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Things I should discuss before it becomes an LDR


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Hello all LDR experienced loveshackers,

 

My guy is leaving for the South next week for work and we are in a newly formed relationship. What things should we be discussing before he leaves?

 

Things I've already thought of to discuss:

 

- How we will keep in touch (letters, email, texts, skype, calls, etc.)

- How often we will see each other

- Aaaand that's all I can think of...:laugh:

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LittleTiger

Welcome to the wonderful world of LDRs! :)

 

I think you've got it pretty much covered there really. Communication is the key to any successful relationship and, even more so in a LDR.

 

When you discuss 'how' you'll communicate, remember also to discuss when and how often and for how long. One person's regular contact might be different from someone else's.

 

If he is going for work, do you know how long the LDR will last? Having an end date and making plans for being together permanently at some point in the future will help you both to cope with the time apart.

 

Other than that, it's a case of making it up as you go along. You'll hit obstacles along the way, we all do, but you'll find a way to work through them. You can even get advice on LS if you get really stuck! :p

 

Good luck and keep us posted. :)

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I think the most important thing is to be frank about one thing

 

you should agree to be honest about your feelings and commitments no matter what happens

 

you should tell him, hey promise me if you had a feeling for someone else or felt like this is not working for you anymore, you should be honest and man enough to say it and you should promise him to do the same......

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LittleTiger
I think the most important thing is to be frank about one thing

 

you should agree to be honest about your feelings and commitments no matter what happens

 

you should tell him, hey promise me if you had a feeling for someone else or felt like this is not working for you anymore, you should be honest and man enough to say it and you should promise him to do the same......

 

Interesting suggestion! :confused:

 

Isn't this something all couples should be honest about? Regardless of how far apart they live?

 

Unless, of course, you are of the opinion that it's more difficult to remain faithful, both physically and emotionally in an LDR?

 

In my book a committed relationship is a committed relationship, regardless of distance. If either partner is likely to stray because they don't like being alone, or can't manage without sex twice a week, then they should probably forget about attempting an LDR!

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HeavenOrHell

Having feelings for someone else shouldn't be any more likely in an LDR than in any other r/ship, either you're committed to that person and want only them, or you're not.

 

 

I think the most important thing is to be frank about one thing

 

you should agree to be honest about your feelings and commitments no matter what happens

 

you should tell him, hey promise me if you had a feeling for someone else or felt like this is not working for you anymore, you should be honest and man enough to say it and you should promise him to do the same......

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What things should we be discussing before he leaves?

- Contact person for emergencies (a colleague, a friend, a relative, one for you and one for him)

- Plan B (for when you don't hear from each other for 3 days in a row)

- Will he have DSL/wifi available at all times? If not when? What time of the day? How often?

- Does he have a plan for long distance calls?

- Does he have a webcam? Headphones? Mic?

- How long will he be away? Will that timeframe include important days? Like anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, whatever? If so, plan in advance if he can spend some time with you on those occasions, so that you won't be let down.

- If your schedules won't allow any direct contact most of the time, it'd be nice if you find a way to share stuff, like pictures, movies, songs, etc. (that could be instagram, cloud space, or whatever)

 

With all that, you cover most things, the rest can be decided while he's away.

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