Should I Pursue Something With Her?

[MIAho]

Over the summer while my girlfriend and I were broken up, I met another girl on a dating website. We have a lot in common, both have the same personalities and a lot of the same interests. We've enjoyed joking around with each other and subtly flirting with each other. Everything about her was great, except for one thing, she lived half way across the country.

 

Eventually I got back together with my girlfriend, which I had been trying to do since before I started talking to her. I told her about this and she was happy for us. Despite that we've continued talking to each other on almost daily basis. Sometimes the conversations I have with her are better than the ones I have with my girlfriend, which usually tend to be one-sided.

 

Before this we never really talked about taking things further. I was scared off by the fact she works for a company that requires her to relocate all the time. Right now she's stuck where she is for two years and will have to move somewhere else after that.

She also indicated that she had been in a long-distance relationship before and had no interest in pursuing another one.

 

I also didn't have any interest pursuing something with her if it would eventually fizzle out because of the distance. She seems like the type of woman I'd want to be in a long-term relationship with if she did lived closer to me and I don't think she'd be worth pursuing it would be anything less than that.

 

Things haven't really been going so great with my girlfriend and I've think we might even break up again all of which has me wondering if I should take a chance and try to pursue something with her. Despite everything it does seem like we do have chemistry and despite her opinions on not wanting a long-distance relationship, I've noticed a few indications that she might feel the same way.

[crazystupid]

This is eerily similar to a situation I myself am in. Only I would be the girl in this story. So from my side, I would have to say talk to her about a possible LDR. Depending on what she says might help you make a decision. I believe if it is meant to happen, it will happen at one time or another. And let us say you do try it. You break up with your girlfriend and it doesn't work out, you will never question your decision or have the regret of not trying. Which in my opinion is the worst thing, and eats away at you as time goes by. But honestly, you can't have your cake and eat it too; if you are in a relationship and you're seriously considering a long-term relationship with another person, maybe you shouldn't be in the one you are in now. In conclusion, talk to her and see where she stands on the whole LDR thing, that way you can legitimately know. And good luck.

[czen]

I'm kinda in a similar situation, except I have a LDR and am starting to get interested in a girl who lives locally.

 

I agree with crazystupid about that you can't have it all, you can't both try to get a relationship with this girl and stay with your girlfriend. I know it sounds appealing, stay in your comfort zone with your girlfriend and have her to fall back on if it doesn't end up well with this new girl, but do you really want to start something while you're still involved with your current girlfriend? It's both unfair to the new girl and the girlfriend.

If you really are considering another girl, you're indeed probably gonna break up with your girlfriend. You need to be in a relationship for the full 100%, otherwise it won't work. So choose who you want and stick with it. I'm having a hard time choosing to in my situation, so I get that it would be hard, but you have to do it. Just think about who you'd you would fit better with. You started a relationship with your girlfriend for a reason, so don't just remember the bad moments while making your decision. And also recognize the fact it always more exciting and better when you meet someone new and start something with them.

 

Anyways, about the whole LDR thing: she is here for two years right? Who knows what wi happen after that. maybe she'think that a LDR is worth it then. Maybe she'stay. Maybe you have broken up aready. I woudn't let the fact that she may eave in two years time infuence your judgement anyway.

Just decide on who you woud have a better reationship with. You can do it on your own, or do it after gauging the interest level of the new girl, but you need to make the decision.