glassuther Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Well as the title suggests, my SO broke up with me last friday..... We have been together for only 5 months but they feel like I have learnt alot about her and I truly love her. We are extremely young with her only being 13 but really mature. She was truly a really mature girl who could think for herself and stubborn. She was like an 18 year old girl in the body of a 13 year old. I'm 15 soon to be 16 on my way to handling my GCSEs in England. Now we started going out at September after meeting in a forum and talking nonstop. We had a great 5 months with a few up and downs and fun. Then on friday last week, she just told me that she couldn't handle the distance anymore because her parents didn't allow her to come here because of family reasons. I understood it but I was still hurt. We cried during the two and a half hours skype session because I still couldn't puzzle it. We came so close to breaking up last november because of the same reason but we didn't since she was allowed. Since friday, I've been feeling so down and always end up thinking about the good memories we had. I want to move on but I couldn't get rid of her. We're still in love and I made a promise to her that I will come down to Sweden soon but she just won't believe me which is pushing me down because I want to but she thinks it will cause even more of a heartbreak because she can't believe we still have a future which I want to make. She also keeps saying that "what if we both in a relationship by then?" Right now, I've decided I will call her tomorrow for the last time and take a break for a month and get in touch again to see how things are. Please give me advice because I am so lost :/ P.S. One of the reasons I can't let go is I am scared that she might get a new boyfriend and he turns out to be a jerk to her but posing as a saint at first. I just don't want her to be treated badly and I love her so much. She's also my first gf that I've ever had and I'm still committed to her and want to go to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Love4Pain Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 It's hard when you're young in a long distance situation like that, I'm 26 and my recent ex broke up with me claiming that he couldn't handle the distance. Even though you say that she acts mature, I don't think you can really judge that so early on. People go through a lot of changes as they grow up, and you both may turn into different people between now and turning 18. If you two really care about each other, then maybe it would be best to stay friendly until you are both a little older and better able to deal with things like distance. When I was 13 I had no intentions of wanting a boyfriend, but personally if I have feelings for someone that are honest the distance or waiting doesn't bother me. I think you both may need some time to be teenagers, it hurts, I know, but if it's meant to be then your feelings for each other can certainly come back down the road. But for now, pushing her would probably be a mistake even though it hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author glassuther Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 It's hard when you're young in a long distance situation like that, I'm 26 and my recent ex broke up with me claiming that he couldn't handle the distance. Even though you say that she acts mature, I don't think you can really judge that so early on. People go through a lot of changes as they grow up, and you both may turn into different people between now and turning 18. If you two really care about each other, then maybe it would be best to stay friendly until you are both a little older and better able to deal with things like distance. When I was 13 I had no intentions of wanting a boyfriend, but personally if I have feelings for someone that are honest the distance or waiting doesn't bother me. I think you both may need some time to be teenagers, it hurts, I know, but if it's meant to be then your feelings for each other can certainly come back down the road. But for now, pushing her would probably be a mistake even though it hurts. That's what we're doing at the moment. We've decided to be friends but only talk once a week to get used to being away from each other. We can still talk like friends. Although I am confident I'll work hard and be able to go to her, the thought of her getting a new boyfriend still bothers me. She said that until I arrive, she won't get a serious relationship but things can go the other way and I really want to have a future with her. I didn't see it coming though... It devastated me and made my weekend feel slow and crap and I don't know how am I going to go about my normal life right now. She'll always have a piece of my heart though.... Link to post Share on other sites
Love4Pain Posted February 19, 2013 Share Posted February 19, 2013 Going and visiting is always a good idea if you can do it, but you should also remember that both people should be making efforts to see each other, if it turns out that you are always the one making the trip, that can put a strain on you and might make you feel like you are putting in more effort than her. Although, with the both of your ages I don't know how easily you can make trips? It's hard when you care about someone and you don't want them to get into another relationship while you can't be together but you are going to have to be prepared to hear one day or find out that she did get another boyfriend. Likewise, even though you care about her a lot, you yourself shouldn't expect to wait around being single for x amount of time unless you honestly want to be single for yourself and not just to be available if/when the time comes. I've only been broken up with my ex since the beginning of January and he had a girlfriend before we officially split, but there's nothing I can do about that. Even though my case is different then yours, we can't expect people to wait for us or stay single for our sake after broken up, we can only hope that even if they do find someone new, if it was meant to be between the two of you that you both will come back together and be better than before Link to post Share on other sites
Author glassuther Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 Going and visiting is always a good idea if you can do it, but you should also remember that both people should be making efforts to see each other, if it turns out that you are always the one making the trip, that can put a strain on you and might make you feel like you are putting in more effort than her. Although, with the both of your ages I don't know how easily you can make trips? It's hard when you care about someone and you don't want them to get into another relationship while you can't be together but you are going to have to be prepared to hear one day or find out that she did get another boyfriend. Likewise, even though you care about her a lot, you yourself shouldn't expect to wait around being single for x amount of time unless you honestly want to be single for yourself and not just to be available if/when the time comes. I've only been broken up with my ex since the beginning of January and he had a girlfriend before we officially split, but there's nothing I can do about that. Even though my case is different then yours, we can't expect people to wait for us or stay single for our sake after broken up, we can only hope that even if they do find someone new, if it was meant to be between the two of you that you both will come back together and be better than before I feel that I'll just have to swallow it when she tells me that she found a new one but she has repeatedly told me many times that she'll never find someone like me. I am very confident we'll come back together and have a future together. I'll get her and keep her one day no matter what Link to post Share on other sites
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