Am I over reacting

[v-g]

I am in a long distance relationship with a great guy. In April we will have known each other for a year. Until recently, things have been going fine. I was having some family problems, and he was there to assure me everything would be okay. However a couple days after that I sent him a text, he responded to inform me that he was having some Internet problems and he would contact me when he got them fixed. He texted me almost everyday after that, albeit once a day, just to say hey (he was still having Internet issues)

Fast forward to the 23rd, he finally gets in contact with me and says 'hey, sorry I haven't been talking to you, my Internet has been acting up.' And I told him 'It's alright, just glad to hear from you', and we continued have a conversation like we always do. However, that was the last time thT I have heard from him. I know for a FACT that he is no longer having Internet issues. I know for a FACT that he is okay. I just don't know why he isn't contacting me? He did this previously, only for a week and he informed me he was having some issues, but we talked it out and everything is fine. We have had a conversation about cheating and he has told me that he wouldn't let me know if he was or not, but he said that it would never result to that because he was happy. I have sent him multiple messages, and he hasn't responded yet.

 

Should I:

A: Send him another message and ask what's up.

B: Assume (assuming has always gotten me in trouble) that he is cheating and walk away.

C: Just give him some more time and see if he eventually talks to me and tells me what's going on?

We both really care about each other, and I hope that whatever is going on, he will let me know soon....

[pettie]

This might be a bit of a late answer, but...

 

Can you phone him?

[IfiKnewThen]

i wonder what the wind up was. what was this guy up to and his mystery? please get back in touch with us.

[v-g]

Update: Well it's been 2 weeks and a day, and I still haven't heard from him. I know he's alive so either something is seriously wrong, or he's not interested anymore and is too much of a punk to tell me he wants to break up. If it's the latter... I've helped him out too much for him to do something like that. If you're not interested anymore, tell me! It would hurt a heck of a lot worse than being blatantly ignored. I'm more than likely done with long distance relationships. You put all of your trust into someone, and something like this happens....

 

Thanks to everyones replys & I'll let you all know if anything else happens.

 

Vg

[Soufiane]

Same thing is happening to me with my girlfriend too and i know how you exactly feel :/

 

Try to call him or send him texts, and i hope everything goes well for you both!!

[pettie]

Update: Well it's been 2 weeks and a day, and I still haven't heard from him. I know he's alive so either something is seriously wrong, or he's not interested anymore and is too much of a punk to tell me he wants to break up. If it's the latter... I've helped him out too much for him to do something like that. If you're not interested anymore, tell me! It would hurt a heck of a lot worse than being blatantly ignored. I'm more than likely done with long distance relationships. You put all of your trust into someone, and something like this happens....

 

Thanks to everyones replys & I'll let you all know if anything else happens.

 

Vg

 

Again, why don't you call him and outright ask him what's going on?

Phone him!

[v-g]

UPDATE:

(to pettie and the other user, I would call and no answer)

 

But after 2 weeks he finaly contacted me. He's taking a long time (a day) to answer my texts, however. He knows I'm going to ask him why on Earth he was ignoring me. He doesn't have an excuse! Whenever something was awry he would flat out tell me, but nit this time. I can't wait to hear what he has to say for himself. I'm a no bs type of person, and I don't stick around and let people walk all over me, even if it's someone I love. I'll let you all know what his lame excuse was later. Thanks for you guy's support

[IfiKnewThen]

yeah i really wanta hear the update on this one....

 

just a little advise. dont come on too strong to him. act concerned...baby whats up. why are we not talking? and leave it at that

[pettie]

UPDATE:

(to pettie and the other user, I would call and no answer)

 

But after 2 weeks he finaly contacted me. He's taking a long time (a day) to answer my texts, however. He knows I'm going to ask him why on Earth he was ignoring me. He doesn't have an excuse! Whenever something was awry he would flat out tell me, but nit this time. I can't wait to hear what he has to say for himself. I'm a no bs type of person, and I don't stick around and let people walk all over me, even if it's someone I love. I'll let you all know what his lame excuse was later. Thanks for you guy's support

 

 

Hope everything is actually better than expected....

Good luck!

 

And yes, I second IfIKnewThen position.

[DrStrangelove]

Sorry, I wouldn't pursue this any further. BOTH parties must be commited, and he doesn't sound like he is there yet. But, if you really believe in it... keep chasing ..P.S. how old are you?

 

Show my thread some love ??

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/379708-familiar-shaadi-com-short-story

[IfiKnewThen]

wow this is painful to read b/c i am going thru the same thing she is. and that was my first thought about stuff where i am concerned. of course people would rather have this than a LDR. but i didnt think it meant that poof they acted on it pronto. but i hoped and prayed it wasnt. especially since he suffers from depression is narcissistic and not easy to get along with. and the fact the everytime he said i love you i could really feel it in his voice and tone. and he hasnt sounded so happy and has had anxiety and told me he want talking to anyone he was just being selfish. i hoped this meant playing games on the computer and zoning when he gets high. boy that sounds bad. i dont want that for him. i guess i just hoped for some truth. and then when i said if your with someone set me free dont contact me. he stopped his contact. but a part of me, hoped that he was just insulted when i asked that again. because he said he hated when i asked him that question because he was a faithful man.

Edited March 16, 2013 by IfiKnewThen

[v-g]

Well, he said he needed some space. And I understand that. Sometimes we get overwhelmed and need time to ourselves. As long as that doesn't involve cheating in one form or another. I wish he would have told me but whatever.

I am just too emotionally drained with him to even try to talk and sort out all of the feelings that I have about this whole situation with him. And although he has done petty things like this (he met this one girl and was interested in her and deserted me. Once he found out she wasn't what he wanted, he crawled back to me) before I just care too much to just walk away. I know I deserve better than this.

[v-g]

Come on, it's not rocket science. His silence IS an answer. How long did you really expect to keep up this long distance charade while both your lives passed you right on by? What's the POINT of being alone every Friday and Saturday night and never having someone to grab a cup of coffee with, go to a movie with, cook dinner for, jump in the car on a Sunday and go for a drive, plan a night out with, etc. etc. etc.

 

Where's the JOY in not being able to do that? Do you honestly think a half hour phone or chatbox conversation on a Sunday morning is just as satisfying as having coffee together then taking a drive in the country and stopping somewhere for breakfast?

 

Why limit yourself like that? There's just no point to it and he's moved on with someone who isn't just a voice on the phone or text on a screen. After a while, that silliness just isn't satisfying.

 

Move on with someone in the flesh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You are so right. I wish that I could just call it quits and move on to someone who I can actually SEE, you know? But when you have such strong feelings as I do for him, just getting up and walking away wouldn't be right. I guess it's fair to say I care too much....

[v-g]

Sorry, I wouldn't pursue this any further. BOTH parties must be commited, and he doesn't sound like he is there yet. But, if you really believe in it... keep chasing ..P.S. how old are you?

 

Show my thread some love ??

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/long-distance-relationships/379708-familiar-shaadi-com-short-story

 

 

I really wish it was that easy to move on. But one of these days I'm just going to have to gradually do it, even though I still have hope...

[pettie]

I'm sorry to hear about this. With the additional information you just provided (him doing something similar in the past, and it involved seeing another girl), I think you should let this one go.

 

As some posters say, LDR are a pain in themselves. We need to be in a very solid relationship to make it through the time apart, otherwise, it will be full of misery.

 

((hugs))

[Els]

OP, I agree with pettie that you should let this one go. LDRs are an investment with very long-term returns. There is little purpose in entering into an investment with someone who doesn't seem, well, all that invested.

 

Come on, it's not rocket science. His silence IS an answer. How long did you really expect to keep up this long distance charade while both your lives passed you right on by? What's the POINT of being alone every Friday and Saturday night and never having someone to grab a cup of coffee with, go to a movie with, cook dinner for, jump in the car on a Sunday and go for a drive, plan a night out with, etc. etc. etc.

 

Where's the JOY in not being able to do that? Do you honestly think a half hour phone or chatbox conversation on a Sunday morning is just as satisfying as having coffee together then taking a drive in the country and stopping somewhere for breakfast?

 

Why limit yourself like that? There's just no point to it and he's moved on with someone who isn't just a voice on the phone or text on a screen. After a while, that silliness just isn't satisfying.

 

Move on with someone in the flesh.

 

I don't see how the OP's situation is relevant to your rant about LDRs. Some LDRs that involve both parties being committed (as opposed to the OP's) actually do work out. They are not a charade, nor silliness.

 

As to what the point is in not having someone to grab coffee with on Friday night? The point is that when you both successfully close the distance, you get to have coffee every Friday night with someone who is truly special to you and vice versa, who gets you and you him, who is compatible with you in all the ways that matter to you... as opposed to having coffee with a different guy every month because you threw away a wonderful match due to distance. I was LD for 2 years, and I have never regretted it. (And we've been having coffee in the flesh for the 3 years after that and counting!)

Edited March 17, 2013 by Elswyth

[IfiKnewThen]

just continue to give him his space. consciously dont count on him though. keep getting stronger while your with him see if the space will help sort things out. my guy finally called me last night. said he was being a bum, hasnt even gone to work in close to 2 weeks. been playing video games. been true. not talking to anyone. i didnt even ask him, he volunteered all of this but he knew from some letters i wrote i was tired of wondering. but he pretended not to have read the letters. said he was just in a zone or zoning with his life. that i am the best thing in his life, loves me is faith etc. blah blah. but i was thankful to hear something and that good news. but sad he would ditch me for a game too. but happy nothing more. but still stoic from the shock and pain he caused me. he said he knew he was digging a big ditch in his life and and it became harder and harder to call me and admit that or hear about it. i didnt tell him off. i listened. i said ok. he said i deserve for you to be mad at me. i said i am not mad. (cough) and he and i were pleasant. it was 10pm at night when he called me and he said he just woke up. sighs i am speechless. i am going to try to continue to get stronger....( i hope)