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3000 miles and 4 months away!


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I don't really know why I'm posting this... but I thought I'd get some opinions.

 

I have been dating this guy for about a month. He is a great guy and treats me so well. The problem is he lives 3000 miles away. I have known him through my brothers for a very long time, but didn't get to know him until a little over a month ago when he was here on vacation. We hit it off really well and he has plans to move here in about 4 months. I figured it was worth a try because he is such a great guy. We are in constant contact talking at very least once a day but usually atleast twice. But that doesn't seem to be cutting it for me anymore.

 

The hardest part is I don't really know what life with him is like, so it's life without him that I miss. I miss single life, dating, and my independence. I don't think I should feel this way, but I do. So a big part of me wants to break up with him, and maybe try dating him when he gets back here, but at the same time I don't want to ruin things with him. He seems really attached to me at this point, which kind of scares me too, because it's only been a month.

 

So I guess I'm just trying to figure out what to do. I have to keep in mind that he is very good friends with two of my brothers, another complication in itself. He is a really great guy, but maybe I'm just not ready to settle down (but thats another post for another day).

 

Any advice/thoughts?

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Your key to what you want is your desire. If you don't want his company more than you want 'the single life', then clearly you're not all that interested in him.

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StrengthThruStruggle

It doesn't sound like you are ready to settle down with just one person. I know you are probably thinking how hard it will be to hurt this person who you've come to care for, but think of how much more it's going to hurt when these feelings you are having now begin to overwhelm you in another month or so and you break it off then? That just gives him another month he's invested in a relationship you are already doubting. By prolonging it, you ARE hurting him. Unfortunately either way the hurt will come, but it is here you have to decide between the lesser of two evils.

 

I'm sorry for you, but look deep inside yourself. Is it what you really want?

 

Good luck with that decision. Keep us posted.

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Thank you Strength... you are exactly right. I guess I am kind of stringing him along and that isn't fair to him. I know what I need to do, now I just have to find the courage to do it.

 

Despite what some may think I don't think I am feeling this because of lack of interest in him. But Strength hit the nail on the head, I'm just plain ready to settle down yet. I find myself wanting to be in that place but I'm not and I need to face that. I'm only 22 and have a lot of living left to do!

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