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When he hasn't texted back does it mean it is over?


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I met this guy online about 5 weeks ago. Our communication was strong for the first couple of weeks. But something happened and I had to travel out of the country.

 

Actually, something happened before we met so I was well aware that I would be traveling in a few weeks, and I told him about it since day 1. He didn't seem to have a problem with it. The direction of our relationship seemed that if we were to work out, it would likely be serious. He told me that he was looking for the real thing now and he thought I was what he has been looking for. I thought we had a good thing going on too.

 

The day before a left, I texted him asking if it would be weird between us if we didn't communicate for 2 weeks. He told me," No way. We have something great, and you told me before hand that you are traveling. I'll talk to you when you get back." And I said," thank you babe. That means a lot to me. I will talk to you in a few weeks." ( we already called eachother pet names)

 

To my surprise, I found a way of getting in contact with him while abroad. Telephone access is really hard to find over there. I texted him with my aunts number, "hey it's jen, I surprisingly found telephone access. Hope all is well? I miss you!" And he didn't respond. This was a about 9 days after I left. My aunt assured me that it likely did not go through since we were in a rural area, and she told me to try my uncle's phone about a mile away since he had better network connection. I sent the same text, no response. My uncle said, he will buy me a SIM card once we get back to the city after the funeral and my phone will work. My uncle bought me the SIM card and I was able to text my friends and family at home and they all got it. I texted him, but he didn't respond.

 

He knows that I was supposed to return back to the States on Friday, but hasn't reached out to me. I don't want to reach out to him again because I don't want to come off as needy. It's crazy because we planned to meet for the first time this upcoming Friday. (He lives 2 hours away.)

 

A part of me wondered if he is okay, but the smart side of me suspects that he must have met someone else while I was away. It's just sad that someone that made so promises to break my heart and to always be honest with me is now being so shady. I don't know what to think. Should I reach out again?

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I personally wouldn't make any more contact, if they wanted to talk to you they would.

 

Worst case scenario- this is a good lesson for you, don't listen to promises made during the first 5 week period, people are not usually able to carry out such promises when they are not quite familiar with that person.

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You started calling each other pet names after 2 weeks........ without having met.

 

You left with the agreement to get back in touch once you were back home, and broke the agreement, texting him 3 times. It was YOUR idea. You could have been more vague, like: I'm not sure I can get in touch while I'm away, if I can, I will and I hope to hear from you.

So you first show how you'd be fine with cutting off contact, then while there, you can't help it and reach out to him.

 

Sure, it's weird he never texted back with at least a "Hi. I'm ok. I hope you're fine too".

 

Leave any expectation for after the meeting. Now it's way too early. And honestly, you barely know this man.

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I don't think anything is"weird" per say when it comes to dating/relationships. Something's may be less common, but it all depends on the dynamics of the relationship. In our case, we both knew what we wanted and what we didn't want (Atleast he made me believe that he did) Honesty was our number one rule. We agreed of ever a time any of us lost interest, we would be honest and up front about it.

 

Within those short 3 weeks one may have thought we have been together for a while. It's not like we were in a honeymoon phase. We had disagreements, but in a few hours he would either call me apologizing and saying,"let's start over" or vice versa. I've always said, aside from seeing eachother romantically, I could honestly see him as a good friend.

Not really sure what happened within 9 days that could change 3 perfect weeks of talking to eachother.

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Yes, I am home now. I got home 2 days ago. He was aware of my return date. I told him before I left. I didn't reach out to him since I got home because since he did not respond to my other 3 texts I sent while I was away. Maybe he isn't interested anymore and doesn't have the courage to respond.

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Call him now.

 

If he isn't interested, so your call will clarify things for you, and you can move on.

If he is interested and just didnt get your texts or other explanation, you'll be happy.

 

calling him is a win win situation.

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JourneyLady
Call him now.

 

If he isn't interested, so your call will clarify things for you, and you can move on.

If he is interested and just didnt get your texts or other explanation, you'll be happy.

 

calling him is a win win situation.

 

If he didn't get her texts and was still interested in her that much, he'd be calling HER to make sure she got home okay. Like the guy I just said goodbye to -- if you are making an effort and they aren't (and if they are super into you, they will make more effort than you do) then it's likely they met someone else or crushing on someone else, or have lost interest for some other reason...

 

You really don't want to be back-up girl. It hurts worse than letting someone go quickly.

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Since you are home now, I would call him. When you talk to him ask him what happened & why he didn't respond. It sounds unlikely that he would have met somebody else. You are also entitled to know if your meet up is still scheduled. Even if it is over, at least you will know instead of assuming.

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