RyanBear Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 How do you trust your ld SO? What are signs that you she is lying? Is it worth being in one if you are insecure? Link to post Share on other sites
Love4Pain Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 If you are always going to worry about them cheating on you, then don't get into a LDR, it will drive you mad worrying about everything they do/ don't do and will cause problems. You've got to trust them and try not to get jealous about things they want to do (within reasonable boundaries just like in any relationship). You can always work on your insecurities bit by bit and building up a trust. Maybe you should talk to your SO or possible SO about both of your expectations for the relationship and what is and isn't crossing any personal lines and go from there. Try to be open, honest, supportive, and communicate with them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanBear Posted March 17, 2013 Author Share Posted March 17, 2013 (edited) Okay i have been trying. But this new guy she met through instagram had added her on facebool. and on our anniversary, she decides to ask him to go out for lunch. i confronted her and asked her why she would do that. She said that her friend was on her facebook but on facebook location it showed that the messages were coming from her street. This is what killed me. I asked her friend and she said she was on my girlfriends account. I dont know what to believe. Does it matter if my girlfriend cried when asked about it? I really dont know what to do. She also blocked him but last night unblocked him again and said she had not unblocked him and doesnt know how he got unblocked? Furthermore, he has said he missed her even though they barely knew each other? so she decides to message him at about 3 in the morning (6am my time). Edited March 17, 2013 by RyanBear Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted March 17, 2013 Share Posted March 17, 2013 Plenty of people cheat who live in the same town as you do. Distance has nothing to do with it. If you are insecure, it doesn't matter where you live. Link to post Share on other sites
NoMoreJerks Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 (edited) There is a very thin line between not being insecure and being naive, though. Any time that I didn't even get suspicious about my ex's behaviour/whereabouts, I wondered if I was just being naive, or just not insecure. If you feel like there is something wrong, your instincts are probably right. And to then brush aside these feelings and pretend nothing's wrong, is worse than being insecure, IMO. OP, your gf sounds like my ex, who went out on a Valentine's Day date with a woman he claimed his co-workers set him up with, despite the fact that he allegedly told them he had a gf. And then he didn't even talk with me about Valentine's Day on the day of, and when I brought it up, he claimed he forgot it was V-Day and that he'd "make it up to me." A few days before that, he had told me about plans to go out on a V-Day date with that woman and said that dinner, etc. had been arranged. I don't know if he ever did go out on V-Day with that woman (odds are he did, because he wouldn't have cancelled those dinner arrangements on the same day, because he allegedly "forgot" it was V-Day), because he claimed he was just going out drinking with his mates that night. Anyway, I didn't think that was cool. If he didn't think much of that day, I can understand, but then to go out on a date with some other woman, all the while saying you don't think it's a "special day", is rich. Besides, innocent or not, the "date" itself is cheating , or at the very least, it is very disrespectful of your partner. And he had the audacity to even tell me that he was going on that date, and that he was supposedly "set up." "Set up" doesn't mean you can't say no. He claimed his buddies "insisted". If my friends "insist" (who are they to "insist" on something that is my personal business?) that I go on a date with some guy while in a relationship with my bf, I would tell them to piss off. If you think your gf is cheating, she probably is, to be honest. Most of the people who do suspect cheating, are not really "insecure." That term is overrated anyway. You can't imagine how many women I personally know who ignored red flags like that, because they didn't want to seem "insecure", and then it turned out their husbands were cheating on them. I'd hate to be the naive woman who ignored all the signs, while her partner was cheating on her right under her nose. I'd err on the side of insecurity any day. Edited March 18, 2013 by NoMoreJerks Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanBear Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 Later in the messages though she said it would probably be a bad idea and said to him that this was last time she would stay and talk? (this was before she unblocked him). I think i should stay for more definite signs of cheating or flirting. Link to post Share on other sites
stevie_23 Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 In my opinion, it depends if you’ve always been in a LDR or if you were close together and then one of you moved and it turned into a LDR. Also it depends how you have always been with each other. I was in a LDR with my current partner for the first 9 months of our relationship and I never doubted her or mistrusted her. There was never a reason to. And I was also in a 2 year long LDR (affair) with my now ex (married man) and I trusted him too. It was a different and very much more complicated situation, but I had no reason to NOT trust him. If you’re going to be in LDR, you will be a WHOLE lot happier if you do just let go of a lot of insecurities and just TRUST them unless you really receive a lot of evidence to the contrary. That may sound like burying your head in the sand, but if you have always had a really good, honest relationship with this person, there’s no reason just because you’re far away from each other that you automatically can’t trust each other. And also if you’re long distance, there is NO WAY to get actual real EVIDENCE that they’re either lying OR telling the 100% truth, so why put doubts in your mind? It just creates stress and resentment between you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanBear Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 Please read my other post that's why i dont know if i can trust her or not. Should i wait for more? This has been an LDR from the start. I have trust issues but it was going well until this happened. Link to post Share on other sites
JustCallMeMike Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Ryan, I'm sorry that your going through with this and it must be tough for you to deal with. I too meet women online and then meet them in real-life. The whole face book thing about her blocking him, then somehow he got unblocked is a total lie IMO, because who else would have unblocked him on her account? Keep this in mind, never ever ask her friends about anything she does, they will tell her and it makes you look insecure or even like a stalker. I need more info about your situation if you want/need more help/tips. Your age? her age? Where did you meet her? Are you two serious about having a relationship? etc. Good Luck dude! Link to post Share on other sites
Author RyanBear Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 We are both young, we are both 18. I met her through a gaming website than facebook we started to talk. Yes we are serious or well i am. I just had a talk with her last night saying that if she wasnt happy she could leave. She could find find someone better, someone who can be there for her physically. She started to cry and said that no one else was better for her. She is trying to save up to come to Where i live and stay for college for about a year. Thats how serious it is. She has told some family members about us as well. Link to post Share on other sites
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