Room 206

[gypzee_sue]

I am a 23 Canadian girl who met an English boy last June when I was backpacking through Australia. We were in the same 8-bed dorm in Brisbane (room 206 I will never forget). We were just two backpackers who had met and had a laugh. As soon as I met him I was instantly attracted to him – the accent didn’t hurt either. Before leaving Brisbane we exchanged Facebook info and that’s where it all started. I was continuing to travel down the coast and he was hanging around Brisbane to try and find work with his friends. As soon as he added me to Facebook we kept contact regularly. It was easy, comfortable and he made me laugh so much, even with his sometimes-confusing dry English humor. Eventually the conversations reached a point where we both knew there was a connection more then just backpacker buds. We knew we really liked each other and had to see each other again – but didn’t know where or when that would be.

 

A few weeks later my friend who I went travelling with and I decided to sadly go our separate ways. We hadn’t been getting along and we both had different ideas of where we wanted our travels to take us next. She had met a boy from New Zealand when we were in Asia a couple of months prior and I knew she had to go figure that out on her own. Off to New Zealand she went. Emotionally drained and confused, it was obvious where I had to go – back to Brisbane to see him.

 

I had no idea what to expect going back but I knew that I would figure out one thing – did we actually like each other? Last time I saw him we were just friends but we had built this bond that I needed to figure out, especially considering I was set on not getting involved with anyone before going travelling.

 

My time back in Brisbane with him was perfect. But even though our feelings had clearly grown, our minds both kept going back to “but we’re travelling”. Because I was not entirely sure how he felt about me, was getting tired of touristy cities, and still upset from splitting up from my friend, I made the impulse decision to leave Brisbane. My feelings were growing and I knew it was probably a bad idea since we were travelling so I decided to bail. I felt like I had to do something completely on my own since at the end of the day, I was now traveling by myself – not to mention I was scared of staying in Brisbane to potentially get my heart broken. I woke up the next morning, walked down to the job agency and told them to find me a job. I didn’t care what it was doing; all I needed was a. money and b. “send me to the middle of nowhere as soon as possible”. The next morning I would catch a bus 4 hours inland to a country called Dalby where I would work bartending and serving in a pub.

 

I had been distant from him for a couple of days now but I knew I had to tell him that I would be leaving the next morning. To be honest, I wasn’t even prepared to say bye. I just wanted to leave and be on my own and not deal with the goodbye cause I knew it was going to be hard. When I told him I was leaving he thought it was crazy that I did not want to say goodbye. I explained that I hated goodbyes and spilt the beans about the fact that my feelings had grown for him a lot. He was going out to the bar that night but I decided to stay in and pack since my bus was early the next morning. At 2am I woke up to a knock on my door and there he was drunkenly standing there declaring his feelings for me but letting me know he understood that I had to go. I was happy, confused, sad, relieved all at the same time. I had no idea he had felt that way and I had no idea what to do…but I knew I still had to go since I needed to work and was running low on money. He stayed in my bed that night and since he was still drunk in the morning not able to wake up, I grabbed my bags and slipped out of the room in tears not knowing when I would see him again.

 

The next 3 months I spent working in Dalby. The whole time while living in Dalby he and I had kept contact almost everyday. A few days after arriving in Dalby I knew I had made a mistake leaving him but I knew I had to tough it out and make a bunch of money before I knew I would eventually see him again – didn’t know where or when that would be. He had been working in a mining camp working 21 days on, 1 week off and eventually we had timed it so that I would leave Dalby when he was on his week off at work and we would reunite in Brisbane for the week before I would then head down to Sydney, and he would go back to work.

 

While I was working in Dalby at some point I made the decision that after having a week down in Sydney, I would be ready to go home to Canada. I wasn’t sure going to Dalby was the best decision for me mentally since it was pretty isolating there. I had become extremely homesick and as much as I loved travelling and cared about him, I felt that I needed to go home, go back to school and sort my future out. I had met so many amazing people and had so many amazing experiences but I was ready. My biggest fear in all of it was that I would get home and realize I had made a huge mistake.

 

 

I had saved up quite a bit of money in Dalby and I was so excited to see him again even though I knew it was only for a week. Once again, we had a great week in Brisbane but we had both our flights booked for the same morning. Mine to Sydney and his back to the mining camp. The drive to the airport was awful…I knew that this was probably going to be our final goodbye. But as always, I had hope in the back of my mind that we would somewhere, somehow see each other again. When the time eventually came for his flight to board, he looked over at me, got up and ran over to the desk to tell them to take his bags off the plane. He was coming to Sydney with me. I was so happy to spend my last days of my trip with him.

 

We had such a great week in Sydney together. It was perfect. During our time there he had also made the decision that he would be going back to England the same day as me. He felt he had travelled enough and wanted to get his schooling out of the way to become a plumber so he could eventually travel again. Our flights were leaving 5 minutes apart from each other and our gates were right beside each other. I’ve never hugged someone for so long before. Minutes before we boarded our flights I told him I loved him. He didn’t say it back – later explaining that he felt he would’ve only been saying it because we may not see each other again. I had never been so torn before and as much as I knew I loved him, I knew I had to go home and sort myself out before I could completely commit myself to anyone – commitment always being a fear I’ve had in past relationships.

 

This brings us to the end of October last year. I returned home and I was happy with my decision, but there was something missing. We kept in contact speaking almost every day and face timing often. It was extremely hard but at the same time I just couldn’t imagine him not being in my life. We had conversations about him coming to Canada or me going to England but had no idea when/if it would happen. I had to see him again I knew that much. Right before Christmas I booked off 2 weeks for the end of February and on Christmas morning I booked a return ticket to England and sent him a picture of my flight details with “Merry Christmas” written underneath. I was going to England!!! I never ever would’ve thought I would go to a different country to see a boy. It’s never been in my character but the truth is you never really understand until you are in the situation and you know how strong your feelings are. We talked everyday up until I left, so excited to see each other again. We would travel around England together and I would stay with his family for a few nights. I was counting down the days.

 

 

The day finally came for me to go there. He picked me up from the airport and as soon as I saw his face it was reassurance in my heart knowing I had made the right decision. Seeing him had brought back all of the feelings I had in Australia and I could not wait to spend the next 2 weeks with him. England was amazing. His family was amazing and so so sweet and welcoming. I pictured living there at some point in my life and it felt right. I figured before I left to go back home we would’ve had a conversation on exactly what to do moving forward. But that conversation didn’t exactly happen because honestly, we had no idea what to do. The reality was we were both going back to school, and we just couldn’t put our lives on hold for each other not knowing when we could be together.

 

It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been home now and it’s been pretty rough. I cried for days when I got home. I have been through hard breakups before but nothing is comparable to this feeling. Not being able to be with someone solely because of distance is the most frustrating and heartbreaking thing to try and accept. Since I’ve been home we have tried to cut contact a few times because it is just too hard, but it doesn’t last longer then a couple of days until we break and talk to each other again. I don’t know what to do. I know I should move on with my life and leave it to fate. It we are truly meant to be together it will happen. I also know that no matter how many guys I meet here, no one will compare to him and no one shares the same experiences we have shared together.

Edited April 1, 2014 by gypzee_sue

[Noproblem]

This is such a beautiful story.. You know you fought for him a lot.

 

It's nice how you end up together and your story is so beautiful, I hate to see it end.

 

can't you study abroad in England?

 

But I understand, your future is important and you should work for it....

 

 

Still, it's really hard for you, to love someone and be so far away from him.....I feel you love him more than he does love you..but yeah he loves you too...

 

He want to be a plumber, I am sure there are plumbing schools in Canada too...

Doesn't he ever think about coming to Canada?

[TAV]

Aw, love, such pleasure, such pain. Nobody can take away the beautiful memories that you 2 have created. If you are really meant to be together you will both have trouble to stay away from each other and at one point you will both come up with a timetable and plans to be together indefinitely. I know it is very hard but try to focus on your life meanwhile and enjoy the moments you do get together. If it turns into a standard LDR thing you will learn how to deal with the distance, the missing each other and value the things you do get and share instead.

I also agree with No Problem; a plumber can work anywhere so that's a plus already.

Not all is lost

[justwhoiam]

I guess you're some joyful, open girl. You have the resources within you to fight those feelings making you sad and down.

 

You cry because you feel powerless about him being far away, or you being so far away. Start thinking of the positive things. How lucky you were meeting him, how good he is, etc.

 

I too think that if it's meant to be, everything will go the right way... But I also think that it takes two to make things work. If he sees you're dealing with it the wrong way, always crying and sad, he might feel forced to stop talking to you. I think you'd be losing a great opportunity.

 

I have no idea if he's the one for you. And if you started an exclusive relationship with this English guy, you'd be "missing out" on other things in college... If I were sure he's the one, I wouldn't even care about possibly "missing out". But again, it takes two to go down the road of a LDR.

 

I'm all for serious things and bonds. And I'm not sure it's something you want at this point in your life, or if it's something he wants.

But maybe you can try and talk to him and see if he's ready to "part ways" for real and for good. If he's not, I would consider a steady relationship with him. It'd be hard for a few years, but not impossible. It mainly depends on both your personalities, how strong you both are, and how committed.