RyanBear Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I have been in a relationship for about 5 months to a girl in Australia. We are both very young (18) and i was wondering if at this age it would be wise to be in a long distance relationship? I am currently in high school and she is already in college. She is saving up to come to a uni near me. We have no way of moving anytime soon so i was wondering if you were in my position what would you do that would be best for not only but to your partner as well? Should i stay or should i let her go and maybe later in life we could possible get back together? Link to post Share on other sites
rana-rana Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I have been in a relationship for about 5 months to a girl in Australia. We are both very young (18) and i was wondering if at this age it would be wise to be in a long distance relationship? I am currently in high school and she is already in college. She is saving up to come to a uni near me. We have no way of moving anytime soon so i was wondering if you were in my position what would you do that would be best for not only but to your partner as well? Should i stay or should i let her go and maybe later in life we could possible get back together? hell yea its dumb lml. I tried doing it once when I was 16 and it lasted a week cuz so many cuties came at me in that time period it was killing me to stay so far away. dont do it! Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Totally too young. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Yeah, I'd wager it's too young to have much chance of success in it. Even if you were both mature beyond your ages and not interested in college dating, you'd still be very hampered by lack of financial independence and thus inability to visit much or close the distance. I had a LDR at 18, and though it definitely didn't work out, I don't regret having it. It taught me a lot about myself and relationships, and I was much better prepared for my next R, which happened to be local instead. Do what you feel is best for you, but don't compromise your future for the relationship, is all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HuggyKitty Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I wouldn't say you're too young to be in one. It's just harder to really expect to get what you need when you're in one, especially for younger people who want that typical college experience. I was in an LDR for 4 years, my entire high school career. Yes, I blew a ton of money to support it. Yes, he cheated in me. Yes, I stayed with him, and yes, we broke up. But I wouldn't change that for anything. It was a good experience. Sometimes it's easier to deal with the hard stuff when you are in an LDR. Be careful if you do decide to move in together. It's expensive and minds change and you find out a lot more than the people you thought each other were. Link to post Share on other sites
Aedra Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 (edited) I have been in a relationship for about 5 months to a girl in Australia. We are both very young (18) and i was wondering if at this age it would be wise to be in a long distance relationship? I am currently in high school and she is already in college. She is saving up to come to a uni near me. We have no way of moving anytime soon so i was wondering if you were in my position what would you do that would be best for not only but to your partner as well? Should i stay or should i let her go and maybe later in life we could possible get back together? I happen to be an Australian while my boyfriend is from the U.S. I am 25 and he is 33. We've been with each other for 3 years. I'd be lying if I didn't say it wasn't hell in a handbasket alot of the times. Visiting each other takes a 33+ hour flight, costs a fortune and we're both struggling financially and emotionally. We've both seen each other in our respective counties, but its only feasible once per year and he didn't tell me he went into debt when he came here the first year we were together. =/ This 3rd year looks to be a miss due to those money problems, which is only adding to the emotional burden of the relationship for both of us. Many people get into an LDR with zero clue of what it entails, including me. I'd say its been worth it so far despite the massive struggles, I've learnt alot about relationships, I traveled for the first time internationally and he's like my best friend as well as my boyfriend. I love this guy and we got along very well in the 2 months I stayed with him in the U.S last year...but to tell you the truth if you told me would I get into another long distance if it somehow didn't work out, I'd flat out say no. No ifs, buts or maybes. And 18 to be honest, you should not bother. Get yourself set up financially before deciding to seriously get into a long distance relationship. Date local girls, develop yourself. If you really like her, keep in touch with her, come visit her, see how it goes but tell her you're not ready until you guys can move in together. It'll save you alot of misery lol. Edited March 20, 2013 by Aedra 1 Link to post Share on other sites
miss_jaclynrae Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I did it at 17. It's possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanBear Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Thanks for the input guys but i think staying in this relationship and seeing where it goes is the best decision right now. I dont want to regret not staying with her. I no the chances are slim for us but i will take it. I will gain nothing from just leaving but learn something by staying and seeing where this could take me. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I have been in a relationship for about 5 months to a girl in Australia. We are both very young (18) and i was wondering if at this age it would be wise to be in a long distance relationship? I am currently in high school and she is already in college. She is saving up to come to a uni near me. We have no way of moving anytime soon so i was wondering if you were in my position what would you do that would be best for not only but to your partner as well? Should i stay or should i let her go and maybe later in life we could possible get back together? LDRs are extremely difficult to work out when you're living in the same country let alone different countries. The odds are extremely small that this will work out. And at 18?! Come on you both have and will have other options coming across you and the temptation will be great. Neither of you are established in anything, no sustainable job, haven't finished school, haven't experienced dating enough... I personally would never go into a LDR. The financial burden of traveling is unnecessary, temptations much greater, emotional connections tend to be more idealized than real when you don't see each other enough, etc. I think the BEST thing to do is let her know how you feel, but that you both have a lot to experience before either of you make huge moves, commitments that could involved moving to other continents, making financial mistakes, not finishing your education, etc. And as you suggested, if it's meant to be, see if she is available after you both have accomplished the afore-mentioned. Just my 2-cents.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanBear Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Actually i knew her for about 3 years ago but she had a trip coming to hawaii so she messaged me about it and like we started to develop feelings and we finally met for the first time 2months into our relationship. I want to try i dont want to throw away something we've both worked for. I know it hasnt been that long of a relationship but you never know what the outcome may be. I am well aware of the risk i am taking; however, it will not stop me from trying to make this relationship work. Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Actually i knew her for about 3 years ago but she had a trip coming to hawaii so she messaged me about it and like we started to develop feelings and we finally met for the first time 2months into our relationship. I want to try i dont want to throw away something we've both worked for. I know it hasnt been that long of a relationship but you never know what the outcome may be. I am well aware of the risk i am taking; however, it will not stop me from trying to make this relationship work. Idealistic, young and impetuous....not necessarily bad. So, you've made your decision and our opinions are no longer needed. Good luck. I'm rooting for you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanBear Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Thanks! much appreciated! Nonetheless, ill learn something out of this relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Actually i knew her for about 3 years ago but she had a trip coming to hawaii so she messaged me about it and like we started to develop feelings and we finally met for the first time 2months into our relationship. I want to try i dont want to throw away something we've both worked for. I know it hasnt been that long of a relationship but you never know what the outcome may be. I am well aware of the risk i am taking; however, it will not stop me from trying to make this relationship work. FWIW, I do know some couples who did make it work despite doing a LDR at 18, though theirs were in the same country, just a 4 hour drive away or something (which is much easier for financially dependent students to pull off than an international LDR). Good luck. Even if it doesn't work out, you'll at least have learnt something out of the experience, and 18 is as good a time as any to start learning about Rs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
amayana Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 I'm happy you made that decision. I'm 22, my boyfriend's 21 and we have been together for a year now. We've been doing long-distance for over 9 months and we're both in college. We've never had problems with temptations or anything in that respect. It's easy for us to stay away from such things because we're way too ambitious and stubborn. I also don't think we idealise our relationship, it's far from that actually. We both didn't believe we'd make it this far but we did and that's great. We have no idea how we're going to close this distance (UK/US isn't that easy because of visa issues) but I'm sure we'll find a solution soon enough. I have faith and I'm glad you have too. Rather try something extraordinary than having regrets later. Don't listen to the negative things other people are going to say, it's all about what you and your girlfriend believe. Good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanBear Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 Yes thanks! and Good luck to you too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanBear Posted March 21, 2013 Author Share Posted March 21, 2013 Thank you! Link to post Share on other sites
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