I keep crying... and crying...and crying... how do i stop?

[Swthugznkisez]

i have been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months. He lost his job and is moving back home with his family to save money. He already has a job lined up there. He lives about 45 minutes away and when he moves he'll be about 5-6 hours away. Due to my schedule i won't be able to go down there and visit that much. I don't know how often he can come and visit. He is leaving tomorrow. For the past month ever since i found out he was moving, i have been crying myself to sleep every night, even when he was over at my house(when he would be asleep, i would stare at him and cry). I can't stop crying. We are still together and are going to try to make this work. (Planning to move down there after i pass my board exams.. I HOPE I PASS!) but thing is I CAN'T STOP CRYING. Everything i look at reminds me of him. I look at dogs and i remember the times that i saw him playing with them. I start crying. I see my front gate and i remember all the times i have opened it for him. I start crying. I look at or drive my car and i remember all the times he drove it. I start crying. I feel like i am losing my best friend I can't stop crying. why can't i stop crying? how can i stop crying? I know we will see each other again... BUT I CAN'T STOP CRYING!!!!!

[suzeze]

So sorry you're feeling sad. I think I can speak for all the others that are in a LDR that we know what you're going through. It isn't the end, don't think of the negative, think of the positive. Time has a way of speeding by and before you know it, you two will be together again.

 

It does hurt and that's natural but if you and your SO stick with it, your love will grow stronger and deeper.

 

Try to fill your time with other things and keep in contact.

 

There is a saying that says, if it's worth having than it's worth waiting for.

 

Good luck and be brave.

[Swthugznkisez]

In our relationship, he is the more rational one and i am the more emotional one. Yet, it would be nice if he cried a lil instead of telling me that all would be fine in his normal tone of voice. I knows guys can cry...come on.. shed a tear, a sniffle... something...

[suzeze]

Men will never be the same as women. We always show our emotions more but they feel the same things we do inside.

 

My S/O is just the same. He's been bought up not to show his feelings and taught that men are not supposed to cry. I bought my son up differently.

 

Don't think for one minute that because he doesn't shed a tear, he doesn't care. One is always the more calmer of the two in a relationship. I suppose it's a good thing really!

 

Be there for him and if you want this relationship, hang on. If it's meant to be it will be.

 

[Olivia_19742004]

Many people have endured long-distance relationships and you can too. The first thing that comes to mind is I wonder what your environment is like. Do you live alone? Are you near friends or family? Do you have anyone else to occupy your time other than your boyfriend? Do you do anything independently without your boyfriend? I know the thought of not seeing him on a daily basis is very difficult and I understand how this could cause you to be sad and feel lonely, but crying non-stop doesn't appear to be a healthy behavior to me.

 

If I would have to guess without having all the data I would think that you're probably too dependent on him in your life. I know many of us don't want to just survive in life without someone else but the ability to survive in life without someone else is imperative for our emotional sanity.

 

From the sound of this it is probably a good thing for you to be apart from him for a while. Distance doesn't make it easier on a relationship but true love knows no boundaries. When the both of you survive this test and find yourselves living near each other again you will be stronger and wiser and you will know that the two of you can withstand just about anything.

 

Life isn't easy and I know this is hard on you, but you're an adult and perpetuating your own grief isn't very healthy. Maybe you should talk to someone about the feelings you encounter when you think about life without him near you.

 

He's not dead. He's just going to be five hours away and you even stated you're going to move down there. Be strong and come to terms with what needs to be done.

[Swthugznkisez]

first off.. i live with my family. secondly, I didn't see him everyday. I saw him like once a week. As a result, i did a lot of things without him. I guess its just that it was nice that if i had a problem or really needed someone to talk to (cuz he is like my best friend also) he was only like 45 minutes to an hour away. I could go and see him. Now he is 5 to 6 hours away. I can't or he can't just drop everything and come over and to just hold me and say that everything will be ok cuz I'm here... CUZ HE IS NOT! I wish he was. I really need his arms around me right now to tell me everything will be ok.

[Olivia_19742004]

Who held you and told you it was going to be okay before you were with him? I think it's natural to need some security and comfort from another person but I think something is amiss here. If you had communicated that you were having a hard time because he wouldn't be there to comfort you when you needed it I wouldn't think anything else needed to be examined, but what you've communicated almost appears to be an extremely heightened form of depression.

 

Crying every day isn't healthy. You know that. My gut tells me that you have some issues that you need to analyze for your own well-being. I don't think that your depression is solely based on his moving to another area and I don't think just being near him is the solution for what you're feeling. I really get the sense that there is something deeper inside of you that causes you to feel this much grief over something that isn't as heart-wrenching as you seem to communicate it is.

 

Don't let someone else become the solution to your sadness. Don't allow someone to fill a void within you because it makes the days easier to handle. I'm not telling you not to have your boyfriend in your life but I worry that you're looking for someone else to fill some emptiness you have that you will only be able to fill yourself and that is why you are experiencing this separation as a great loss.

 

It is good to have someone there to comfort us and give us a place of solace but no one can fill any emptiness you may feel inside. You need to be complete within yourself before you can be complete with someone else. I really hope you sit down and think about what it is you're really feeling and why you're feeling it and find a way to work through it. Your heartache seems so much more internal than just being separated from your boyfriend for a short period.

[blue-green]

Originally posted by suzeze

Men will never be the same as women. We always show our emotions more but they feel the same things we do inside.

 

My S/O is just the same. He's been bought up not to show his feelings and taught that men are not supposed to cry. I bought my son up differently.

 

Don't think for one minute that because he doesn't shed a tear, he doesn't care. One is always the more calmer of the two in a relationship. I suppose it's a good thing really!

 

Be there for him and if you want this relationship, hang on. If it's meant to be it will be.

 

 

Hold on a sec. I am a male and 29. I used to never ever, ever cry! I can't even remember the last time I cried. I litterally thought I was wacked out, because at about 25 or so a family member passed away and again, I didnt cry. It's not like I didnt care, I just couldnt cry no matter how hard it hurt!

 

I'd hurt myself doing something and I couldnt cry no matter wjat. I used to joke that I could probably get shot or something and not cry.

 

Then I met my ex-gf. We were together and I loved her more than anyone in the world. She broke up with me and all of a sudden I couldnt stop crying! I cryed and cryed just like you are doing, although for a bit of a different reason. But I couldnt believe what was happening to me. I'd wake up in the morning and cry, and fall asleep sometimes while I was crying. It sucked bigtime!

 

Here's the REALLY STRANGE part! I eventually got over my ex (just within the last year in fact) but now I have no problem crying. In fact, embarrassingly enough, I tear up during certain movies. WHAT THE HELL I am not a girl and I can't believe I got teary eyed over SeaBiscuit. Give me a freaking break!

 

I SWEAR it's like my exgf broke something in my brain because now I get all emotional somtimes and holy crap, when I start to get a little teary eyed during a movie I have to do some serious moves to play-it-off like I have allergies or something. But again, WHAT THE HELL is going on with me???!??!?!?!?!

 

So I go from having not cried since I was an infant (about 25 years) to all of a sudden I'm Mr emotional with movies and stuff. Oh brother!

 

Blue-Green

[whispering_willoww]

Swthugznkisez............... i know EXACTLY how you feel. I have been in my LDR for 1 month now, he used to live here but he moved about 7 hrs away. i have seen him once, but it is so hard. i too live with family, but i know what you mean by needing him there at times. it is so hard but somehow you make it through. i have been in a rut today about our relationship and feel like crying a lot too. has he left yet? i know for me it was the anticipation of him leaving, i cried all the time when he wasn't looking, eventhough he knew me better than that and always tried to cheer me up. i would watch him sleep and cry too because i kept thinking of the times i would not be able to watch him anymore . just the nearness of having him close by was comforting. i have always been independent, but for some reason with him it was different and we did practically spend every day together for 5 months. i really felt and feel that he is my soul mate so with him leaving i felt apart of me would be gone and i still do. we talk a lot and i plan on visiting again this month (this will be my 2nd visit since he has left), but nothing is like having him here with me. i have a lot of momentos of him and they make me sad at times and happy at others. needless to say i think i know exactly what you are going through cause i'm dealing with the same thing too. it's not that you are being too dependent it's just being in love. i know in time everything will work out but that still doesn't change the fact that i miss him now, in the present tense. maybe for those who have been in ldr's for a while they don't remember what that initial hurt really felt like but it is heartwrenching. i cried so long and hard at first and then it got better. this forum has been a pretty good help though i will say. honey if you ever want to actually chat u can find me on yahoo under the same name just let me know who you are

[Sweetcandi20]

Crying is good no matter how you look at it.....in a sense it releases emotions, thoughts, and etc that you are unable to verbally say......My bf and I went through long distance and will soon be back in that situation...try opening other ways of seeing each other....invest in a web cam...instant messaging.....love letters...cards....pictures....arrange time during the month when you can meet half way.....it its true love and you are meant to be together...you will find ways to be together....

 

 

Believe me it was hard sending him home on the train....but each time....i got a little stronger and it may be hard to believe but distance makes the heart grow fonder........hope this helps!!!!!