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How to know if he is who he claims to be ?


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I'm afraid that I might be catfished.

I've been with my LDBF since August . We chat a lot and we both love each other a lot. He doesn't have any social media accounts except email, kik, and Skype. But I can't see him on video on Skype or hear his voice becuase he says that his computer is old . He also says that he has a really old iPod but he is saving up money to buy a new smartphone with a camera so we can both chat on video . Who saw me on video on Skype but I didn't see him. I've only seen him in pictures that he sent , many of them where with his baby cousin or friends he also showed me ones of him alone some where of really good quality but others weren't . I know many stuff about him and he does too. I once told him to video chat with me from a friends but he said he'll try to and never did . I aske him to send me a video on kik but he said he doesn't have a video cam. He told some of his friends about me and he said that they liked me

 

Does he seem the same person he is claiming to be? And how do I know for sure ?

We live in different contenets so it's hard to meet soon but we will meet in the future when I come to his country

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Do you know the Catfish show on MTV? It will give you all the clues as to how you can find out he is real or not. And if that doesn't work there is this thing called common sense; if he was really into you he'd do anything to meet you in person, let alone have a face to face conversation on Skype (what does a webcam cost anyway?). Do you really need to find love in this way? Surely you can do better. You know you are being fooled, I'm not sure why you enjoy it.

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Don't call someone your boyfriend if you two haven't met in person. Period.

This guy is flat out dodgy and has a lot of excuses to show his face on cam. How hard can that be? Even the shyest person needs to prove he's real if he's gonna be in a relationship. This one doesn't really care maybe cos he's a poser. Beware. Did you even hear his voice yet? He's probably a woman or an 11-year old or a pedophile. Who knows?

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I've been with my LDBF since August
I agree with ohnoo: never call anyone your boyfriend until you've met in person.

 

Does he seem the same person he is claiming to be?
Hard to tell. But nowadays, a guy only sending pics for 7 months is not good.

 

And how do I know for sure?
Make a small investment. Like $3 of Skype credit. Get his mobile number, then call his mobile from Skype. At least you will be able to hear his voice. If he finds some excuse and says he has no cell phone, then I think the catfish option is getting more and more probable.

 

As a second step, if you feel like going through the hassle, is you ask him for his home address, workplace/school and then check on him. You can try do search on your own, or put in $20 to access sure information. There are companies offering this service.

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I agree with ohnoo: never call anyone your boyfriend until you've met in person.

 

Hard to tell. But nowadays, a guy only sending pics for 7 months is not good.

 

Make a small investment. Like $3 of Skype credit. Get his mobile number, then call his mobile from Skype. At least you will be able to hear his voice. If he finds some excuse and says he has no cell phone, then I think the catfish option is getting more and more probable.

 

As a second step, if you feel like going through the hassle, is you ask him for his home address, workplace/school and then check on him. You can try do search on your own, or put in $20 to access sure information. There are companies offering this service.

 

 

hello, thanks for helping out.

he always tells me that he is saving up money to buy a new smart phone, and i googled all his photos and inverse searched them and i couldn't find them anywhere else. he says that he has a cell phone but cant do overseas calls because of optus the communication service where he lives. he told me where he lives but not a specific address just the city and state.

does that show that he might be lying?

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How in the rational world can you be in love with someone you have never met, not certain if you even know what he really looks like?????

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I'm afraid that I might be catfished.

Based on everything you wrote, I think you are 99.99% sure you HAVE been cat-fished.

 

And what others have said: You don't have a boyfriend and you aren't in love.

 

You have created a relationship - mostly in your mind - by filling in the gaps based on what this other person has given you. The feelings are real, but not for a real person. They are for the perfect, imaginary person you have fantasized about in your head.

 

Until you actually meet someone in REAL LIFE, it is not 100% real.

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hello, thanks for helping out.

he always tells me that he is saving up money to buy a new smart phone, and i googled all his photos and inverse searched them and i couldn't find them anywhere else. he says that he has a cell phone but cant do overseas calls because of optus the communication service where he lives. he told me where he lives but not a specific address just the city and state.

does that show that he might be lying?

 

If he is real and he cannot even afford a new phone, or a phone service that allows him to call overseas, how in hell is he going to afford visiting you?

A 12 year old school boy playing with your mind sounds more and more plausible. Did you not feel awkward sitting in front of that cam not knowing who was on the other end?

I'm sorry to sound so harsh but honestly; my teenage kids are more streetwise than you.

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If he is legitimately too poor to ever meet you, what is the point?

 

As for cell phone service from overseas, google cheap international services. There are loads of them he can use. Some you just dial in a series of numbers and others you subscribe. No excuses for him (or her?).

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he always tells me that he is saving up money to buy a new smart phone
What does this have to do with what I said? He doesn't need a smart phone for you to call him on his cell phone number. You call through Skype, buying some credit like $3 and call his number. That's all.

 

i googled all his photos and inverse searched them
Through tineye.com?

 

he says that he has a cell phone but cant do overseas calls because of optus the communication service where he lives.
Again, if you call him, he should receive the call for free. And no special service should be active on his mobile to receive it. And you can also check that he is where he claims he is. At least country. Besides hearing his voice.

 

does that show that he might be lying?
Of course he might be. You have too little information. The best way would be ordering a check on him (residence, how many times he moved/where and when, where he was born, family status, etc.). If you can call his number and get to talk to him or the person answering, you could give his mobile number to the agency, and they will tell you who is registered with that number. I'm not 100% sure about that, because it greatly depends on the country, how they store information and the level of privacy.

 

Anyway, after you get more information about him through a third party, you can start checking with this new information and see what you can find. He might have stolen someone else's identity too.

 

That's in the worst scenario. In the best one, he's just a young kid with no money. Can you give us a clue about his country?

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LittleTiger

In January you posted about a guy you'd been seeing for seven months (at that point) who lives in New Zealand, and who you have apparently met once. Is this the same guy?

 

Since your stories from the two threads don't really match, it makes me wonder if you're 'catfishing' us!

 

How long have you really known him? Seven months or nine months?

 

Have you met him in person 'once', or not at all?

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What does this have to do with what I said? He doesn't need a smart phone for you to call him on his cell phone number. You call through Skype, buying some credit like $3 and call his number. That's all.

 

Through tineye.com?

 

Again, if you call him, he should receive the call for free. And no special service should be active on his mobile to receive it. And you can also check that he is where he claims he is. At least country. Besides hearing his voice.

 

Of course he might be. You have too little information. The best way would be ordering a check on him (residence, how many times he moved/where and when, where he was born, family status, etc.). If you can call his number and get to talk to him or the person answering, you could give his mobile number to the agency, and they will tell you who is registered with that number. I'm not 100% sure about that, because it greatly depends on the country, how they store information and the level of privacy.

 

Anyway, after you get more information about him through a third party, you can start checking with this new information and see what you can find. He might have stolen someone else's identity too.

 

That's in the worst scenario. In the best one, he's just a young kid with no money. Can you give us a clue about his country?

 

 

yeah i did them through tineye.com and google (where u drop an image and many links to it appear)

he is in Australia but he is originally eastern European, and he only chats with me when its like from 6 pm to 3 am ) there because of harsh timezone difference.

ill try to call him through skype when i talk with him again, but i dont know i have a gut feeling that hes real and hes who he claims to be.

from what he told me, his family status is not wealthy, and his parents are divorced. ill try to get his exact address too.

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In January you posted about a guy you'd been seeing for seven months (at that point) who lives in New Zealand, and who you have apparently met once. Is this the same guy?

 

Since your stories from the two threads don't really match, it makes me wonder if you're 'catfishing' us!

 

How long have you really known him? Seven months or nine months?

 

Have you met him in person 'once', or not at all?

 

no trust me im not catfishing anyone, and its not the same guy, and my friend and i share the same account, thats her story not mine.

i never met him at all. im new to this site whom my friend told me about

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i searched him on the white pages and many other people finder sites and i didnt find him in any, but i also searched myself and didnt find myself in any. he always tells me sweet stuff and is nice to me and loving and caring, and i once asked him if he will still live me when/if i come visit him and he said he doesnt know, his feelings might change towards me. he also motivated me to do some good stuff lol. based on his many different pictures that i saw, he is the guy i was always waiting for, a tall guy with blue eyes and dark hair. but offcourse he never new this.

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Do you have a street address / snail mail address for him? Send him a card or letter. I'd send it certified mail or some way that you get a written receipt when it's delivered.

 

 

If you don't have a street address for him, assume he's catfishing you & cease all communications.

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i searched him on the white pages and many other people finder sites and i didnt find him in any, but i also searched myself and didnt find myself in any. he always tells me sweet stuff and is nice to me and loving and caring, and i once asked him if he will still live me when/if i come visit him and he said he doesnt know, his feelings might change towards me. he also motivated me to do some good stuff lol. based on his many different pictures that i saw, he is the guy i was always waiting for, a tall guy with blue eyes and dark hair. but offcourse he never new this.

If he doesn't have a landline or not living on his own, but with one of his parents or someone else, his name might not be on white pages... Anyway, as I told you, you can get some information from a third party specializing in such things, like the ones who can check if you're a good payer.

Ask him what his mother and father's names are. Be smart and spread your questions as if they were casual. Don't ask everything in one conversation or so that he might get suspicious about you checking on him.

Good luck. Let us know what you find out.

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no trust me im not catfishing anyone, and its not the same guy, and my friend and i share the same account, thats her story not mine.

i never met him at all. im new to this site whom my friend told me about

 

Sorry, *this* sounds fishy to me...

 

Best,

TMichaels

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If he doesn't have a landline or not living on his own, but with one of his parents or someone else, his name might not be on white pages... Anyway, as I told you, you can get some information from a third party specializing in such things, like the ones who can check if you're a good payer.

Ask him what his mother and father's names are. Be smart and spread your questions as if they were casual. Don't ask everything in one conversation or so that he might get suspicious about you checking on him.

Good luck. Let us know what you find out.

 

yeah he told me that he lives with his mom. ill ask and check everything out thanks.

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Michelle ma Belle

Speaking as woman with a fair amount of experience under her belt THIS sounds like a Catfish. As you can clearly see from all the other posts, if there is a will there is way. Period. This guy is chalk full of excuses as are you. After 7 months, there should have been a major attempt at making visual contact by now. Seriously. Poor or not, there are a multitude of ways to connect with someone far away for next to no money at all and if you want me to list them all out for you, I will.

 

I'm not saying that the person on the other end isn't telling you "truths" about themselves but what I AM saying is that whatever picture(s) they are sending you may not be matching the person they are in reality. That might be fine with you, especially if you say you have a great connection and he seems sincere etc., BUT if you're fantasizing about him in anyway and dreaming about meeting him one day and moving across the globe to be together and live happily-ever-after, you best shelve those foolish feelings until you get a VISUAL on who you're spending so much time and energy on.

 

And just a side note about the reverse image search; this isn't a conclusive form of confirming liars. Catfishers have become VERY savvy over the years and many will rarely post pics of models or celebrities or images taken off of popular websites or online catalogs for exactly this reason. Instead they will creep everyday people's open online profiles and steal their photos. These pictures are MUCH harder to track and therefore can give you a false sense of security. Trust me on this one!

 

I think you need to get straight about what you want from this guy and if you want more including a future with him, I think it's ultimatum time for this guy.

 

Good luck.

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I contacted him today and it went on:

He: hey what's up babe?

Me: Nthn much just watching tv

Him: what u watching

Me: catfish

Him: oh I love that show

Me : me too :)

Me: are u catfish ing me ? ( I said it as a joke)

Him : ur being silly , just that I have a crapy computer and can't afford a new one doesn't make me a catfish

Me: u can buy a cheap webcam

Him: it doesn't work on my old crap computer

Me: can u use a friends laptop or phone

Him: they probably won't let me

Me: oh

Him: I told u I'm saving up for a new phone with cam and then we will video Skype

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Michelle ma Belle
I contacted him today and it went on:

He: hey what's up babe?

Me: Nthn much just watching tv

Him: what u watching

Me: catfish

Him: oh I love that show

Me : me too :)

Me: are u catfish ing me ? ( I said it as a joke)

Him : ur being silly , just that I have a crapy computer and can't afford a new one doesn't make me a catfish

Me: u can buy a cheap webcam

Him: it doesn't work on my old crap computer

Me: can u use a friends laptop or phone

Him: they probably won't let me

Me: oh

Him: I told u I'm saving up for a new phone with cam and then we will video Skype

 

Sounds like deja-vu to me.

 

Can you tell me, what kind of pics has been sending you? I mean, is he generous with them? Him in a variety of situations and/or with friends? etc.

 

If you want to test him, I used to ask men I was chatting with to send me a picture of them holding up a piece of paper that said "Hello Michelle". It will guarantee that you get a RECENT picture if nothing else. Even if HE doesn't have a camera on his phone or owns a digital camera I'm fairly certain that one of his friends would have one or the other. All he has to do is ask them to help him out. Wouldn't you do that if you're friend asked you? It's really that simple.

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I contacted him today and it went on:

He: hey what's up babe?

Me: Nthn much just watching tv

Him: what u watching

Me: catfish

Him: oh I love that show

Me : me too :)

Me: are u catfish ing me ? ( I said it as a joke)

Him : ur being silly , just that I have a crapy computer and can't afford a new one doesn't make me a catfisih

Me: u can buy a cheap webcam

Him: it doesn't work on my old crap computer

Me: can u use a friends laptop or phone

Him: they probably won't let me

Me: oh

Him: I told u I'm saving up for a new phone with cam and then we will video Skype

 

My bf has a crappy old computer and he has a cam that works. He did not sound surprised at all at your question, as if he had been expecting it. And he made no gesture at all to put your mind at ease.

What about the phone thing justwhoiam suggested or asking for a snail mail adress. I think you need this fantasy to stay alive or maybe you are a fantasy yourself.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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