nothing. We made love for 15 minutes after i arrived and then i got nothing from her anymore...I do not understand this at all. That is a weird way to meet somebody i think, i rejected and said i wanted to wait but she pushed on me anyway so we spend time in bed. It is crazy when i think about it, being in a hurry to make love before your daughter comes home...then decide to see if i was relationship material. i do not get this at all...i have been used i think.

 

She knew i was a dutch guy first time in England, and what to expect...i asked her a ton is this really what you want and she assured it will be fine...I've been plainly used...when she figured it wouldnt work out we could be friends and move on..

 

Last night she suggested to have a laugh about it and go on as friends...How is this a laugh and just to move on...Does she have no feelings whatsoever at all? It seems very blunt.

 

Im heart broken and mentally a wreck right now thinking about all of it all day...You are right tho she's a 40year old mother...good luck with that i said...it pissed her off but i did not care...enough is enough playing with my feelings.

 

She hasnt been in a realtionship for 5 years...and i just came out of a 2 year realtionship..i tihnk she just shuts down very easily being paranoid...i made my mistakes but i feel like im being tested if it was somthing for her..whilst i was in love with her..Should have been a minor obstacle...just a re meet when i was not sick and we would have a good time...but she failed to understand this and wanted to move on i think.

 

Sorry for the rant again and thank you for your reply.

Edited April 16, 2014 by LouisAlexander

[petall]

Pretty obvious she only wanted the sex and was not looking for anything serious. Hence suggesting you "laugh" about what happened and hey, just keep it all casual.

 

You are not on the same level. Move on and cut contact.

[LouisAlexander]

Yes thats what i think also i did cut off contact today, i didnt even get pleasure from it but she did if you know what i mean...even that was awfull.

 

thank you for the reply.

[TAV]

She didnt give up hope yet but needs time she said.

 

 

she has a weird stalker for years a real nutter...and now im being treated like i am a stalker of some sort...she freaked out about talking to her friends and said to never do it again...It is very weird she drew a tantrum about it and made her profile private also... This was beyond weird to me...cause i never pay attention to what she is doing nor do i care who she talks to...

 

i only ask to be honest, i hate liars.

 

Now another thing happened today, i noticed a mutual friend deleted me for no reason at all still having other mutual friends im the only one deleted..which we both talked and gamed with..i never did a bad thing to him ever mind you..

 

I asked her but she did not have a clue why...

 

I think she's lying and im keeping my hopes up, i feel like im treated as a piece of garbage now.

 

 

She deleted me from skype repeating to stop drama...avoiding the confrontation..its for the best..i dont like liars anyway...

 

My first internet relationship and my last one, ive learned from this i guess...being left heart broken now..awesome.[/QUOTE]

 

Well, for the next and any relationship, LDR or not, talk more about your expectations. Like someone said here; how come you had no clue what to do the weekend you were together? It should have been discussed, plans should have been made.

 

And you say you are so suprised she wanted to hop into bed the moment you arrived, but something in your behaviour/online conversations must have given her the idea that you would be into that. She obviously also felt the need to lie about her age and probably her daughter, thinking she could not land a guy like you otherwise? Did you also lie about something?

 

There was also no level of trust between you two if you could not tell her that you felt awful and needed to rest. I think it is very likely she took your behaviour as a rejection after the rushed sex. I really do wonder why you had the assumption this was an online affair that could translate to a real relationship. Did you share anything online that made you feel you connected on a deeper level?

 

I'm sorry you feel so letdown and used. That must be hard. I hope you will manage to see this meeting for what it was in a few months and learn from the mistakes you both made.

 

I also hope your health will improve soon.

[OnlyHonesty]

You have dodged a bullet and you don't even realise it.

[LouisAlexander]

Thank you very much for your reply that was kind.

 

I never lied about a thing ever, she did not lie about her kid ever no just her age.

 

one week before the meeting on skype.

 

i asked her before and we could do plenty of things she said,

 

the language could be a problem i only know basic english not complicated words.

 

we have some other interests and such

 

youre a nice guy i like nice guys thats all that matter it will be fine i love you.

 

you have to take the iniative first.

 

you can guess what she said...

 

 

her responses to all, it will be fine.

 

 

once i was there we went out one day to see a castle , then we went....really i went shopping with the 2 of them..they where walking besides eachother i was hopping along...i even took her hand one time and her daughter took her other and she shook mine loose... that felt so ackward.. she should have comforted her daughter instead...after that i was afraid to do anything anymore...i got no reactions whatsoever...

 

i know her daughter is number 1...that is fine...but she expected a romantic weekend yet took me out shopping and see a castle...why?

 

if im in england and never been there isnt it a natural thing to show me interesting things...and especially some iniative with a child...i was a gentleman and behaved and waited until she made a move to show it is ok...that's what a nice guy would do with a child in between us..she did not do anything...she talked with her child instead ignoring me...no eye contact when i said a thing or two...nothing..

 

i was so devastated by all these actions and sick i could not even start to explain and talk about it. i warned her for all this before...last night she texted to me it wont work we have different lives...ofcourse we do i live in another country...the amazing thing is, she is 40 yet she could not think of all this beforehand nor did she talk about it to me on skype or real life...i had to ask it all and she always ensured it was fine... before we met.

 

today an old friend of hers popped up and we started a convo about her...no sneaky one, i just had to know... turns out she loves to stirr drama or stick her nose into other ppls business he told me...i was surprised cause she always claimed she hated drama and wanted me to stop...i think thats a very nasty thing to do to people....it even got so far she emssed iwht a mentally ill guy but never helped me...just to dwell on the drama...he is still stalking and texting her to date...why not change your phone number then? liking the drama ?

 

She deleted me from skype claiming i was bombarding her, then she texted me and tried to provoke me again, im on steam client and she did not delete me from there provoking me once again or to see when im online or not...trying to get more drama then bombard me again and blame me...but i aint doing nothing anymore.

 

 

for anyone who read this all, this person is not really healthy in her mind i think.

 

and i did dodge a nutter...i mean bullet.

Edited April 17, 2014 by LouisAlexander

[LouisAlexander]

Was not allowed to talk to her friend asking if she was talking about me, i once asked her where she was talking to dutch ppl and followed her on irc...when we where good.

 

yesterday..

 

wasnt allowed in rizon irc because she thought i stalked her but was actually meeting people in pm there... i left irc for it...leaving those ppl behind..cause i dont want it anymore..she ruined it for me just being there.

 

 

And let this be a warning for whoever reads and decides to fall in love online.

Edited April 17, 2014 by LouisAlexander

[todreaminblue]

you know how you can have a decisive person who makes their mind up takes action pretty quickly.....when you mix that with a person who is indecisive and indecisive behaviour can be attributed to shyness....a fear of acting or talking.......it is a hard slog when you pair this match...shy people and people who struggle with decisions are normally introverted they take a while to come out of their shell and relax......sick with nerves ring a bell.........this frustrates an extrovert.........unless of course the extro takes into consideration an introverts personality and gives them a chance.......i am a mix...so i understand both traits and give time and chances........there are women who are like me too......who give more than a date to get to know someone who give a chance for the nerves to settle and a real go at it..she sounds pissed....to me....how you were was understandable.......but i am not her.....you need to talk to her.....and let her know sometimes you suffer from social anxiety and that you settle once you know someone.......if she is understanding of that she will give you a chance.......introverts and extros can actually learn from each other........it can be a balanced relationship....if it is one that both want to be in no relationship is easy and it is one where you can grow..maybe she will see that by getting to know you and she will give it a go...deb

[LouisAlexander]

That would actually be a very good point of you i now understand. I did not get a second chance though at all. She decided to bombard me with things i did not do right and kept doing that...when i said i was heart broken..its all about me and i should consider being polite and consider how she felt instead for once..calling me...rude at times even...

 

She is the boss of a pub but not that crazy extrovert at all when i was there...but very controlling...very much so...couldnt even clean up dishes cause it was organised yet it was all over the place...She could not get a table together..and i promised to fix it...even at this she said no no you're doing it wrong...yet i fixed it in about 10 minutes...lol.. She works in a mans world...but then again she has to realise im not a customer nor a co worker..i was her lover..yet the nasty trade was still there..so i noticed very quickly..and i did not like it at all..

 

Also she knows im introvert and shy, i also warned her before hand...ive been in relationships before and knew what to ask her before meeting up..but she all gave in and never wanted to discuss it for some reason..itll be heaven and fine...

 

It's like a bossy woman but very clumsy not thinking before a meet or what she was doing to me ...at all..

 

This is a 40 yr old woman were talking about...how could you not know beforehand to ask me this all before we meet..or get to know eachother.

 

But like i said. She tried to help a mentally ill guy once, and it didnt go right..and he stalks her..yet she never helped him with it...she also messes with people minds online i have heard from an older friends of hers...

 

You make a good point but im dealing with a person that is very ackward in her behavior online.

 

I had to leave certain friends behind on irc, and lost some friends on skype,

 

i even got one reaction by a guy which i alway had fun talking with on skype... calling me odd and creepy out of the blue one day , never did a bad thing to this guy..she knows him also and you could have guessed...any idiot knows whats up with that then...but she got angry made a big deal out of it and i got blamed once again for approaching him about it. She denied everything...

 

I think im dealing with a nasty person online who is not her self atall or off...the more i get to know the weirder the stories...

Edited April 17, 2014 by LouisAlexander

[todreaminblue]

That would actually be a very good point of you i now understand. I did not get a second chance though at all. She decided to bombard me with things i did not do right and kept doing that...when i said i was heart broken..its all about me and i should consider being polite and consider how she felt instead for once..calling me...rude at times even...

 

She is the boss of a pub but not that crazy extrovert at all when i was there...but very controlling...very much so...couldnt even clean up dishes cause it was organised yet it was all over the place...She could not get a table together..and i promised to fix it...even at this she said no no you're doing it wrong...yet i fixed it in about 10 minutes...lol.. She works in a mans world...but then again she has to realise im not a customer nor a co worker..i was her lover..yet the nasty trade was still there..so i noticed very quickly..and i did not like it at all..

 

Also she knows im introvert and shy, i also warned her before hand...ive been in relationships before and knew what to ask her before meeting up..but she all gave in and never wanted to discuss it for some reason..itll be heaven and fine...

 

It's like a bossy woman but very clumsy not thinking before a meet or what she was doing to me ...at all..

 

This is a 40 yr old woman were talking about...how could you not know beforehand to ask me this all before we meet..or get to know eachother.

 

But like i said. She tried to help a mentally ill guy once, and it didnt go right..and he stalks her..yet she never helped him with it...she also messes with people minds online i have heard from an older friends of hers...

 

You make a good point but im dealing with a person that is very ackward in her behavior online.

 

 

she doesn't sound right for you or anyone at the moment actually.....why do you want that chance.....what is it you like about her

 

 

everyone has issues...hers do sound like a mental issue as well......what are your positive issues with her wanting you to take a chance and for her to give you one back.....messing with peoples minds is really mean...i go into defense mode when someone is playing with my mind and serious defense when its my heart i need to protect......you need to protect yourself......if she doesnt give you a chance maybe that is the best for you.....deb

[LouisAlexander]

she doesn't sound right for you or anyone at the moment actually.....why do you want that chance.....what is it you like about her

 

everyone has issues...hers do sound like a mental issue as well......what are your positive issues with her wanting you to take a chance and for her to give you one back.....messing with peoples minds is really mean...i go into defense mode when someone is playing with my mind and serious defense when its my heart i need to protect......you need to protect yourself......if she doesnt give you a chance maybe that is the best for you.....deb

 

 

she was very kind at first, met her on a mutual forum, which i have been for years with people i know and are friends with. I was interested in the actual content and never paid attention to her to be honest. Im not the kind of guy who goes after girls online at all ever.

 

So i did not know what was up with her behavior. There's a little section there for drama i guess or issues...Im not into other peoples drama so i cannot tell you what its actually about..I was there for the forum content and not other peoples business.. it was a mature forum so.

 

I added her on skype at first from a certain thread ,not talking much at first. Didnt wanna push too much, she approached me played a little video game or 2..im not actually a giant fan of games but im easy going irl and online i am the same person..so why not helped her a little she liked that very much...i am actually a kind guy irl and not angry at all...ever...wouldnt matter if it was a dude or girl id be willing to help or chat with anyone approaching me.. we had fun...we talked about work some and i made cheesey jokes and so did she we had laughs....we got closer...and she said such cute things and i felt loved and understood i liked it...

 

then we exchanged pictures and noticed it was actly a pretty woman i was talking to also...i felt lucky...she liked my pics also. we send a ton.

 

 

 

i was so called the perfect man, wanting to cuddle and kiss and do romantic things with it...

 

the meet came up, i talked to her about the things i mentioned above...im from holland single just been in a realtionship for 2 yrs living alone with a cat hehe... im shy but once im comfortable ill be fine...all the things to make sure it was worth a meet...and to let her know where she was at in all this... I was short on money and she paid my ticket...i never asked for it...she said it wouldnt be a problem at all...

 

A week before we met i noticed changes...already..no more i love you's or cute talks...instead of asking me to talk to...i had to be the one to talk to her now...and it was one sided... i kept asking her for 3 days do you really want this do you really love me? yes she ensured me she was...and my friends told me just to go for it so i did...

[LouisAlexander]

 

everyone has issues...hers do sound like a mental issue as well......what are your positive issues with her wanting you to take a chance and for her to give you one back.....messing with peoples minds is really mean...i go into defense mode when someone is playing with my mind and serious defense when its my heart i need to protect......you need to protect yourself......if she doesnt give you a chance maybe that is the best for you.....deb

 

 

Yes i had to contact an old forum friend otherwise i would've never knew this ever. I noticed she talks about another girls personal life before a while back..She likes other peoples drama i think..and pretends to be another person on the forum...a big black woman...at first i thought it was funny and nothing serious..it would be for fun...but now that i think of it its something a 20 yr old would do...not a 40 yr old woman..its ackward..

 

besides her pub buddies she doesnt have any friends besides her daughter and online i think...i do...its a bit odd...especially the mentally ill guy and her behavior...which she hid from me ofcourse..cause those are nasty trades...

 

dont worry its over for me...i cant fall in love with a person who does these things and loves drama...thats the worst...maybe she just got me over and behave so distant hoping i would cause drama...

 

lol i could write a book about her...but its just very disturbing to me...hopefully i wont scare off people having online loves now...haha im not so lucky here..i guess.

Edited April 17, 2014 by LouisAlexander

[todreaminblue]

catfishing huh? i dont know louis.....i honestly dont.....

 

 

i think you should follow your heart what is best for you....i think you already know the pros and cons of taking a chance.....you could get hurt......but thats where love has no guarantees.......she could settle too and explain why she pretends to be a large black woman.....maybe she doesn't want people to mess with her because inside she is really insecure she is unsafe, who knows.......ask her, talk to her have a final discussion on where and what you want and what and where she wants this thing you have to go make plans for the future either to have closure or to move on in the relationship and give it a go....set some boundaries for you for her ....and i wish you the very best....best wishes..going to find some food...have a great day..deb

[LouisAlexander]

No not a catfish like that its all plain fun for her to create drama, she's abrely interested in guys or whatever..she does it for the drama i dunno she's been called a drama queen and my old buddy hasnt contacted her in 2 years...and he was glad after hearing my story lol...well duh..

 

 

tallking about all this she would blow up in my face even harder i think...not again..we did so much it never helps one bit...she refuses to see my point and will attack me n a clever way...not worth it haha. let her take something...otherwise not from my side anymore

 

Its not gonna work out from my side..im done...this woman is too odd and messed with me too much.

 

 

 

good idea, im hungry as well lol, enjoy your food and thank you for listening to my bible long rant.

Edited April 17, 2014 by LouisAlexander

[TAV]

Yes, sounds like she has done this thing before and you weren't to know that. But next time you meet a stronger in a foreign country and they tell you it will be fine and do not go into specifics please try to ask for a little more detail. Don't assume too much.

 

I can't agree on the falling in love online thing because I met my LDR online, though we were friends 1,5 yr before and we shared a lot about our life, more than we ever did with anyone else I'd say, so I knew when I started to see him as a man (instead of just a friend), and wanted to meet him, who he was as a person. The only thing I feared was if the connection would translate to real life. Luckily for us it did.

 

So if you ever find yourself in such a situation again instead of sending each other tons of pics and get blinded by the great looks etc. try to discover the person behind the pics first.

 

And well done for not playing her games and using your energy for other things.

[LouisAlexander]

Im not saying it wont ever work too bad i met the wrong type of woman, wasting months on her.

 

I told her i could be either a stalker or a very nice guy, she will never know lol.

 

since we never really had a good date anyway..that's her loss not mine.