Will she take me back?

[brokenheart9]

Me and my girlfriend love each other.

We had a special relationship, and we both saw a bright future together.

It was an LDR, so she lived in America and I lived in the UK. She's been here

with me for 2 weeks and then again for 5 months, living with me in my flat each

time she came. And we used to Skype everyday and try to spend time with each other

even if it was behind a computer screen. I'd stay up till 6 am just to be with her.

We were deeply in love with each other and spoke about meeting each others families in the summer.

 

She is the only one who's been so close to me, she knows me inside out and I know her

inside out too. No one has ever been this close, not even a family member.

 

It all came crashing down on Sunday when she told me she didn't want to be with

me anymore, and that over time her love changed, and it became a parental role for

her and she felt she wasn't equal in the relationship, which is understandable.

 

After talking on Monday morning she basically said the same thing, and then when she got home, we had a longer discussion of where it went wrong, and I acknowledged my mistakes and I wanted to correct them.

But she said she didn't want to be with me anymore which was heartbreaking..very heartbreaking.

The pain was so great, it would have trouble breathing. I didn't eat for 3 days nor

drink a lot of water.

 

On the same night she said she still wanted to be friends and that she still wanted

to be part of my life, and to know that I'm okay. She said we should still talk on Skype

but not that frequently.

 

The pain my chest wouldn't stop hurting, knowing that she didn't want to continue

and that she was being asked out by a co-worker and she agreed. She told me they

flirted, and he asked her out on Valentines day and she told me she is going to

keep her mind of things.

 

She told me she wanted to break it off earlier but she loved me too much and held

on hoping But It was such a shock because she never indicated that there was a major problem

or I didn't pick up the hints.

 

I had a job interview on Tuesday, and it went without without a hitch, but before the

interview, she told me she didn't want to hurt me and that she was really proud of me

for trying to stand up on my feet again.

 

The same day I got called for a second interview and she messaged me to know how my first

interview went on Skype.

 

Tuesday night we started to Skype and she was in tears.

 

She told me it was very painful for her as well

as it was for me. She re-explained why she wanted to break up and I understood, I really did.

And that she was very proud of me that I was this strong. She knew I was hurting a lot on the

inside. She told me that she wasn't eating either and that during her lunch break at work she

cry in the toilets and try not let anyone see her beautiful face.

 

That picture of her being alone and just crying really made me sad, knowing if I was there

I would've taken care of her, tried to protect her.The image haunted me.

 

We started reminiscing about the fun moments of our relationship, and we were both in tears,

I was gonna buy her flowers for Valentines day, and she asked me to show what I had picked.

Since it was gonna be a surprise, but there wasn't any point buying them.

 

I was hesitant at first but showed her..she started to cry again and told me they were beautiful

and that she would've picked them too and that they were perfect, tears wouldn't stop streaming down

our faces. I knew that we had to give each other space and time, but I was really hoping we would

give it another go, but the request was futile.

 

She told me she still wanted to be friends, and talk occasionally on Skype and message each other

on our phones. Which in a way I was happy, atleast I got to see her, and know she's okay. She asked

me about my interview, and I explained that I was the only Uni student there and the rest were older

and looked more professional with portfolios, and I was just holding a my CV, and out of the 8 people

that were there only 3 people were called back for a second interview and I was one of them. I explained

how much I was earning and that I would need to wear shirt and tie to work everyday.

 

Again she started to cry and told me she was so proud of me and wanted me to go further and succeed.

She told me she still cared for me, and still wanted to be part of my life. She said that she wanted

some space, which I am willing to give her. She told me that I am her strongest love.

 

But then she threw a curve ball, saying it wasn't out of the realm of possibility of getting back together

in the future, if it was meant to be. My heart skipped a beat as I heard this.

I told her that in the future, when I'm in the position to act, I will pursue her again, and she smiled and

nodded slowly. We spoke a little more about future plans. She said she didn't want to date anyone right away

even though she was going out with her co-worker on Thursday, which confused me a little.

 

She told me that she disabled notifications if I messaged her so that if she was with someone, they wouldn't

catch on. I smiled on the inside knowing I still had a place in her heart. But she told me if I ever had the oppertunity

to meet someone else, that I shouldn't miss the chance. We spoke and smiled and laughed a little more and then she had to

hang up to eat and sleep. We agreed to Skype again on Friday.

 

I was checking my phone as I messaging my best friend for advice and emotional help and I realised, that she was

checking Whatsapp every half hour, which I found strange and she kept checking her phone until she fell asleep.

I haven't spoken to her today (Wednesday) I miss her very very very much, but I guess I also want to give her space.

 

I wanted to ask, is how do I deal with these feelings? Would she want me back in the future?

How do I deal when I talk to her only to find shes with other people?

 

I really hope she does not find love anywhere else.I decided to up my game and try to become the man she wants to

be with. I just hope its not in vain, I really do still love her, I just hope there's a chance we get together again.

But I don't know how long that will take. Does she want me back in the future? Would she? How do I win her back?

 

i'm sorry for the long post.

[ana0pera]

Brokenheart, you need time to heal, you both do actually, before you can even think about being friends or getting back together with you. I feel like she's reaching out to you a lot (even though she's the one who dumped you) and reminiscing about what you had. Well you don't have a relationship anymore, sorry to say it and sorry if it's blunt, but it's the truth.

 

I think you need to block her out of your life for a while so that you can see life does go on without her. Try No Contact (NC). It works for many people, and even if it doesn't work for you (it didn't work well for me) just trying to block her is a step forward. tell her that you need some space. make it just a month or two for starters. tell her you both need time to grieve and move on and that constantly talking to one another isn't going to help. Even if she gets upset, hold your fort and stick to NC. Don't give in. Work on yourself and keep yourself busy. Good luck.

[Asda]

I have been through similar story but very harsh way. Anyway, feelings will calm down eventually, yes they will, but if she will comes up back in your life I am sure it will ignite because we stay what we are, you can not kill LOVE. Same happened with me, but it goes down with time, there is no other way than get through it, none, face it 1 on 1 that was my experience, and with time you are back to normal, I am still in the process now but it is easier than in the beginning.

Long distance sucks, because you loosing all those moments(smiles, happy moments, jokes, laughs etc. etc. ), and these moments bind you together very strong especially if you both have feelings to each other, but long distance is something that just will give you pain instead of happiness. She made first move, pulled the trigger, you can not dance on your own. I was dumped unexpectedly and am suffering badly, still 18 months since, but I am surviving. I advise do not get into long distance relationships it is not healthy ones, it can be temporary with set time limit but not the way I had, or you have in your case, who knows for how long all this will last? she is not coming to live with you in UK, you are not going there to live with her in US, it is not normal to live like that. I experienced it, it damaged me badly to the point I don't want anything with anyone for now. Best option talk to each other but much more less, and go on decline, same time turn your eyes on some other lady and gradually switch to her, hope this way you will feel less pain, internal pain worse than physical. Or go NC rule but I don not advise to do it, is torture for the heart. Wish you all the best!

Edited February 14, 2013 by Asda

[patsfan92]

She's leading you on. You're not getting back together, she just likes the attention she gets from you and that you're always gonna be there as a safety net. A safety net in case all her other men don't work out.