Long distance relationship... Let me know your thoughts

[Unknownsld]

There is a beautiful woman I have been talking to off and on for 5 years, her name is Crystal. We originally met on a website (would you hit this .com) and began to talk on facebook and the phone on a constant basis, even nightly and all night long. She has made plans to come see me on a number of occasions yet has not come down and came up with excuses (usually medically related) as to why she can't and had to push it back. Five years ago she made plans to come see me and said as she was on her way to the airport with her daughter in the car, that she was involved in a car accident that left her with severe and chronic migraines. After that, I had grown to distrust her and made comments that she was lying and playing me for a fool, as well as contacting another guy whom she was talking to on facebook a lot. After contacting him, he and I called her on three way while I stayed silent and called her out for telling him and I that she loved us both. During the phone call she told him she loved him, that was when I spoke up saying "oh really and I thought you loved me". That lead to her to stop talking to me for a while.

 

Some time later, out of no where Crystal contacts me after telling me to never contact her again, acting as if nothing was really wrong and picked up where we left off. Again, some time later we stopped talking with her saying it was something that I did to cause her not to trust me. Over the years we talked off and on with her always saying it was my fault we stopped talking. At some point while her and I were talking, I mistakenly introduced her to a former high school friend and classmate of mine whom she ended up dating for a while over the internet and phone. At that time, I was seeing someone whom my friend had tried to get to sleep with him. After her and I split up ending with her sleeping with another guy in my bed 3 times, Crystal continued to talk to my friend constantly calling me up over the course of a year complaining how my friend would not talk to her. It ended up with me not talking to this woman for almost a year.

 

Recently, around June of 2012 Crystal had contacted me again out of no where and we began to talk again off and on for a few months. Finally, at some point around August or September her and I began to talk on more of a regular basis again and near November or December we began to get more romantic again. Between the time we had started talking on a regular basis and December she made plans three times to come see me but had pushed those plans back each time. Each time it has had something to do with medical reasons and at some point I found that she had two facebook profiles, one completely blocked with the exception of one picture of her so called service dog. After doing some digging, I found a picture of her mother and father with her grandmother and another male and female, the other female being tagged as Crystal. This was before she added me back to facebook on her other account that was not blocked. Her reasons for having two accounts was that one was for family and the other was for internet friends, because her family would ask to many questions and she did not want to deal with that. Her account that only shows the picture of her dog, she recently blocked me from that page all together.

 

Lately, she has had a male friend of hers staying the night one to two nights a week every couple of weeks. Many of those times he has slept in the same bed with her but she swears up and down that he is her GAY best friend. Just the past two nights he had stayed the night again and the plan was for him to sleep in bed with her. I brought up for the third time that I was not comfortable with that and she got angry with me saying I did not trust her. It seems it is ok for her to sleep in the same bed with another guy but not for me to do the same with another female, even though I have enough respect not to sleep in bed with another female as I am talking to and care about this woman. She has been telling me that she will be coming down this February but has pushed it back two or three times this month alone. Her reason for coming down this February is because of her daughters birthday. Now the plan is for her to come down after the 21st, yet there is still no date set.

 

Her reason for not having a date set is because of an ear infection that just happened to pop up about a week ago and she has a doctors appointment for it on the 13th of this month. Pending the outcome of the doctors appointment, she will be setting a date to come down but it won't be till after the 21st because of another doctors appointment for her pain medications as she said that she is disabled with severe and chronic migraines due to the car accident she was in five years ago. There have been a number of inconsistencies with many of the things she has told me. However, I have recently found out that she is probably the female that she say's she is physically. Though I still have the feeling something is not right and is possibly seeing someone else and leading me on again.

 

Also I would like to add that on her facebook page, her status say's that she is married. Recently, I had spoken to my awesome little sister Saima about everything that has been going on with this woman and I. At first, my sister trusted her but recently she has been feeling that the woman I have been talking to is being very shady. When my sister or I mention anything about me being her boyfriend or hubby on her facebook she deletes it. Her excuse for that being that her daughters father does not know that we are in a sense dating and as he is still in the military she doesn't want him to get worried. Also another reason she gives an excuse for that, is that she doesn't want people on her facebook friends to start asking questions. To add to that, she has a wedding set, one that she bought herself and say's that she wears that when she goes out to keep guys from hitting on her. This also seems a little odd to me.

 

When my awesome little sister and I confronted her about it, she became very defensive and angry over everything we brought up to her. Her reasons for not letting us talk to her friend Luke on three way was because he is extremely shy. She gave many other reasons for things that she does or say's. Now she doesn't want me talking to my little sister about anything. She also say's that I ask way to many questions but it is my belief that I have the right to ask when I feel something is awry.

 

I REALLY want to know what the truth is with her. She refuses to let me come up there to see her and wants to come here to see me instead. I really care about this girl and want a relationship with her. But I need to know that she really is being honest with me, not leading me on and wants to be with me. Also, I must mention that she told me if I contact you and she finds out she will be extremely angry and not talk to me anymore. Yet at the same time, she has said that if I contact anyone in her family the same will happen again. I really really need your help, so if you could please help me with this I would greatly appreciate it.

 

Update: I have been waiting to see if she is going to come down or not. She pushed the date back from coming to see me last week to this weekend and today pushed it back till after the 27th. Still has no date set or bags packed and has no clue when or how she is going to come see me, either by flight or by train. Keeps saying she will figure it out later and doesn't want to talk to me about it. She gets angry when I bring it up and tries to make me look like the bad guy for bringing it up again

[KoKo0]

Sorry I didn't read your whole post, it is too long. LDR are tiring and if you don't put in the work, it will NOT work.

[salparadise]

I think you'd better cut your losses on this one. If her Facebook page says she's married, believe it. Sounds like to me she's gaming you just for the fun of it.